Articuno76's Blog

 
 What is the enigmatic entity known as Umbrella Penis and how did it come to be?  Read on and you shall find out.

Tonight I went out expecting rain (it has been raining pretty much on-and-off for two weeks now).  I took my umbrella with me only to find it dry out.  This meant I was the 'that with the umbrella' who stood out in the bar crammed with hot girls in tight dresses.  So I made the best of a bad situation :P

I took the umbrella between my legs and introduced girls to Umbrella Penis.  And so Umbrella Penis was born.  

I would get girls to touch it.  The best bit is the handle of the umbrella moved up and down in a pumping action...which was great fun for when I got random girls to jerk off my Umbrella Penis.  Some girls were so into it that instead them being embarassed by it, I started getting flustered! Ahaha.

Not everyone has a sense of humour though.  I approached two girls and they gave me a massive blanking.  They didn't speak up but they seemed to be mumbling something about me going away (I think). I decided to stick around as hearing this is old hat.  Sometimes you need to persevere.  Anyway, Umbrella Penis had been a hoot so far so why would it not work now?  So I continued talking.  That's when a muscle-man guy got all up in my face about it.  I didn't realise the guy was part of the set (when I approached he was just checking his phone and didn't seem to be with anyone).  He got aggressive with me saying things like "What do you want, MATE?".  I honestly didn't know how to handle the situation so I decided to just talk to the guy as if he had said something friendly instead.  This didn't work.  Instead he gotten even closer (enough to touch noses) and said the sames things again.  Louder this time.  His spittle was flying in my face and he smelled distinctly of marijuana.  At this point my friend how had been watching walking in, put an arm around my shoulder and pivoted me smoothly away from that situation.  

In retrospect I realised I was nowhere near afraid enough considering he might have gotten violent.  Then again maybe he wouldn't have actually gotten violent at all and I handled it well?  I dunno. What I do know is that from my friend's perspective it didn't look like I was being at all bothered by the guy.  And that meant a lot to me.
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