Antihero's Blog

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

I decide to hang out with my cousin for dinner on Saturday night. She is a very extroverted person, shows me a lot of love, and we always have a good time. However, she does like to go out to a lot of places in the hood. With that being said, I find this to be a fun experience and it’s never as pretentious as any of the bars at the beach or downtown. So I’m cool with it, and I’m ready to go.

Initially we head to go eat at a chain restaurant where people are already in the swing of things. I feel a bit self-conscious because my cousin, who’s a chick, is very tall, even for a dude - 6’6” to be exact, and objectively quite good looking. Everybody in the bar stares at her when she walks in, and I have to maintain a solid state and good body language throughout it. From a rational perspective, this is excellent in developing my social pressure skills, and so I should pat myself for rolling with the punches. In any case, I feel in a chill mood as we decide to eat food at another venue.

This venue is sort of like a dance club/dive bar complete with live music from the 70’s and 80’s and an ‘older crowd’ (to put it nicely) to boot. We begin eating and crowd-watching, and I quickly ascertain that all of my cousins friends are older than me and married; there is a guy (meaning a husband) for every chick. This a bit disheartening, although I tell myself that this is no excuse for not putting my game on full-tilt and going to the dancefloor to get things rocking.

Just as I decide this, a few other women come and merge with the group. They are clearly single - one of them is dressed so her tits look like they are practically about to pop out of the dress at any second. I find her sufficiently hot enough to begin to get a little nervous, but, as always, I take RSD Alexander’s advice and operate in the “it’s fine” frame. These women are also straight hood and very straightforward in the way they speak and look around. Busty girl asks me a couple questions, but appears to be snapping at me more than actually curious as to my answers.

I commend myself for what happens next. I quickly decide that busty girl’s outwardly hostile demeanor and tonality are simply a classic “bitch-shield” in disguise, and that if I can demonstrate a cool, calm, and unfazed frame around her antics, I can game her.

I turn out to be absolutely correct. After another hostile question from her, I pop out with, “Where are you from??” in a good mixture of curiosity and qualifying tonality. She says, curtly, “Here”. I go on - “Oh, okay, ‘cause I’m from the East Coast and you Californians have a very specific way of speaking...” Shortly after that, we were off to the races.

I was patient throughout the night, not intensely looking at her or following her, however I was quick to notice if she locked eyes with me over the other side of the table. A common behavior I’ve noticed that people do when they are interested in someone (male or female), is when they get up from a table, or are about to leave, they will look at their ‘target’ to see if there is a reaction. I do this, she did it, we all do it as some point. Either way, I caught her doing it, stayed cool, and proceeded through the night. Over the course of the night, she made several “statements of intent” as we’d say in the community, and I was proud to recognize them as such.

The biggest such statement was when she was going to look for her friends who had apparently disappeared into the fog of dancing barfolk. After a small discussion between her and my cousin, busty girl simply says, “Come on, get up and let’s go”. I decide this is an acceptable hoop to jump given other signs I’d seen. We walk through the crowd, and eventually we stop in the dance floor for no clear reason. She grabs my hand, as well as the hand of an obstacle who had come along with us, and simply holds it for about 30 seconds as she talks to the obstacle. I know in my mind what is happening, and I damn sure do NOT let go of her hand. Eventually she finishes talking to the obstacle, and I use twirl move on her in the dance floor, which gets an appreciative smile before I give her a hug. It worked well, and the attraction frame is already set, however in hindsight I could have done more.

Towards the end of the night, I’m talking to one of my cousin’s friends and decide to go for the number-close. I go with the old classic I made up, “I’d kick myself in the head if I didn’t ask for your number before the end of the night. You should give it to me”. She looks slightly skeptical, and says, “Why?” in a shit-test kind of way.

Luckily, I feel so confident (and doubtful that I’ll see her again ANYWAY) that I answer matter-of-factly, “...because I think you’re cute and I’d like to talk to you outside of a loud-ass bar”. She nods approvingly and we exchange numbers.

I don’t know what will come of this, however I will say that it was both a fun night and confidence-building night. I was patient, clear-headed, and took many of the opportunities presented to me. I hope that this becomes the baseline norm some time in the future.

+ “It’s fine” bracket FTW!!!
+ Recognized a bitch-shield for what it was, and calibrated
+ Tonality was spot-on in the warm open of target
+ Recognized a hardline kino IOI and upped the ante a bit
+ Went for the fuckin’ number... didn’t puss out

- Should have done A LOT more after getting such a clear IOI signal as HER kino-escalating me
- At times I was too quiet waiting for the social momentum of others to build up
- Should have opened more sets around the actual venue

As always,
Keep the faith and beware of darkness...

