My 22nd birthday just passed last Tuesday, which at least in theory celebrates my anniversary of having been in this game. I wanted to celebrate and write a huge “Blueprint-like” treatise on what I’ve learned in this ridiculous year, but for now I’m just going to throw some useful outer game to the newbies/intermediates of the RSD/PUA world, because this site is amazing and I’m down with the principles espoused in its teaching for all time, however I think it’s lacking in 1) a dose of real talk 2) PRACTICAL OUTER GAME for the Newbie/Intermediate. I spent a lot of time in the first few months of my PUA journey going through a whole host of inner game “figuring it all out”, and frankly, I didn’t start seeing real real results until I stepped my fundamental outer game up, and specifically the things that I want to talk to you about today. I believe if you, newbie/recovering AFC/chode/intermediate can get a handle on these things, and get the calibration of them up to speed… you will be well on your way to the abundance that me, my crew, and the RSD world has enjoyed in this past year of magic and mayhem. I’ll hold nothing back, and it might come off as intense, but that’s who I am, and I couldn’t care less, I’m enjoying a high level of congruency and success with these sort of things, and nothing would make me happier for every single of you to do the same. Let’s begin… these are things you MUST keep careful watch of throughout the duration of your interaction with an HB, from opening, to sex, to keep the sex going, to cutting it off. In order of importance, least to most:
Tim termed this as “rhythm 10 ‘til 2”, and he is right on the mark. Be VERY aware of the rhythm of A) the evening but mainly B) HER. Calibration teaches this, but it’s something you can begin to hip yourself to now. One of girl’s main turn-off’s, much like their ASD/feeling like a slut, is the feeling “AWKARD”, this is clearly the unnamed cuss word of English, and you must do all in your power to avoid being titled as such, and keep careful watch of the people girls (as well as dudes) call this and how NOT to be that.
Much of this has to do with pacing. Let’s say you see a girl at a bar that you opened last week. It went well, but you faltered and forgot to ask for her number (btw ALWAYS ask for the number. Even if you never call it. It’s good practice, and it will make you ZEN-like in your ability to know WHEN to ask for the number, and it lets her know you like her… same goes for kissing) Anyway, when you see this girl that you opened before, do NOT open her immediately. This is where pacing comes in. You need to promote a little value before opening her again. Talk to your buddies, bonus points if they are girls, in fact it’s better if you can just game up another chick in front of her. Now proceed with caution on that last point… DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT make the mistake of over-escalating your pivot or girl you are using to get another directly in FRONT of your target or her friends… I made this error a lot. You will come off like a “manwhore”, which can be a good thing and is the ultimate double-edged sword, but you are probably, as a newbie/intermediate not prepared to wield it.
Wrapping up on this section… just keep a keen eye on rhythm. Know when to re-open, and when not to come off awkward, and when to eject momentarily. I usually just throw a “Don’t leave without saying bye” or “don’t leave without me showing you the door” or some shit to keep her thinking that you’ll talk again, then re-open 10-15 mins. Later. Similarly, be aware of the rhythm of your text messages, phone calls, and escalations, and just hope for the best. Rhythm is important.
2) HER ENERGY LEVELS
Being calibrated in this arena was one of the points that really has stepped my game up, and you as a newbie need to study this quite heavily.
A woman will tell you much of what you need to know simply by her energy levels a.k.a. IOI’s, etc. This comes off in many ways. Outside of the obvious keeping the conversation going when you talk to her, or kino escalating you (this will begin to happen the better you get), is just in general the tone of her voice, the activity of her eyes, and the amount of attention/spotlight she is putting on you, in front of her friends, or anyone else. It’s hard to quantify but keep a very close watch of her energy levels at ALL times, even after you’ve fucked her. It will let you know a lot about where you’re at, and it may be as simple as one change in tone, or w/e… but trust me being good at this will set you free.
