The Intellect Manifesto

Anu~
 
I seem to be hitting new levels of low recently. This field report is going to be kept short because I don't feel like writing much today. But this must be written for my own learning experience. Maybe I'll look back on this day someday and laugh...but today there is no laughter.

Last night was going okay, not very eventful. I was approaching and being proactive but no real notable interactions - bar one.

My greatest epiphany of the night came when I did something that I have never done before in my life in the game. I actively lied to a girl. This wasn't exaggerated hyperbole or trying to impress her in some way. It was just an outright lie. The crux of the lie is unimportant. The fact that I did it at all is unnerving.

In the end she found out I was lying, demonstrating the vast amounts of incongruency I was exhbiting, and all I could think about was to run out of there.

I know at the end of it all, the fact that I lost the girl doesn't really matter. I'm not beating myself up about that. But the fact that I resorted to a lie at all is what pisses me off. There is nothing wrong with who I am, and there is no need for anything but my genuine self to shine through.
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