The Intellect Manifesto

Anu~
 
Teeming with fury....

That's the only description I can come up with to describe my emotions when I woke up this morning. A blood-red rage clouded my vision. And the anger was directed at noone but myself. As a result of my ire, I had one of those days when nothing seems to go your way. I woke up late, missed breakfast, missed my morning jog, hit every red light on the way to work, and couldn't find parking for a long time when I got there. On a more positive note however, I was able to attack my work with such a furious concentration that I was able to break through certain barriers I had hit.

I have calmed down now, and looking back on it my anger was probably misplaced and somewhat disturbing (I don't get that angry that easily, or particularly like to).

And all of it is because of the last 3 nights....

Last night I went out to another backpacker's place in Sydney called World Bar. The night was going great. Lots of people I know there. The previous two nights had been...confusing...and I was looking forward to a good night out on this night.

And then who should turn up once more but the 4-set from the previous two nights. As soon as I saw them I knew they spelt doom. My mind conjured up visions of 4 hooded skeletals with reapers' sickles, riding stallions sired in the stables of Lucifer.

Fuck..shit...fuck...they saw me....fuck...my target's coming up to me....now she's hugging me....I've picked her up....she's got her legs wrapped around me....hey maybe she's into me....maybe I'll try to work this set again tonight....

fuck. FUCK. FUCK!!!!!!!

It was the same shit all over again. Rather than stating my intentions from the beginning when I should have I just kept interacting in a friends' manner with all of them.

I kept going into the friends' zone continuously with all of them. And once more I started getting attraction signals from all of them. They all wanted a photo with me. They bought me drinks and started doing shots with me. But I wanted to get my target separate from them and alone with me.

I managed to isolate my girl and move her around but didn't go for the makeout for a long time. But every time I did this she would go running back. I managed to get a makeout from her later on in the night, but once that was done she quickly ran back to the group. On the dancefloor, she would start grinding against me and then if I went for the makeout she would just turn her head away. This occured several times.

Eventually I just got sick of this shit. I mean I know they say persistence, but there's persistence and there's just plain stupidity. In the end, I just felt like they were stringing me along. I mean they didn't ask anything of me but I was starting to feel too chode while I was with them.

Plus I wasn't approaching.....I found myself alone a few times when the girls went to the toilet, and rather than approaching then I just stood there thinking "What would they think if I was approaching other girls. I might lose them! Better just stand here."

Fuck. Me.

I finished the night with vamana alone again. I feel that this night has affected me more than it should due to the string of successes I have had recently. Well let's hope it has made me stronger.

So clear goals to target from this night:
- If you're girls have gone to the toilet or have separated from you in some way, you need to approach other girls. Don't give a fuck what they think.
- State your intentions from the get go. Sexuality can come verbally as well as physically.
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