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Aristotle
 
Compassion

"Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back."
(Arthur Rubinstein)

     I've been throwing this idea around in my head for a while now.  The idea of just going about my life, full of compassion.  What if I really made it a goal to give value to those around me.  My first reaction when thinking about this idea as a clinging feeling.  It's so strange and absurd now, but the idea of giving value initially triggered in me feeling of clinging.  I felt like I was giving away something that was dear to me.  It's completely irrational and selfish but that seems to be the natural reaction of the ego.  Value is not a limited resource.  It's not something that you will run out of if you give it.  In fact it is quite the oppisite; the more you give value, the more value you have.  This is what compassion is.  To live life in the state of compassion is to keep your self open to giving value.  You go about your day thinking of others.  You approach interactions with others with a positive mind and the intention to in some way bring some good to the interaction. 
    
     Compassion arises from solidly having the values of presence and gratitude.  In the Gratitude artical we talked about how having gratitude is realizing that you really have things great and you don't Need more from others.  The natural progression of this is realizing that not only do you not have to leech off of others, you can actually Give to others.  This is also a default setting, if you will, of being present.  I really don't know how to explain it but im sure you can relate to what Im talking about.  The way that when you are fully present in the moment, you feel so content and fulfilled that the overflow leads to you being more caring, or just gererally nicer to people.  In addition it's not the kind of chode "Im nice because I want other people to like me" nice; it's the very attractive "Im nice because I want other people to feel good, why wouldn't I" kind of nice.  There is no neediness there.

     The most important thing here is, that with compassion, you're not doing it because it will make people like you and make you more attractive to women, you do it because YOU FEEL LIKE IT.  It has to be a basic part of who you are.  Being not doing.  If not it turns on it's head and becomes a form of neediness. 

     There's not a set way to go about being compassionate, you just do it.  The only thing you can really do to cultivate genuine compassion is to understand what compassion is to you.  You need to find a way that compassion is important to you.  For me, I just feel better when ever I make someone else feel good.  The deeper level of this I suppose, is that I see a little bit of myself in every one.  I've been reading "The art of Happiness", a book of a bunch of interviews with the Dali Lama about living a happy life.  I reccomend this book for getting you to think about compassion.  By seeing people around me as other living concious beings, I feel more open to authentic communication with them, and in this I feel more compassion for them.  This process works in both directions.  Through the practice of compassion you strengthen your interactions with everyone and create win-win situations where everyone involved gains value.  Who doesn't want to be around a fountain of value.

   
 
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Aristotle
 
Integrity
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“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
~Kurt Cobain~

       Finished out the semester and sorted out some personal stuff so now I have had more time to resume my series on the 5 virtues of game.  The topic of this issue is the virtue of Integrity.  First off what is integrity?  This virtue is probably the hardest for me to explain because it is hard to define exactly what I mean by integrity.  Integrity is the quality of adhering to a high standard of personal conduct and honesty.  It is having standards for yourself that dictate how you act.  Someone with solid integrity knows who they are.  They know what is acceptable behavior from them self and others.  They are honest to the world in that they are true to them self.  It is genuineness, and being outwardly congruent with what you are inside.  All together, to have high integrity is to say... 


       “This is who I am, and this is what I think and feel.  These are the standards that I hold myself to no matter what is going on outside of me, therefore my outward actions are a reflection of my internal self.” 


       When one has integrity, they follow their core and let their intentions lead them.  In a previous article of mine I talked about the importance of living by your own intentions.  Basically when you live with integrity you feel what you want deep down to your core, and because you know who you are, and you live by your standards, you pursue it.  With out integrity you are just at the mercy of the world around you.  You have no inner drive and code of conduct that says “No matter what happens, this is who I am.”  Because this is internal, only you have control over it, and therefore when you are faced with outside resistance or obstacles you can stand strong and be rooted in yourself.


       What does this all have to do with pick-up?  When you see some fine honeys your core reaction is “Hot girls. I want that!”  After that you may or may not approach her.  If have integrity you will go with your core and decide “Ok because I think she is cute I will go talk to her.”  Because you have integrity you are fully congruent with your core intentions.  If you lack integrity you may decide “Well I want her but, I don’t want to get rejected, get embarrassed, not know what to say, seem weird, ect...”  You get the idea.  Some one without integrity lacks that connection that turns intent to action.  You feel one thing but you do another, you have no integrity.

