Field Reports

 
I went out last night to chill with friends in Tonic bar in the city. I remember in the beginning of the day I hit up some ppl on facebook and jsut didnt have the motivation to continue talking to some ppl who weren't responsive. Fuck it it's just FB. I should practice my phone game while at home because it forces me to be in the moment and develop my conversational skills.

I go out and I feel out of state, but I still socialize with people regardless. Talk with HBJap, who I found out had sex last month. Dude, that guy should be ME. I should have nailed her when I had the chance. I felt frustrated, here I was at home moping about being bored, when people are getting laid. I become inert at home. I have to be more positive and motivated by social success. Social is more important than anything. I don't have happy, uplifting people around me at home, that's why I get down.

I know I have to be stronger and internally centered, but I need people better than me who are on this self-improvement journey as well. We're social creatures, we need interpersonal support. My family isn't enough.

I want to practice TKD to improve my inner game and reaction but I don't have nearby training so I might have to take on weight training. I prefer something liek bball but it's impossible in this weather.

-Weight training
-Toastmasters
-Harvesting my contacts and building social circle

Wow, I haven't had female contact in what seems like forever. I cant take this anymore..... I'm going to have a breakdown if I don't get it. I get to meet up with this little cutie from Marlboro tommorow. Gonna take things physical. And if i go to this house party I'll be sure to do work.
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