0 Comments | 1,862 Views
 Friday, March 15th, 2013

After talking to my wing on the phone quite a long time before we went out, I was slightly in my head because it seemed he was in a bad mood and/or mad at me about something. I was able to stop my negative self-talk, however, and realize it probably had nothing to do with me, but rather something internally he was going through on his own time. This is an important lesson/mentality to develop in the game, and I was glad I was hip to it rather early: when you think someone is annoyed, it usually has nothing to do with you, but rather something for them internally. As predicted, he later informed me he was coming off of a fever and was finding it hard to stay motivated.

We arrive at the venue and I feel the ‘nerves’, however perhaps not as intensely as I had thought before. I open a tall Asian chick walking by pretty early in the night, however my nervousness doesn’t subside much after this. Unfortunately, I again succumb to the “avoid 2 and 3-sets” mentality and end up choding A LOT longer than I would have liked. Very disappointing.

The best (and only real notable) set came from a cute 7.5 walking by me as I was looking around. I opened quickly and assertively, and after a simple hello, I said “No, wait, stop... don’t leave... I’ll be sad” (Credit: RSD Tim). She laughed and actually stood there for a second as I tried to get a coherent sentence out of my shock for her instant IOI. She brought her friend along and I simply said to both that I thought my target was cute. The bad news is that after this I had little to say, and they scurried away. In any case, I was proud of the fact I remembered the girl’s name very quickly (sober game FTW), actually pushed a little bit more through the interaction, and stood my ground when the friend came by - not long enough, but doing it at all was extremely important. I must say that I was inspired to push through a little harder after the “Hi!” due to watching a Justin Wayne PUA video where he gets a kiss-close in the day-time.

The rest of the night was slow by our group’s standards, and I ended up with only 4 opened sets. I must learn to not follow the other guy’s leads when it comes to a night out. I have the energy, excitement, and interest to be a leader for our group (and the game in general); there is no reason I should succumb to their own doubts about the definition of a good night - WE make it a good night... We are the music as Alexander would say.

Lastly, I must take note not to drink too much Red Bull when gaming; not simply because it will become an anchor, but additionally for the fact it such a powerful ‘drug’ (i.e., filled with caffeine and all this other destructive shit), that I may not be learning exactly how my ‘self’ is when in the field. Take heed.

+ Pushed a little bit harder in the set
+ No drinking during the game
+ Continuing with consistency of going out
+ When I was hesitant, I just went direct - a very smart and clear idea.

- Red Bull developing as an anchor? Possible
- Only 4 total sets, hesitated too often
- Still avoid 2 and 3-sets
- Succumbed to the ‘it’s slow’ mentality

Until next time.

Keep the faith, and beware of darkness.

2 Comments | 397 Views
Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Well, this Day 2 was, to put it lightly, an adventurous encounter. To add a quick back-story before my ‘exposition’, I met a girl outside of a well known club in town after the venue let out for the night. I opened her by basically telling her to eat a hotdog I was holding (this was back when I drank heavily - liquid courage), and began running game on her. It turns out we are from the same town originally (this is becoming a theme), and we exchanged numbers, talked a bit after, etc. She is pretty hot I must say, probably a California 8 or so. I could tell I was noticeably older than her, but this only came out later on - on this day 2 to be specific.

After dealing with several weeks of varying levels of flakage, I finally manage to get her to solidify a hang-out on a Friday. All seemed right with the world, and I plan to organize my weekend around one good night of gaming, and one good night of Day 2’ing... or something like that. In any case, this afternoon she texts me to see what I’m doing and says we should hang out. I try to get a read on what kind of place she would like to go, however both she and I are new in town and she has nothing to offer. Finally I just go alpha and suggest we go to the first bar I ever went to in this city - a semi-fratty but upbeat bar with good deals. She is down and I make my way towards the venue.

On the way there, she texts that she “ran into a friend on the street and she wants to come along”. This does not surprise me given the fact I have not built much comfort with her yet and, of course, we met outside of a club. I could be an axe-murderer for all she knows. Girls tend to have this logic, and frankly, I don’t blame them, us guys can be weird sometimes. Anyway, I don’t think much of it and I’m in a good mood as I walk in the venue.

The first unexpected variable arises immediately after I walk through the door - it’s country-and-western night in this place, and it is dead. And by country-and-western I mean literally like 10 people are line-dancing in the middle of the dance floor to some old song! Dear Lord Christ, I think, I hope these girls aren’t uptight.

