Antihero's Blog

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

I decide to hang out with my cousin for dinner on Saturday night. She is a very extroverted person, shows me a lot of love, and we always have a good time. However, she does like to go out to a lot of places in the hood. With that being said, I find this to be a fun experience and it’s never as pretentious as any of the bars at the beach or downtown. So I’m cool with it, and I’m ready to go.

Initially we head to go eat at a chain restaurant where people are already in the swing of things. I feel a bit self-conscious because my cousin, who’s a chick, is very tall, even for a dude - 6’6” to be exact, and objectively quite good looking. Everybody in the bar stares at her when she walks in, and I have to maintain a solid state and good body language throughout it. From a rational perspective, this is excellent in developing my social pressure skills, and so I should pat myself for rolling with the punches. In any case, I feel in a chill mood as we decide to eat food at another venue.

This venue is sort of like a dance club/dive bar complete with live music from the 70’s and 80’s and an ‘older crowd’ (to put it nicely) to boot. We begin eating and crowd-watching, and I quickly ascertain that all of my cousins friends are older than me and married; there is a guy (meaning a husband) for every chick. This a bit disheartening, although I tell myself that this is no excuse for not putting my game on full-tilt and going to the dancefloor to get things rocking.

Just as I decide this, a few other women come and merge with the group. They are clearly single - one of them is dressed so her tits look like they are practically about to pop out of the dress at any second. I find her sufficiently hot enough to begin to get a little nervous, but, as always, I take RSD Alexander’s advice and operate in the “it’s fine” frame. These women are also straight hood and very straightforward in the way they speak and look around. Busty girl asks me a couple questions, but appears to be snapping at me more than actually curious as to my answers.

I commend myself for what happens next. I quickly decide that busty girl’s outwardly hostile demeanor and tonality are simply a classic “bitch-shield” in disguise, and that if I can demonstrate a cool, calm, and unfazed frame around her antics, I can game her.

I turn out to be absolutely correct. After another hostile question from her, I pop out with, “Where are you from??” in a good mixture of curiosity and qualifying tonality. She says, curtly, “Here”. I go on - “Oh, okay, ‘cause I’m from the East Coast and you Californians have a very specific way of speaking...” Shortly after that, we were off to the races.

I was patient throughout the night, not intensely looking at her or following her, however I was quick to notice if she locked eyes with me over the other side of the table. A common behavior I’ve noticed that people do when they are interested in someone (male or female), is when they get up from a table, or are about to leave, they will look at their ‘target’ to see if there is a reaction. I do this, she did it, we all do it as some point. Either way, I caught her doing it, stayed cool, and proceeded through the night. Over the course of the night, she made several “statements of intent” as we’d say in the community, and I was proud to recognize them as such.

The biggest such statement was when she was going to look for her friends who had apparently disappeared into the fog of dancing barfolk. After a small discussion between her and my cousin, busty girl simply says, “Come on, get up and let’s go”. I decide this is an acceptable hoop to jump given other signs I’d seen. We walk through the crowd, and eventually we stop in the dance floor for no clear reason. She grabs my hand, as well as the hand of an obstacle who had come along with us, and simply holds it for about 30 seconds as she talks to the obstacle. I know in my mind what is happening, and I damn sure do NOT let go of her hand. Eventually she finishes talking to the obstacle, and I use twirl move on her in the dance floor, which gets an appreciative smile before I give her a hug. It worked well, and the attraction frame is already set, however in hindsight I could have done more.

Towards the end of the night, I’m talking to one of my cousin’s friends and decide to go for the number-close. I go with the old classic I made up, “I’d kick myself in the head if I didn’t ask for your number before the end of the night. You should give it to me”. She looks slightly skeptical, and says, “Why?” in a shit-test kind of way.

Luckily, I feel so confident (and doubtful that I’ll see her again ANYWAY) that I answer matter-of-factly, “...because I think you’re cute and I’d like to talk to you outside of a loud-ass bar”. She nods approvingly and we exchange numbers.

I don’t know what will come of this, however I will say that it was both a fun night and confidence-building night. I was patient, clear-headed, and took many of the opportunities presented to me. I hope that this becomes the baseline norm some time in the future.

+ “It’s fine” bracket FTW!!!
+ Recognized a bitch-shield for what it was, and calibrated
+ Tonality was spot-on in the warm open of target
+ Recognized a hardline kino IOI and upped the ante a bit
+ Went for the fuckin’ number... didn’t puss out

- Should have done A LOT more after getting such a clear IOI signal as HER kino-escalating me
- At times I was too quiet waiting for the social momentum of others to build up
- Should have opened more sets around the actual venue

As always,
Keep the faith and beware of darkness...

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