Hey there, this is my first blog entry, I haven't really decided to start a blog it just popped in my head now, maybe cause I don't have anything better to do and waiting for a friend to go for a little daygame..

I classify myself as a newbie.. I only have been in this community for a couple of months though, and it's going pretty well so far.. anyways this entry is all about the things that changed me from a total and utter chode to a person who realises he can be a beamp (beast+pimp). I am also writing this because, hey, if there is one person who can be helped by this then it's succesful.. English is not my mother language so you will excuse possible mistakes and dumb shit i write, although I think (mostly hope) you get my point..

anyways, to the story.. I used to be this shy guy in every situation, I would never speak loudly, always intimidated by other people and always waiting for others to indicate how I should act in a social situation (a.k.a. social pinging,, BIG TIME). I'm sure that many of you relate to this and I'm sure that this is the reason why many of you joined this community, afterall no one is a special snowflake, as Tyler Durden says.. The thing is though, I was always trying to understand how people could be pimps or even being able to speak freely around others and I always admired it.. And I was falsely trying to accumulate value to myself by wearing nice clothes, trying to hang out with popular people and constantly trying to analyze what it was that made them popular and trying to "copy" them.. Of course I had my shiny moments where I had temporary confidence and good things happening for me but I was never satisfied with myself because I was comparing to others all the time!

I am originally from Cyprus (a small island in the mediterranean), but I moved to Sweden for studies.. By the time I moved I was in a 6-month relationship with a girl I loved, or at least I thought so at the moment and the relationship kept going on for a year after I moved (and she moved to England).. Distant relationship is something I would never advise you to do, it sucks. Of course, after a while we broke up.. 

I kept going around being a chode in the land of the most beautiful women in the world, of course with no results at all, as I was frightened to approach and I didn't really have someone to push me! After two years in Sweden I got into the best economics school and started my studies, still trying to accumulate value through being "someone important" (I didn't verbalize it like that back then but subconsciously that's what it was).. but nothing there either,, nothing really seemed to work,, and my confidence was going down the toilet as time passed..

At one point though, I was recommended of going on a cruise to Finland and Russia, it would be an exchange student cruise and I would be the "leader" of a group of 6 exchange students from my university.. I was sooo stressed about that, but I did it anyway.. Long story short, the cruise was awesome, I learned a lot of things but, the most important thing was this: for 2 days I was practically alone with a bunch of people I didn't know.. I was going to go for a limo cruise with a bunch of exchange students from Finland.. I had two choices then, I would either sit in the limo by myself and be a chode and not have fun at all or, I could speak to everyone and be as open as possible despite my shyness.. There was really one choice for me, I had to speak to everyone! So I did.. I met a lot of fun people and funny enough that was the first time I ever got into STATE! I felt like a king! I was treated like the leader of the group and I even made out with a german girl I had just met! That was probably one of the best nights of my life!

So, to all of you there who think that you can't change your chode state, I would recommend taking a trip anywhere by yourselves, you may think this is a cliché or sth, but it really changes you! You have no choice but to speak up and be extroverted! If you don't you'll probably die or sth (maybe not but that's how I thought of it).

The thing was though, even after that, I felt confident for a short period of time, I met some girls, nothing really epic happened, but I met this gorgeous 30-year old swedish girl who was a dancer, and by my surprise, SHE was the one who gave her phone number to me! I guess that happened because I approached her and her friend without any outcome dependance, since a friend of mine challenged me to go and do it.. the other day I sent her a few messages, but nothing, she stopped answering, couldn't really understand why.. so then I decided to fix this problem, and then I found RSD.. It changed my life, I now think on another level, my mind was blown by what I was hearing and I got so excited to work on myself that some nights I couldn't sleep!

I made HUGE progress compared to how I was before, as I went for a daygame a couple of times and I got a few numbers! I was really excited since this never happened to me before!

Anyways, I need to head out, I don't want to be late for my daygame, looking forward to it! Hope this helped even a little.. Thanks for reading, and HAVE FUN!
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