Field Reports

 
i went to belleville house party with CL. Before we went I was practicing tae kwon doe with a friend and I realized how in my head i was. we get to the house and i feel out of the state until i meet people i know - arnie and nate. i played some pong. this fat girl let me drink out of her flask i chat with for a bit. i talk with my friends to get in the social state.

i say hi to the birthday girl. later i smoke up and in the line i'm talking to this cute girl with highlights. when i go in, she goes in too and sits next to me. i should have gamed her at that point but i kept thinking. i was analyzing people in front of me, i have to replace that thought pattern if i ever want to be good. no analyzing, just BE. i should be in set the entire night. like how nate was the wild funny party boy. i was taking things too seriously. i just have to let go and be aggressive. there's nothing to THINK about.

i saw how one of the dancer guys was directing the highlighed hair girl how to smoke, it was dominant and the way he touched her.
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