Well, per my luck, of course they are, haha. The minute I sit down they comment on how “hot it is” in the venue. It isn’t at all, but I understand that metaphorically it means this place sucks, haha. I try to deflect and change the subject, although I can already feel that her buying temperature is extremely low, especially in relation to the fact that hanging out tonight was her idea. To make matters worse, her friend is extremely strange and looks like a Latina Amy Winehouse -- grotesque tattoos and all. I try to engage her by asking if they go to the same school, and the girl simply says, “NO’ before staring at me in a weird Vulcan Mind Meld sort of way. This scenario is so awkward that both my target and I laugh, and I try to move on.

The flow of conversation is slow and arduous. I tell DHV stories to try to excite the nature of the interaction, and she would simply say, “Yeah, cool, awesome”, and then stare around. The awkwardness is palatable. Furthermore, she continuously texts throughout the night, and considering I have an iPhone, I can recognizing she is literally texting back and forth. Ego hit to the Nth degree. I could hear RSD Alexander’s voice in my head the whole time, “Just stay in the ‘it’s fine’ bracket... time and duration equals attraction... there’s no reason I’m not enough” and so on and so forth, which definitely helps, although I have to say I was still bewildered by the entire endeavor. At some point I discover she is 19 years old, seven years younger than me... WTF? I don’t have a visibly strong reaction to the news, however it becomes hard not to make many negs on the age difference... and also not feel like an old man creeping on the young’ns!

Somehow I try to appear untroubled by all this, and I continue to run through things to talk about. Luckily, the strange friend gets up and starts dancing (giving us isolation), and my target comments that her friend is absolutely wasted. I was a little shocked, as I thought her friend was just being weird, and say, “Really??” to which target says, “You couldn’t notice?!” and I nod understandingly. Periodically, she would play an odd form of footsie with me where she would tap my feet under the table a little bit, almost like a peculiar form of kino. At one point I say something clever and she gives me the “middle school nudge” with her foot, an indicator of interest, however she would then withdraw immediately thereafter. This lead me to be quite confused most of the night, not sure if I was in attraction, comfort, or continuously blowing myself and she was just there for validation and drinks. In hindsight I think I appeared as “regular” as possible about the entire cat-and-mouse game, however often being “regular” or just “cool” doesn’t seal the deal.

The best part of the night was when I pulled out a game of the ol’ “Fuck Marry Kill” from the days of yore. She took to this VERY well, and began to not look at her phone (a good sign). Quite naturally, when it came to the “fuck” part I said I’d fuck her, which she seemed to take to pretty well. In any case, we then went to “10 things I love 10 things I hate” a game I made up from an interview I once saw. This was successful but not as successful as the first, and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. After she returns I get up and go to the restroom myself.

What occurred next is the most perplexing part of the evening, although if I’m being honest I think in general this was the nail in the coffin for the night. After I return from taking a piss, she has left the table we were sitting and gone to sit with drunk friend, who has leaned against a guy in a booth. The guy seems chill although I couldn’t see if he was a stranger trying to fuck her, or there for ‘protection’. In any case, target is just sitting there doing nothing really, and it really does seem like they were attempting to blow me out, which might be the case - we’ll see how the rest of this goes in a few days from now. I sit down in the booth for a few minutes, and no one is really saying anything... again, extremely awkward and I look at the clock. 1:10am. I have class the next day. I decide at some point to just say “fuck it” and I get up and leave after receiving a very slight and thoughtless hug from target. Sigh.

I hail a cab back to my place and think about what I learned. The most important thing I gleaned from this is actually a positive - this is a reference experience. I learned more about myself and girls in this 3-hour interaction than months of video-blogs, or even opening a bunch of sets with simply a “Hi!” in-field. This is the nitty-gritty, the war zone, or as Justin Timberlake as Sean Parker in The Social Network says, “[This is] life in the NFL”. This is big leagues, man, and sometimes the hits can hurt.

+ Actually showed up and pulled the trigger
+ Endured through extreme social awkwardness
+ Did not get reactive or qualify myself very much
+ Pulled out a couple good games for rapport
+ And the end of the day I learned a metric fuckton tonight.

- Became “permission” boy... waited for permission to do most things
- Let the environment (drunk friend, shitty bar) overwhelm me
- Should have left an hour earlier
- Should probably just cut this girl off in general
- Wasted too much money buying her drinks

As always,
Keep the faith and beware of darkness...