3) THE AMOUNT OF CHODING SHE IS DOING
This ties a bit in with her energy levels, but this comes in so many different forms and ranges, and is very important in later game, and after-sex game. Girls are CONSTANTLY choding for dudes, in a whole host of ways. Now as my game (and hopefully yours) gets better and better, the range and intensity of her chodedom will increase by leaps and bounds, but be very aware, just like energy levels, of the times she is even ATTEMPTING to chode for you, and realize what that means. What does that mean?
Most girls are insecure a FUCK. They are fortunate to have social calibration (and a highly built shield/ASD because of it) due to the fact they are opened a lot cuz they have vaginas, but they are often WAY more insecure than us dudes, even us suicidal ones. Thus, when they see a guy that they like, (i.e. US!!!), they begin a very intense amount of choding/qualification, however you must be OBSERVANT and a multi-tasker to recognize it. Now that you have been hipped, begin to recognize when a girl is choding for you.
Let’s think of some examples. One of the most common ones is “Sorry”. Girls love this word. One of the first things I learned in the PUA world is stop saying “Sorry” or that’s what you are… sorry. But girls never learn that shit. I think it’s cuz they have some kind of guilt thing going or whatever, and when they feel like you have more value than them (which will invariably happen as your game gets stepped up), they are going to feel guilty or low value or some shit, and start saying “sorry” and chode shit like that. If the girl says “sorry” to you about anything, consider it much like a first down in football or a three-pointer. A small but noticeable victory within it self.
Also, paying you compliments… saying “you’re different”, saying you’re “aggressive” (like Tim that one time), what have you. Anytime a girl is taking the time to go on about how great you are (which again, will start to happen once you are the man and have game… it happens so often now I’m usually in my head like WTF???), then you are money.
And lastly, most choding from girls, in my experience, is done over the phone, or text messages. If she texts you first thing in the morning, or “I miss you” or any of that shit… just know you have enough value to do pretty much whatever the fuck you want, and she probably wants to be on her knees for you right at that instant. They love that kind of shit.
4) WHEN IT IS TIME TO MAN THE FUCK UP
This is, of course, a common thread in much RSD lore, as well much PUA in general. This section is pretty self explanatory but I do want to say a word about “plowing”, which something I mainly learned from RSD (as opposed to MM or something)… this is such a CRUCIAL part of getting good at the game, its not even funny. So many newbies, or dudes that don’t know about the pickup game, don’t think about that shit… YOU SHOULD BE PLOWING AT ALL TIMES. Just like you should ESCALATING at all times… you should NOT be taking what she gives you at first glance… the way I tell guys I run game with who are just starting is “You should not a run a set that doesn’t last for at least 1 minute.” I can’t stand when guys go into set and come back in like 15-30 seconds. WTF IS THAT? Man, KEEP TALKING, make jokes… MAN UP.
This extends, of course, to other aspects. In the same way you should never be in a set for less than a full minute, you shouldn’t be in attraction/comfort and not kino’ing her out of existence. Why are you talking this girl for more than 5 minutes and not got your arm around her, etc.? You’ve got to be kidding me. MAN UP! Similarly, in the bed… IF YOU ARE IN A BED WITH A GIRL, SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU… or rather… SHE WANTS YOU TO FUCK HER… just man up and go in. If you’re scared, take a deep ass breath, use the classic Tyler line, “This is either gonna go great, or terribly… HAHA… here we go” and just go in. ALWAYS BE MANNING UP.
5) LASTLY… THE BIGGEST WORD IN PICKUP – VALUE.
Know your value. This is probably the biggest most important skillset you can pick up in your game. Know the amount of VALUE and consistency through which you are promoting this value, the means by which you are doing, and what’s having success… and how to reproduce this throughout the interaction.
Let’s get into this. At EVERY second of your interaction with a girl (or anyone really), there are very quick, rapid, intense value transactions going on. Someone is choding, someone is promoting value. Now in the context of girls, especially when you guys are flirting/meeting… it is happening at a VERY extreme rate, and most girls don’t know that this is what is occurring. And so it’s on you to get a leg up and know this shit like the BACK OF YOUR HAND.
