Articuno76's Blog

 
 I've had some funny shit tests in my time.  Sadly I often  don't realise that I am being tested whilst the tests are happening, but building experience with them means I am recognising (and acting accordingly) when they happen.  Last week I had a whopper of one:

I was at a social meet and getting along well enough with everybody.  I talked to one girl about a subject close to my heart and a guy listened in and at the end told me that I had my facts all backwards (he said this very convincingly). This is normally an embarrasing situation, however what happened that night was I just let it go.  This must have made the girl somewhat interested because after talking for a while she asked me my name (which is a nice change of pace).  To protect the innocent we will call this girl, Becca.  So I said 'Oh, Becca, as in short of Rebecca?' to which she replied: 'Yeah, it's a BITCH's name?!'.  I realised all of a sudden what was happening; the sudden threat to derail the conversation, the out of place anger in her voice; this was a shit test.  I've messed these up before by backing off, but this time I saw it all happening in real-time and laughed it off.  I looked at her and sized her up from head to toe, taking her in and then told her 'You know I'm glad you said it. It is a name, isn't it'.  She gave me that playful shock that women normally give and then I re-assured her 'Don't worry, your my favourite bitch'.  

I had a weird one with another girl as well.  She was not being particularly social so I walked up and taught her how to thumb-wrestle.  Later I told her to keep an eye on my bag, and we kept going back and forth over how long she should keep an eye on it.  In retrospect I should have told her to come closer to me (so I could hear her better) and then told her that she better take care of it for at least five minutes cos if I came back and found her not there I'd take that plank of wood over there and spank her with it.  Ah, but benefits of hindsight!

The last thing I did that night that I was pleased with was that I walked up to one girl on my way out and for asked her 'hey, do you have portugese blood in you?' (she looked like a portugese friend of mine).  She didn't but she completely forget about the conversation she was having with the other guy (I felt a bit bad about that) and started asking me my name, if I would come again next week and so on...when all I actually wanted to do was leave and catch the bus.  Still, I affirmed once again that I do have it in me.  The reality that at least half the women in my vicinity will find me attractive is becoming that much stronger. 
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