PUAs: Royalty, Tom, Steven, AlphaWolf
We ended up in a small rich town in the bay area. Steve and I were there first and we went to meet the guys at the a bar.
I end up talking to a really cool dude and he introduces me to his girlfriend. Overall just a good fun vibe. I realized there is this thing I do, which is smiling without intent. You know that smile you give, like you are genuinely enjoying yourself, and you're smiling with you eyes. If someone looks your way and you smile back, without intention or outcome dependence. This helps a lot and it has helped other people open me. You're just a friendly guy enjoying life.
I open the girl's friend, she's shocked that I know her name after getting it from the girl. I befriend the guys. A note about frat like guys - some are SUPER friendly, others are territorial. Just because a white guy looks like a jock from american pie, it doesn't mean he's an asshole. I've met some of these good looking blue eyes boys and they are some of the coolest guys I know. Others were total assholes and will try to start fights. You just don't know so don't stereotype them.
I opened so many sets but I don't remember all of them. I do remember the sets that went bad, but for the first time in a long time, it doesn't affect me. Its like I have an emotional barrier to my heart and rejections don't even remotely affect me. When someone is rude to you in a social situation, there is a biological feedback effect. Your face turns red, you feel your heart beat faster, you start feeling "embarrassed". This happened to me today a lot as I got some REALLY bad rejections. However, I learned a lot from there.
1. A set I had I opened the girl and then I incorrectly addressed the guy, and it appeared like I wanted something. Instead of being cool. I became a bit value seeking. The guy was a total asshole and said, "there's the door". I said "it was nice meeting you". I realized that I should have put him on the spot or defended myself and said, "where I am from, that's just not a nice thing to say". I realized my mistake in transitioning from the open and losing my initial value from the girl smiling. I also realized that some guys are just assholes and you can't change people but you can change your actions. Instead of getting mad, I quickly accepted the emotions of slight embarassment, realized that it doesn't affect me in the long run in one bit, and the next guy that came through I added positivity, "Hey nice hat!" > He beamed and said "Thanks man!"
2. One girl was eyeing me. I walked by a few times and didn't open. They start giving me weird looks. I decide to open the girl and I learn in and say, "do you mind if I talk", and before I finished, she said, "just go away". I just nodded and left.
Now, in these situations there are 2 things happening. One is that these girls are indeed quite rude and its just not nice. BUT, they are also being rude because the social situation gives them the permission to do so. You made a "mistake", in other words of not conveying enough value, or giving them a reason to be rude to you. Or, sometimes, you didn't defend yourself and put the other person on the spot. Unfortunately the way to mastery is literally to experience these situations, because they allow you to identify exactly what you did wrong, and at what point the social taboo tipping point was reached.
Most of my other sets were great. I continued t open and some of the hottest girls are also the nicest! You just never know. I few good sets and then you start walking more with a swagger and everything else starts to open up. The energy is there. I still need to work on slowing down my conversation and crystalizing one liners of conversation pieces, to make them congruent and delivery is SO key here. Although I moved away from structured game I do believe that having useful conversation pieces, and then organizing them into phases in the attraction process is key. This is totally MM and less natural, but I see now why in cold approaches, you absolutely need this.
3. ANOTHER KEY lesson - I opened all the sets and then BOOM tried to see how far I could take it. Instead of saying hi, then just enjoying it and not forcing it. I generated a lot of social proof in one club where a lot of girls were feeling me, and I would walk around and most of the girls were giving me good IOIs. You don't have to hit on every girl or plough every set. If you know what you'r doing you can "work" the whole room and then go back to the girls. This can be done mostly with good wings or a good group. As a single person though you sometimes have to take th shot and see if you can score.
4. The hottest girls are often the nicest. Don't think that just because a girl is ugly she's nice. Don't judge based on looks. Judge on behavior. Good looking jock dudes were super nice, these were single jock dudes who look fucking GQ, but had no game. I had some ugly dudes who were mean to me even with their girls. You just never know. Don't judge on looks.
Feedback for wings
Note: I am writing this at 2am in the morning and my ONLY intention of this is so that we all fucking become better. To become good so that we are not alone, and that we can live a life of options. I am not harsh be mean, I am direct because I want ALL of us to improve and be the best that we can be.
Good open! I spotted a 2 set and asked him to open with "I like blueberries" that made their day!
You're energy is good. Your smile is fucking INFECTIOUS and you have a very playful vibe. Keep opening and success will find you.
You sometimes come across as a bit feminine or very young, but I think that's exactly your initial charm. Challenge will be the express INTENT as the conversation moves away from the initial open and go for the close in a dominant frame.
I've been out with you 5-7 times now I can't remember. You always have AA! This is ok but when it happens this frequently something is wrong. It is either or a combination of 2 things:
1. A lack of resolve to borrow through the fear. We all do it man
2. An inner game issue - you have some beliefs about yourself that I wish you could change. It seems like you don't value yourself the way I wish that you would ,because you're such a fucking smart and accomplished guy. But you just don't believe it.
I've been out with you and I have seen good nights. On good nights you rock and I feel like you're a friend I've known for a long time
Tonight I knew you were down but for some reason the energy wasn't there. I'm not sure why because we both got laid last night so your energy should be high! But I think some rejections took the steam out of your sails. I know the feeling but I wish that as the night went on, you would try to push more energy into the room and EXPAND your comfort zone, instead of giving in and going home!
Also, our GROUP VIBE was SO OFF> I was better by myself and getting opened by girls and when I joined you guys at the end, you would literally feel the energy drop. Not only were we 4 guys in a hot club, we were 4 guys who weren't enjoying each other's company and ourselves. Black whole of energy drain. This is the first time I've seen you like this, but I feel like I open for you a lot and carry you, you MUST learn to do this on your own.
P.S. The really hot European tall girl I opened and she was feeling me ,but I passed her onto you because it was your set. Later on I opened their whole group and it was on again however I did not close her. I should have. I do respect our wing rules and I know it was your set, only when did the girl not feel you did I re-engage her again.
SMILE. You have a pretty face and a nice smile. For some reason the muscles near your dimples appear to be less exercises and I wish you would give a genuine smile. Your face looks robotic at times. I think you're fucking cool because I know you now but as a stranger or a new person to meet, you look like you're sad or even a bit intimidating. As you start talking the real you comes out and its fucking cool. I think everyone should work on their "GENUINE SMILE" face in the mirror. Tom you have nice teeth and an awesome smile, minus the nervousness and a sense of SELF confidence I think you would do extremely well.
Apologies if these points sound harsh, and please understand that I am tough on you because I see potential for better selfs in all of you.
Inspiration from William (PUA):
"One day, I woke up and it just clicked: I realized that If I meet a girl, on the street or in my life, I will know exactly what I am going to say to her, to convey myself in a short amount of time, and even if she doesn't like me, I would have enjoyed myself in the conversation" Such is the skill of mastering social dynamics.