0 Comments | 308 Views
Saturday, March 9th, 2013

First and foremost I’d like to start this by saying rest in peace to Christopher Wallace, also known as The Notorious B.I.G. who died 16 years ago today.

With that being said, whew going back to gaming while drinking SUCKS after you’ve had a taste of sober game, I don’t know why people prefer it. Maybe I’m new enough at gaming sober that it holds the allure that gaming did in the first place did way back when in 2007. In any case, I went out ‘on the lash’ with a few friends last night to a hotel party. It was very packed, filled with “the beautiful people” as The Beatles might say, and stepping in, I thought this would actually be a piece of cake.

Of course it being a nice hotel filled with the young, fly, and flashy, this was not so much the case; first off many of the actually good looking women were at tables or exclusive bars out on the patio. Waiting for them to come to and from the ‘VIP’ would have been an exercise in futility, and furthermore they would just be descending down to us “peasants” in the regular bar to go to the bathroom or smoke a cigarette or something.

In any case, the first negative of the evening came from, of course, ordering a drink at the bar - that shit took 30 minutes of gaming time away, plus I got in a very aggravated mood as it seemed everyone in front of me wanted to order the most complex concoctions. Not good. I had completed a few “Hi!” openers prior to this, however my state was completed deflated.

At some point, a few of mine friends decide to take a shot, one of my buddy says he can’t finish his drink, and so I should ask the 3-set near us to finish his shot for him. I do, but one of the chicks say “I don’t take drinks from strangers”, which makes total sense and I say as much. Somehow, they open rather readily, however, and I begin a long conversation with a chick I’m not very attracted to, but I attempt to game.

Of course my ‘interview mode’ comes out again and I lose the attraction rather quickly; we study the same field and rather than ‘spicing up’ the interaction by changing the subject, I end up discussing some books we both enjoy - way to friend zone the whole situation, Antihero! In addition, I was not into her that much, but this is a lousy excuse to run solid game, and furthermore it should actually be a GOOD excuse to try some silly stuff, since I care little for the outcome.

We venue bounce and I open a 2-set sitting down who seem to like me. I make a joke about one being a “ginger” and they become furious, LOL. I didn’t know it was a such an insult, I thought it was more like a funny thing to say... Whoops.

Lastly we end in a strip club where I attempt to game a stripper to little success. Somehow (ahem, drinking) I end up getting reactive and it does NOT end well - she walks away.

Long story short, the problem tonight was the drinking. It slowed down my focus on momentum, it made it hard to remember what happened, and I was taking uncalculated risks rather than building my state from within. I do NOT like the idea of doing this again.

+ Opened a 3-set
+ Another long set interaction
+ At least TRIED to say something provocative

- Drinking at all
- Drinking too much
- Not maintaining state
- OPENING WITH A NEG?? Rookie move
- Did not walk around to pursue sets

Until next time,
Keep the faith and beware of darkness.

The Antihero
0 Comments | 1,893 Views
Friday, March 8th, 2013

Two wings and I roll out to bars on the beach for Friday night (this is becoming a habit), and I am pumped if a bit nervous. A friend of mine is staying at my house and so rather than going on a hike on Friday afternoon (as I did before), I have just been freestyling in my room with the guy, trying to get in state. In any case, I feel confident enough to throw my hand down for the evening. My goal is to get 5 “Hi’s!” out of the way quickly as to remove that shitty “gnawing” feeling of fear that comes up quicker and quicker as you stand and chode around the bar.

Outside of the first bar, my wing opens a good looking two-set walking by with a high five, and they are receptive. This eases my early jitters and I find an absolutely gorgeous three-set walking by to another club, and proceed to give them a nice loud “Hiiii!” They are pretty shocked and barely acknowledge it, however. I still feel good about this because these girls were model status (even for California) so I feel like I’m playing at NFL level, at least.

I learn very quickly that in the future, I need to be the first one to open in our crew if I hope to be a leader; often when we are in the club I am waiting for another wing to start walking forward or opening sets, rather than taking initiative myself. This is absolute horse shit, and not to mention if I can’t expect to lead my male wing-friends, how the HELL will I lead a HB9-10 stunner? It doesn’t make sense. I need to reboot and take on a King Frame as Alexander would say.

One of the more interesting (if disjointed) interactions comes with my 2nd ‘Hi!’ of the night. We are standing to the side in the venue, and a very attractive 8ish girl walks by slowly, clearly lost. I open her, and she asks how to get outside, but she is so open to being gamed we actually exchange a few words before she leaves. The MINUTE she leaves, I realize I should have made her jump a hoop or two, and my wing points out I could have hugged her and done girlfriend routine shit... The good news about this set is that she was cute as hell, seemed to be on board with what I was selling, and most importantly, I realized VERY quickly what I should have done... basically my reaction time is getting cut down. I enjoy that feeling.

