I have bought several books to help with inner game and this will be my repositiory on notes from the readings and my thoughts.Persuade Anyone With NLP
(p.21) When someone brings up a contentious issue, ask 'how long has this been a problem?' . Asking questions helps build rapport.
(p.46) Notes on how to be more Assertive:
- Value Yourself
- Value other people
- work out what you need and want out of life - but be prepard to compromise on these
- Keep to any point your making - don't let others distract you from it
- Keep your voice slow and low-pitched, stay relaxed
- vary the pace and pitch of your voice to give interest
- keep your head up, shoulders and body relaxed, use regular eye contact and keep an upright, open confident posture.
- get your feelings of self-worth from within yourself, not just from other people
- don't lose your temper and act aggressively
- don't be to timid
If you want to say NO:
- keep it short, say it confidently and calm
- use a simple phrase you're comfortable with such as "I don't want to", "maybe some other time", "I'd rather not"
- Calmly repeat no again, if first not accpeted
Use Repetition (broken record technique)
e.g. I hear what your saying, but I need X....
By acknowledging X, you lessen it's impact.
Are your goals SMART (p. 51)
Sensory Acuity (p.78):
There is a vast amount of silent information about other people available to us. All we need to do is look for it.....Try looking for:
Calibration - process of determining another person's mood state by carefully observing the nuances of their behavior.
- gestures (lots, few, pointing)
- general body movements (arms folded, foot tapping, handshake)
- smaller body movements (eye movements, tremor, muscle twitches)
- voice (calm, loud, bored, happy)
- facial expressions (e.g. smile, frown, afraid, eyebrows raised, micro-expressions)
- posture (hunched, upright, tense, attentive, bored, keen)
- skin (pale, flushed)
- breathing (shallow, fast, sighing)
Eye Accessing Cues
When someone is remembering something they tend to look to their right. (i.e. factual events)
When someone is constructing something they tend to look to their left.(i.e. lying)
Meta progammes (p.90)
proactive/ reactive -
To be continued...