amanwithaplan's Blog

 
I'm not so much pissed off at myself, but just disappointed. I went to the mall for 2 hours, there weren't many opportunities but regardless, there were still sets I could've opened.

I only really talked to a sale clerk, and that was it...and got a pair of pants but, shit.

I mean I know what to do, say. I'm not even sure if reading up on all the pick up stuff has helped. It's really only past the time for me and well, I'm conscious and aware of things that happen. I mean, well it was the first time I went out by myself (was weird at first) but that's not a valid excuse. I was semi comfortable at first, I mean I'm cool now.

I'm not going to beat myself up for it, but sigh, it is a bit of a disappointment.
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#1

amanwithaplan

Member

Join Date: 07/31/2009 | Posts: 86

Now that I googled some stuff, I think I'm feeling bouts of depersonalization and derealization. Wow. It's like I'm depressed or something.

Sigh, again, not letting this be an excuse. But I honestly feel like I'm just far removed from my real life. Maybe it's the mary jane....maybe its just the realization I'm a chode and my ego can't accept it or does not want to get bruised.

Jesus.
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#2
The Jackal

The Jackal

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/19/2009 | Posts: 12

It sounds like you have a fear of rejection.  You are creating a reason in your head as to why you shouldn't approach girls and convincing yourself that you will get rejected or cockblocked.  You are throwing in the towel before the first round even begins.   Trust me when I say this, the more girls you appraoch and open...the easier and more natural it becomes.  Eventually you won't even realize you are doing it and because it's so natural for you, it is also natural for the girl. 

Stop beating yourself up for failing to approach.  I'm sure you've heard the saying where "the only things I regret are the times I never tried".  Stop being worried about rejection because if you don't succeed the worst case scenario is you never see her again.  

The next time you see a girl you want to approach, start thinking of reasons why she would want you to approach her instead of reasons why she wouldn't.  If she's with her parents then maybe she's bored. 

Good luck man, I know you can do this shit!  You only live once...live with no regrets!!
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#3

amanwithaplan

Member

Join Date: 07/31/2009 | Posts: 86

I like yeah, I know all the quotes of positivity and all the affirmations and all kinds of knowledge.

But it is really nice to hear from someone who was in a similar situation and has cared enough to reply. I'll keep a tab on you and perhaps we could even talk.

"The next time you see a girl you want to approach, start thinking of reasons why she would want you to approach her instead of reasons why she wouldn't"
- That's actually something I've never come around despite reading/learning so much on this kind of stuff.

Again, thanks for your time.
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#4
___Alchemyst___

___Alchemyst___

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/15/2009 | Posts: 13

I would definately recommend the watching the videos, its MUCH better then just reading articles.

I know where you are coming from, but just wait it out and let it just happen.  dont be discouraged too early. 
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#5

Frost_

Member

Join Date: 07/07/2009 | Posts: 47

 your internal critic is too harsh.  Ozzie's latest article should be directed straight at you.  The first time you went to the mall you didn't talk to anyone.  This time you talked to a sales clerk.  Next time you can talk to two sales clerks.  Then a sales clerk and some random guy.   Then a sales clerk and a random girl.  That's just one example.  It took you all your life to get to a state where approaching is difficult,  it's great that you are pushing yourself but it will take some time to undo the lifetime worth of social conditioning.  

Also don't fear rejection.  "The more times you get rejected, the more times you will get laid".  Rejection is a beautiful thing. Without it we would never learn how to not respond to a negative reaction.  Furthermore, rejection stories are the best, everyone loves hearing them.  By getting rejected you build value within yourself in the form of those stories.   I love telling my shotgun story where I don't get the girl.  

Keep it up. 
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