I open a fugly chick sitting by herself to get my 3rd Hi of the evening; I’ve been inside 10 minutes and already have three... woohoo, America Fuck Yeah.

A two set is walking by and a girl is wearing pink. I open with the most chode thing imaginable, “Is that ‘salmon’ or pink??” She says, “Pink.” And my mind hesitates, realizing that was a terrible line. She walks away but her friend immediately comes up to me and says, “Nice try, lol”. Ironically the friend seems to be more interested than her friend in a conversation and is initially attracted. I begin by DHVing and shit, to which she ask more questions, but then I get into “interview mode”... not the best feeling. She asks why I’m not drinking and I make up some bullshit story on the spot. It rings as incongruent (because I know I’m lying for no reason other than to qualify and not ‘stick out’), and it jumbles the natural flow of the conversation. I think in the back of my mind I should be kino’ing or doing spin move or girlfriend routine, but I don’t do it because I’m choding... I guess I’m ‘waiting for her permission’ through her body language and tonality, which of course never occurs. She eventually gets bored and of course, my mind doesn’t “give me the manual”, to quote The Blueprint Decoded. Additionally, I need to practice looking directly at her when I’m talking to her, I would constantly look away while thinking of ‘what to say’; doesn’t look/feel very alpha let me tell you.
Ironically, the best thing about the set happens towards the end when I realize she doesn’t like me anymore; I begin self-amusing and pointing out girls who will be my “future ex-wife”, and comment how there is a long line of women who want to collect alimony payments from me, lol. My wing laughs hysterically although the girl is only mildly amused. I don’t care.

The last notable set was a tall model-looking chick standing by herself. The best part of this was that she was SO hot (probably a California 8.5-9) that even opening her was a success for me. You see, I’m trying to confirm in my brain what I already believe - there’s no reason I can’t get models, dimes, whatever you want to call it... I just mean REAL hot chicks. This mentality is a variation on Alexander’s “There’s no reason I’m not enough” paradigm, and I believe it wholeheartedly. The problem is of course my “mind” is currently blocking me from accepting this new mindset, and so I must practice presenting myself with the cold hard evidence. This chick and I discuss her hometown for a while (I’m going there in a few weeks for the first time), and all is well (maybe not sexual, but she seemed to be enjoying the convo) until a large hairy hand grabs her shoulder from behind me and I see she has a boyfriend who looks like he could be a power forward for the Houston Rockets. I say a cordial farewell and keep it moving, haha.

The rest of the night is filled with “Hi!” openers here and there; I see that I must begin to practice saying “Hi!” and doing a shoulder touch to open with kino. When it’s all said and done, I end the night with 11. Not too shabby.

+ My reaction time for "ideas" in-set is speeding up
+ Didn't drink
+ Opened an absolute stunner with mild success
+ Forced myself to continue plowing through an awkward set
+ Natural self-amusement actually showed up!

- Have to look target IN THE EYE more often
- Was too scared to open 2-sets consistently
- Got too tired too quickly (stopped opening after like 1AM)
- Need to be the FIRST man to open on the night... LEAD YO' SELF MOFO!!!


Keep the faith and beware the darkness, 

The Antihero
0 Comments | 1,908 Views
The sentiment here is quite similar to Tyler's old "happiness is a default state" posts, but it is absolutely 100% correct.

Value is the natural state of your being, self, activity, whatever you wish to call it.

It's on YOU to actually remove it, block it, diminish it, doubt it, etc. etc.

The only way to lower your value is make decisions that delete it, and believe you me, we all do it... usually every day.

10 common ways to block your natural state of being, the natural 'way you are', which is indeed value -

1. Alcohol
2. Drugs (this includes overconsumption of caffeine or sugar... yes coffee and soda count)
3. Jerking it to the point you don't have a natural sex drive
4. Beating yourself up about shit out of your control (very commonly, mistakes you made in set the night before, the hour before, or even the minute before... the past is past, bro)
5. Doubting yourself about things out of your control (technically, you can open any set you like to, it just comes down to doubt or fear... very rarely is it situationally impossible)
6. Hating on other people (this is a MASSIVE and usually not mentioned)
7. Idol worship (if you think that Kobe Bryan is 'cooler' than you, that is idol worship. No he is not, he's just a better basketball player than you)
8. Thinking that you can't date 10s/models... you absolutely can, it just takes practice and patience.
9. Handing over your belief system to someone else but trusting another person's opinions more than your own (this includes too much faith in everything an RSD instructor says, too much faith in religion, trying to create your life in the image of a musician or movie star you respect, etc.)
10. Not doing things that make you feel uncomfortable out of fear (i.e., applying for a job better than you think you can get, hitting on a chick you think is out of your league, going on a hike, learning a language, reading a book, not watching Mob Wives, etc.)