      
       In addition if you have integrity you have boundaries and standards for others.  This is very attractive.  If you hand over control of your life to a girl or anyone for that matter and let them dictate your values and thus decisions, you hand over your power and burden others because you can't take care of yourself let alone a girl.  


       Integrity keeps you on your path and a man of value knows where he is going in life.  He has a path and a strong reality.  Women can count on him to be a strong rock to hang onto in times of turbulence so she can embrace her feminine energy.  This is what makes integrity important.


       There's no real special exercise to strengthen integrity.  You just do it (just like Nike's moto).  Follow your core, have integrity, and know who you are and what you want and believe. Some times it helps to write these things down so you can solidify them.
   
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Aristotle
 
Presence
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“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


~Marianne Williamson~ 


     For the following questions there are 2 acceptable answers.  Here.  Now.  Where are you?  What time is is?  This is presence in a nut shell.  Here and Now.  That simple.  There’s not much to think about for that, and thats exactly the point.  Presence is the ability to be fully in the Here and Now with all of your consciousness.  Look around you and you will see that anyone who is really good at anything has sharpened this ability to a razor’s edge.  Any read or listen to any interview with any pro athlete, great artist, musician, successful business person, or guy who’s great with women.  When asked what they think about when they do what they do, most will say “nothing”.  They are fully conscious in the moment.  They direct all their resources to the only time frame they have any precedence in, Now.  

     The present is the only timeframe in which any thing happens.  All your decisions are made in the present moment, all actions are taken in the present moment, and all results occur in the present moment.  We only have so much mental compactly, meaning we can only focus on and deal with so much at one time.  If are thinking about the past or future, you are directing you attention, and therefore mental energy to time frames that you have no direct control over.  You can’t change what has already happened, and you can’t respond to anything before it happens.  Trying to do so is a wast of your resources.    


     Having your head unconsciously stuck in the past is the source of the pains of regret, guilt, and self reprimand.  When you think about what was and wish you could change it, you frustrate yourself because there is nothing you can do about it.  This wastes your energy and makes you feel like shit.  All negative emotions and negative states of mind are products of the past.  “This Happened,  therefore Now I feel this way.”  In actually this does not need to happen.  The past has no real control over your current state.  You give it control through memories.  The past does not effect your emotions, it is those memories of the past that effect them.  By placing your attention in the present you revoke the past’s control over your current state.  Reflex, learn from the past, don’t dwell, than let it go, it’s no longer real. 


     When your head is stuck in the future which is another timeframe that you have no control over you lose attention to the present moment, you become attached to outcomes that you perceive Should happen, and lose the flexibility needed to deal with what Is happening.  Fear and anxiety is the product of creating mental pictures of undesirable situations of what might happen  at some point in the future.  In the present moment, there is no way to form the concept of fear, worry or anxiety.  Paralyzing over analysis is when you create a map of the future that is so rigid that that no conscious action can guarantee it.  When you are overanalyzing you are to busy trying to control the future and not placing your attention on the moment at hand.  This limits your inner creativity that only exists in the present moment.  The result is you don’t act with proper timing that only come when you roll with the moment.  You act robotic and unnatural.  The future can serve as a target for goals, but you can’t program  the exact path of an arrow before you fire it.


     How do we cultivate presence?  Meditation is a great way to sharpen our presence.  Look up zen meditation techniques for a great jumping off point, but you can meditate while doing anything.  The still and silent form of meditation is just one kind, and is a great way to get a feel for it, but once you get the hang of it you can meditate while doing anything.  You can meditate while you eat, meditate while you read, while you run, lift weight, interact with others, and party it up at the club, whatever.  The only thing that is needed for meditation is your full attention on Here, and Now.  Do what ever you do with 100% of your consciousness and you are meditating.  Now what exactly makes you lose presence?  Do you ever here that little voice in your head?  Im sure you do, but you probably assume that that is just a part of you that is inevitable.  That voice is your Egoic mind.  It can’t function in the present moment, so when you hear that voice it is pulling your covering up your consciousness in the moment.  Next time you here that voice take notice of it.  The you that notices it is your consciousness.  Your consciousness and and Egoic mind can exist at the same time, so the moment that you take notice of it, it shuts off.  Guess what?  Now you are conscious and present in the moment.  You are in control of all your resources and you will be happy.  This is a simplification of philosophies of Eckhart Tolle.  I suggest that you read his books “The power of Now” and “A New Earth”.  Also watch the Guy Richie movie Revolver, which makes the concepts a little clearer by letting you visually see this happen.