Okay, what does this mean in plain English? There are MANY ways to promote value, and when you have game, you need to accomplish and know what they are. Let’s think examples. There are the natural ones like
A) Being pre-selected by other women… of course this is a huge one. If you find yourself at a venue/party/whatever looking at a girl you want, and she blows you out, and she’s not really IOI’ing you the way you want… JUST GO GET ANOTHER GIRL… you can even lie and just tell the other girl you’re really trying to get your target… most girls will be down. Jealously plotlines and “other chicks” is CHICK CRACK… a girl could literally NOT be into you, and if you open an adjacent set with a chick HB8 or higher… she will be ready to grab you right in front of that other chick. It’s simple. So that’s a huge value boost.
B) Having lots of buddies… naturally. If you have a crew of your boys and you get blown out, come back and just chill with your homies for a minute… you’re pretty much driving in neutral. You’re not gonna get a huge value boost by chilling with dudes or anything (no chick’s gonna get wet or anything) but hey it’s better than being a linger chode or wallflower (NEVER, EVER be that guy by the way. If you’re by yourself, go get a drink and sit at the bar and laugh at the TV or some shit. Talk to the bartender, fake text your crew… ANYTHING. Just NEVER wallflower or linger chode. It drags your state down and you looking like a fucking faggot).
Anyway, those are obvious, and having a good handle on those will make you go a long way, but let’s think of some other ones that you may not even notice.
C) YOUR ENERGY LEVELS – Real talk man, you can pull a chick/get her wet just by being the cool chill player type that knows you can have any chick in the venue. You may not notice, but just SPEAKING to a girl, and having the proper energy levels (somewhere between being CHILL and being an aggressive, loud asshole lol). For lack of a better word, this would be your “swag”. Just be the fucking man, and realize for 95% of any girls… A.D.W.D. Any Dick Will Do.
D) *YOU* – This is probably the biggest thing for me. NO ONE KNOWS, OR WILL EVER KNOW BETTER THAN YOU ABOUT YOU AND YOUR UNIQUE EXPERIENCE IN LIFE. YOU HAVE LIVED A LIFE… You have TONS of interesting, funny, crazy fucking stories that people want to hear and laugh their ass off at. I don’t give a fuck who you are. If you’ve lived more than 15 years on this rock, even if you’re just 15,14, 15, you have a shit load of NUTSO, CRAZY, FUNNY stories to tell girls/people. I’ll give you an example. I woke up in Delaware this morning. I’ve never been (partied, hung out) to Delaware. People in Delaware are pretty cool, kind of like Philadelphia’s leftovers, but in general they’re all alright. I’m DEAF in my right ear. Straight up deaf… and I’m a musician for a living. So ironically, my fans are hearing twice as much of my music as I am lol. See? All these things are fair game. Just say that shit in set, and she will tell you equally unique, chill, cool story. IF she’s cool. If she’s not and she blows you out for talking about your own unique experiences, she’s a and there are more girls anyway. Plus, if you follow all the other shit I’ve talked about, she’ll come back to you once you open another set, and be yourself.
Anyway, the point of this section is YOU HAVE A UNIQUE TALE TO TELL.
Wrapping up, the moral of this whole thing is to give you some tools and things to think about to get your game up, and not a lot of theory bullshit (cuz too much theory is the devil. Trust me.) I’ll give you a bit of parting real shit. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD… we’re all ultimate just CHICKENS with our heads cut OFF. And girls are the WORST. They don’t know what they’re doing. They just want to be lead and shown the light. That’s what you’re here for, ‘cause you’re a unique guy, and you believe in yourself and where you’re headed. Ultimately remember… YOU ARE THE VALUE. YOU ARE A FUCKING PIMP. TRUST ME… you can have any girl you want in any venue if you just play your outer game solidly (using the tools like I’ve shown here), and remember that YOU *CAN* BE A PIMP. JUST GIVE IT TIME, AND RUN SOLID GAME. Peace and love.