I've been guilty of many of these things myself, and continue to be at times, but the point is to remember VALUE IS THE NATURAL WAY OF BEING.

You start EVERY morning with 100% VALUE. It's on YOU to fuck it up.

When you truly believe this in your core, life begins to change for the better.
2 Comments | 436 Views
 Sunday, March 3rd, 2013

I get up early, excited to hit an outdoor bazaar/farmer’s market one of my wings suggests for day-game. According to him, this place is swarming with hot (like model-level) tail, so I’m ready for the challenge, however as it gets later and later in the day (the 3rd wing was quite late), and the weather is less than ideal, I begin to see this is not going to be a top-notch level target-rich day.

We arrive about 2:30pm and it is both chilly and overcast, which in California is equal to rain in other places. The venue has quite a few chicks, however not as many as my wing expects. Despite this fact, there are certainly enough roaming sets to get my 5 “Hi!” openers in. Unfortunately, I chode for a massive amount of time, at least by my standards, and I don’t get my first “Hi!” in until about an hour deep into the bazaar.

The open comes as a Latino looking woman in her late 20’s-early 30’s walks by my wing and I, and I blurt out a half-hearted “Hi!” to her. She looks for a second, and says an equally meek greeting in return without stopping. My wing and I begin laughing, and no one around seems to notice. This is a good thing because it solidifies in my head that even if you get ‘blown out’ or ‘rejected’ in public, even in the day, it is unlikely any strangers nearby will react or have anything to say about it.

My second “Hi!” opener comes from a very attractive brunette walking by as our group is heading out. I actually raise my hand up this time, and say it with a bit more force. She responds respectfully but keeps walking. With that being said, I feel better and more relaxed internally even by those two small openers.

The last set of the day comes from a group of women looking at a funny sign written on a bench for sale. I joke that I wish I had made the bench (extremely chode joke), and they chuckle a bit, but little comes of it. In any case, I count it as an open because it was a vocal attempt at being social and it was loud enough to get their attention.

We roll out to Starbucks, however there are not many sets to be had. Eventually we decide to leave, however I can feel in my body that I’d still like to open, being out in the field, and focused on pickup, even though I spent a massive amount of time this weekend choding around.

This makes me consider Tyler’s discussion of “Short-Term vs. Long-Term Mating Strategies”. Even despite the fact I did not do a MASSIVE amount of socializing, my mind was wired to focus on my state, being outwardly expressive, controlling frame, etc. all weekend. It was hard last night to focus on homework, the coming week, etc. because I was in Short-Term romp mode. In truth, I believe that this feeling only reared its head when drinking or partying the whole weekend, but now I see it is truly something that must be managed even in sober contexts, as is the case with Tyler. My mind state is a very malleable force, and depending on if my focus is internal or external, it may be hard to make the shift back to the other one.

+ Managed to not completely chode out on day game
+ Didn't simply do a "Hi!" opener, actually freestyled something situational
+ Kept state stable and positive
+ Recognized that I was in "Short-Term" mode and adjusted accordingly
+ Dealt with a new environment - a part of town I had never been to

- I let WAY too many sets pass by - could have EASILY have 5 "Hi" openers
- Waited too long to open my first set
- Perhaps should have talked to shopkeepers as well? 

Keep the faith and beware of darkness, 

The Antihero
0 Comments | 312 Views
Saturday, March 2nd, 2013

My wing brings a friend with him (who is familiar with pickup, but still in AFC mode) when we go out tonight. In the car on the way to the bars, we banter and listen to music. The friend strikes me as socially well-adjusted and funny. My state is pumped! I’m feeling good and calm. In addition, I’ve found that if I freestyle (a hobby of mine) as I’m showering and getting ready to go out, my mind is active, my state is up, and I feel more like the man on a mission. I will keep this in mind in the future.
We arrive at the first venue and as we wait in line, a chick in a mixed 2-set (with some dude, but he is clearly not her boyfriend) starts talking with us. She is SMOKING hot so of course everyone in line is watching this go down, and lo and behold, I recognize her accent as being from the same city as I grew up in... we start going back and forth and it turns out we both went to schools very close to each other. The bouncer pipes in making jokes (because clearly this girl is beginning to IOI), but more in a jovial way. The guy she is with is full-on chode and doesn’t say anything. In hindsight, I should have said, “Is this your boyfriend?” 1) to see if she was available to game and 2) The word “this” instead of “he” is a nice subtle way of controlling the frame, I think. Not to be a dick, but hey all’s fair in love and war!!