     So in review, your assignments are to learn some meditation techniques and use them, observe the Egoic mind, pick up one of Tolle’s books (I personally think New earth is a little easier to understand), and Watch Revolver.


Have fun being present.


Peace;


Aristotle 
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Aristotle
 
GRATITUDE

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        Thanksgiving is coming around the corner so what a better time to strengthen your gratitude.  Gratitude and appreciation as stated earlier is what gives one an abundance mindset.  This makes you break attachment to outcomes, and allows you to approach any interaction with a feeling of contentment.  Gratitude is the cure for neediness and pain.  

        
         Love what you have.  I guarantee that if you take a step back and look at your life you can find tons of things to he grateful for.  You are able to read this so Im assuming that you have properly functioning eyes unlike the thousands of blind people in the world.  You have a computer, and a home so Im guessing you have the means to fulfill your basic needs of food water and shelter.  Hey you woke up this morning and saw that you were above ground so hey your fucking ALIVE!  Be thankful; everyday you wake up is a good day.  Look at how all your basic needs are fulfilled and how lucky you are to have all the amenities that you have.  Wealth is wanting what you have, it is not always having what you want.  In addition happiness is a chemical reaction that takes place in your brain.  The ability to be happy is already built into your biology, you decide when you use it by deciding how you want to interpret things.    
Now that you see how much you really have, ask your self “Do I really NEED anything else?”  You don’t NEED anything or any one!  Your cup is already full!  If you are able to cover your basic needs of food water and shelter, you are set.  Everything else you need to be happy and to have an enjoyable life is inside of you.  No person or external thing can do anything to increase your ability to feel happiness, because as I said earlier that is already built into your brain.

         Make a habit that every morning you wake up ask your self what you are thankful for.  Come up with at least 10 things.  Do just go through the motions either.  Really think about would life would be like with out these things.  Really feel the appreciation for your 10 things and let that feeling sit for a while.  In addition do this before you go to bed.  What were you thankful for that day?  Now when ever you approach a girl, think to your self “Do I NEED this girl?  What do I already have in my life that I happy about?  Can not having her some how take that away from me?”  “Sure it would be nice to have her but hey if not, it’s not really a big deal, I already have everything I need to be happy.”

        
         Have fun with your new attitude of gratitude, and see how much happier you are knowing that you have so much.  Also see the results you get when you approach knowing that you already have what you need to be happy.


Peace;


Aristotle  
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Aristotle
 
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         So has it occurred to anyone else that being attractive to women has less to do with being good with women, and more to do with being an awesome human being?  This is the idea that got me to move away from any form of tactics and techniques.  It even directed me away from things like trying to be an alpha male and what not.  I began to read up on things that would just help me become a better human being and had nothing to do with picking up women, and I created distinctions that opened my eyes to seeing some basic virtues that everyone should cultivate.  Through some contemplation things started to come together and I realized that everything that is attractive comes back down to these virtues.  By cultivating these virtues you can fix any problem you have with women, or any other facet of your life for that matter.  The following are the 5 virtues and what they translate to regarding game.  
5 Sacred Virtues of Game/Life 

1.)  Gratitude / appreciation = Abundance Mindset    

2.)  Presence / Consciousness = Not giving a fuck

3.)  Integrity = Following your core / having balls

4.)  Compassion = Giving value

5.)  Discipline = Right action

        Any problem or sticking point you have can be solved by strengthening 1 or more of these virtues.  These virtues work just the same as muscles.  As you condition them with practice they become stronger.  To build muscle you create tears in the muscle fibers by making them work against resistance, than you fill in those tears with protein that you obtain from your diet.  Increasing the strength of these virtues works in a similar way.  First you create tears in your old habits of ways of thinking and acting.  This is done by doing certain actions that break down weak parts of your current reality and ego so that you can rebuild it with stronger beliefs.  In this metaphor new empowering beliefs represent the protein that is used as the building material to expand and strengthen your virtues and create a more empowered reality.  If you went to the gym and lifted heavily and didn’t give your body the protein and nutrients that it needed to repair its self you would just be wasting your time.  Similarly if you try to force yourself into situations that break down old beliefs, but don’t feed yourself with new ones, you will just leave yours self with pain and uncertainty. 
        
         In following articles I will delve deeper into each of these virtues explaining more of what each one exactly means so that you will be provided with the understanding and beliefs that make growth possible and I will give you some exercises/activities to help condition you these virtues.  But until then just meditate on the idea that being an attractive to women comes down simply to being an awesome person.  Instead of being a “pick up artist” you are now a Virtuous Warrior of Life.     

Peace;

Aristotle
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Aristotle
 
"Live life in accordance to your intentions and you will construct a life that is unique and specific to you; the life you were meant to live. Live a life in accordance to your fears and your life will be a generic collection of what ifs”. Basically what it means is that if you listen to your desires and allow your intuition to guide you, you will get results that are congruent with what's going on inside of you. Your life situation will be one that you can fully CLAIM as your OWN because it is based on decisions that YOU made by following YOUR internal compass, and every thing that happened was a result of YOUR UNIQUE POWER OF EXISTANCE.

If you act in a way that is not fully congruent with what's going on deep down in your very fibers how much can you really say that the life your living is your own? Even if you avoid some “bad” results can you truly be happy knowing that you missed out on a piece of your life that was entitled to you; a unique piece that you could have used to grow and to create a glorious experience. I find it much more empowering to know that even if I mess up the consequences that I get to deal with are ones that I earned based on the MY INTENTIONS.

I say forget about trying to formulate and orchestrate every detail in your life. I say focus on taking control of whom you are and letting your actions and decisions be fully rooted in your core, then all the results will take care of themselves. That’s all I can really do. Life is uncertain, but I can make sure I am who I want to be and what ever happens from there is another UNIQUE piece in the story of MY life.

To live a life lead by my internal compass, my desires, my intentions, is to write the story that only I can, the story of MY life that comes from the depths of my being, from the very same indescribable energy that flows through me and gives me life. When I think of that it really drives me to act on my intentions and follow my core because no matter what happens, I am building MY LIFE. "Good results" or "Bad results" they are the stones that are vital to creating the unique masterpiece that is my life.

It truly is a spectacular power that we have; the power to shape our life by our actions. Allow YOUR LIFE to flow out from the depths of your soul and you can know YOU LIVED.

Peace;

Aristotle

P.S.  I recomend you read this along with my other blog entry, "A logical argument for not thinking" because I feel they tie in very will together and each gives eachother a little more meaning.
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Aristotle
 
When all is said and done, more is said than done."  ~Lou Holtz~
          
Most people spend to much time thinking and not enough time doing.  People get caught up in trying to plot their way through everything and figure out the best and safest plan before they take any action.  Logic is the monster here that holds one in indecision and eats away at their time and opportunities.  Logic is what lets you allow that complete hottie walk by with out doing a thing.  I say FUCK LOGIC!  Lets just act and face the results.  Before we throw out logic allow me to present some logical reasoning as to why logic is over rated.




1.)  Most decisions we make in life are relatively inconsequential in the long run.
       - Thinking to much on such things would is inefficient use of time
2.) Shot Gun theory: Less thinking = making faster decisions = Taking more actions
       - More action = more results = more + results & more - results
             a.) + results:  It's self explanatory why this is good.  In Addition you will get more references          on how to reproduce these results.
             b.) - results: -It's a little less obvious why this is good, but the more negative results you get          the more you learn about what causes them and you learn how to avoid them thus          increasing your learning speed.  All references you get are good.  
                  -In addition most mistakes that you can make can easily and quickly be fixed.  You                   will probably spend more time trying to use logic to  create a positive result than you will          creating a negative result than fixing it  after the fact. 
              -In time you will have enough positive and negative references to realize key distinctions         that will allow you to produce more positive results more  consistently.
3.) Pistol approach:  More thinking = more hesitation = slower action = less action =    less results =          less + & - references = slower learning curve.




Now tell me what do you want in a gun fight, a pistol or a shotgun?  Obviously this has it's applications in pick-up but it can also be applied to any other area in life where you want to experience rapid improvement.  Remember, results wether you want to label them positive or negative, are results, and results are progress.




Peace;




Aristotle
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