My goal, yet again, was simply 5 “Hi!” openers since I’m just easing back into the game, and learning sober game. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say. The first “hi” goes by uneventfully; the second was me breaking into my college’s “chant” with a large group wearing our jerseys after a win. There are a few dudes in the group I begin talking to, but oddly enough a girl pops up out of the group an exclaims “We like you!” to which I say, “I like you too... I love you!” as she walks away. She seems pleased, although I did not pursue her, which I should have. Later in the night, she comes back around and I kino her a bit, in fact I ‘back it up’ on her, which she laughs a bit at, although she is drunk and I am nervous, so nothing comes of it. A little bit later after that, she comes by AGAIN and this time I really try to kino her more. In the heat of the moment, I don’t notice that she actually *slaps my ass*, which a few years ago when I was drunk-gaming would have sent me on a mission, but this time I don’t even notice it, and only hesitate. In any case, that set was useful and she was damn cute, good-looking enough all my homies were impressed - I liked her style as well, minus her being wasted.

My 3rd “Hi” came from a chick in a two set who was IOI’ing the hell out of me as they walked by. I exchanged names, and it was clear she was into me, however the obstacle cockblocked and all I really got out of it was an open and some external validation. On the good side, my eye contact was strong, my feet were planted, and I kept talking as she walked.

The 4th was a seated 2-set, to which I said, “Hi! I’m just being social...” shook their hands and joked about being the maitre’d at the venue. It was chode but it was an open, and I fear seated sets, so it’s good that I did one.

5th was a girl walking by, and to my surprise, I did an oldie-but-goodie, what me and my boys used to call “head opener”, which is where you pat the girl on the head as the first thing you do! It sounds horrific like the girl would freak out, but girls love it for some reason. Obviously you have to be gentle with this thing and not overuse it, but the girls always seem to open with it, and this one did too. She responded to it as if to say “that was ballsy! I like!” although again I hesitated and didn’t have much of a response.

In between these groups, I talked to some guys in the cigarette cipher (I couldn’t quit, unfortunately... still trying though) and they were cool and funny... helped build momentum, certainly...

My biggest set of the night was a fairly hot older Blonde woman (by older I mean probably mid-30’s; I’m in my mid-20’s). I was standing by the side of the bar just kind of chilling as she walks by me rather slowly... I had noticed her and her friend before, and I guess because I had put them in “cougar” category, I was a bit more confident - cougars are ravenous for the dick. It’s a fact. I open with, “Hi! I’m Antihero!” in a very funny sort of playful tone, almost like I-know-how-ridiculous-this-sounds voice, and she buys right into it. It turns out she is from the foreign country I’m going to be studying abroad in this summer, and we ‘hit it off’. My feet stance a bit strange in the sense I opened but didn’t face her, which was a bit odd (I know Mystery says that’s a good thing, but not when she has IOI’d by hooking!), and we begin talking...

...The first mistake comes when I mention my living situation - I stumbled and said I live on the campus of my college (which I don’t, I live in an apartment across the street), making it sound like I live in a dorm. Her friend walks up and they giggle about this, but this didn’t quite sink my ship. The nail in the coffin was when I was discussing being in a band before college (which is true), and traveling with them, to which she responded, “How many conquests did you have?”

Now first, I misheard her, thinking she said, “countries” or “concerts”, and then when I realized she said “conquests”, I was like, “Uh... as in WOMEN!?” in this sort of nerdy I’ve-never-been-asked-this kind of force. She said, “Yes, I am from Europe, we are very direct.” For the next 30-40 seconds I stumbled through a plethora of answers that clearly showed I was unnerved by this question. The ironic thing about this is I indeed banged alot of chicks from the band thing and traveling (as well as boozing while gaming back in the day), but now that I’m trying this new style, I guess the old-beta-chode-mind took force for a second and made me sound like damn near a virgin to this chick!
Needless to say the set fizzled out, although I did ask for the number! She hit me with some evasive language, and it was done. No worries though, it was a great lesson!

+ Completed my 5 "Hi!" goal, in fact I exceeded it and had 7!
+ "Head opener" made an appearance!
+ State was pretty stable throughout night, actually had fun
+ Trusted in my momentum better than expected 
+ Did not drink at all! 

- Completely bottled the "conquests" line
- Got smacked on the ass and did nothing!
- Qualified myself too much to the cougar
- Smoked cigarettes... bad for training

Keep the faith, and beware the darkness...
The Antihero
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Friday, March 1st, 2013

After a traffic delay, my wing arrived around 10:30pm. I had been fluctuating between the buoyant “flow-state” I had experienced before due to the day’s hike and a creeping sense of nervousness by the time we arrived. I hopped in the car and we exchanged warm and friendly greetings.

We dashed down to the beach and he quickly realizes he has lost his ID. I’m not the least bit irritated, not only because of the positive mentality I’d been immersed in all day, but also because it deferred the time in which I would actually have to open, haha. He opens a undoubtedly hot chick outside of the venue smoking a cigarette. I am impressed. The set runs for about 15 minutes, and given that it’s my first night running this whole “sober game” thing, I chode around the block for a noticeable amount of time rather than open anyone. Not the best choice, but hey, I’ll live with it. Shortly thereafter we hop in his car and head out.

As we drive to his home to pick up his identification, I begin to get work myself up in energy, realizing that not only had I come to a spiritual breakthrough today, but I really could do this - I had a level of respect for how far he had progressed over a few months. With that being said, he did talk quite a lot, to the point it began to exhaust me, and I began to get weary. In any case, I decided I was really going to try this shit out, let the chips fall where they may.

We arrive back at the beach and my first open, a simple “Hi!” comes from a 4-set hopping out of cab as my wing is hollering at an unrelated girl. Between the hotter girl he had spit game at from before and this new chick he was talking to, I decided it was time not to just let him open ALL the girls. I realize that allowing my competitive edge to spurn me on to the open is perfectly acceptable, at least for now. Then again I was so scared I really did very little, lol. The other 3 sets went similarly.

A group on a birthday party extravaganza engages us on the street, and oddly enough I am able to joke and laugh with them in a very fraternal way. One of the guys tells me to tell a girl, "Those heels look sexy on you", which I do, and she plays along with the joke. I take some pictures for them and he gives me a cigarette, which I throw away because I'm trying to stop smoking while gaming. Still, it was a good sign that social momentum was in our favor, and always good to chop it up with a guy or two during the night to show myself I'm still a chill, social guy with everybody, not just with girls as I'm on the prowl.

The most memorable sets of the evening came first from a two set sitting on the ledge of a gate near a parking lot. My wing opens strongly and confidently, and his obstacle (ostensibly my target) is on the phone. I hesitate because I forget the classic line, “You’re not allowed to do that here, I’m quality control for this area, etc.” and simply watch her before I start blurting out nonsense. She takes quite well to my loud tonality and identifies herself as German and Jewish. I’m too nervous to start dropping jokes (although it would seem she was looking for one), but my wing adds enough energy to the set that they hook. A few minutes pass with general banter before we decide to leave. As we are going, I blurt out “I love you!” in a funny voice to the obstacle (my target), to which she actually says, “Really? Don’t play with my heart...” in an equally funny manner. Again, I am so shocked by the IOI I hesitate and eject, rather than doing what I should have done - kino’d and got the damn number. Next time.

The second set, which went the longest, was a drunk rich girl who approached us asking for a cigarette. We negged for a minute or so, and somehow through my loud voice (one of my strong points) she begins talking to me. It turns out she went to college in my hometown, and we begin trading war stories... my wing stands in the background and gives me the “fucking kino!” symbol, and I awkwardly hug her and twirl her a bit. We try to exchange Facebook info, which does not work, and luckily I go in for the number... and get it! She is drunk enough that I can pretty much guarantee it will flake (which it did), but it was certainly a much bigger step than I expected.

The rest of the night was slow and arduous, but I did indeed end up with five “Hi!” openers, which was my goal.

+ I completed my goal of "5" Hi's
+ Sober the entire night
+ No cigarettes
+ State was pretty stable, didn't go into depressed/scarcity mode
+ Number-close! Count it

- Fumbled with the "German/Jewish" jokes and banter
- Fumbled by not asking for the number of the German/Jewish chick, regardless of what I 'think' she would say
- Avoided 2-sets and 3-sets, which is chode bullshit
- Have to remember to say "You're not allowed to do that here" for any phone distractions
- Have to KINO KINO KINO once the set is hooked... seriously

Keep the faith and beware of darkness...

The Antihero
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