Breaking News...!!!!  Alexander~ Executive Coach from real Social Dynamics is in the United States of America to work with Tyler on his Hotseat bootcamps! 

That means I’m hitting up Chicago, Washington, Boston and Hollywood RSD style. For the first time ever students will have access to BOTH the quintessentially American pick up styles of Tyler AND my own unique pick up styles that have been developed in the confrontational lands of Australia and the strange and emotional plains of Europe.

I’m very excited to see what Tyler and I can learn from each other. I haven’t run a Bootcamp with Owen (AKA Tyler, AKA Dexter) since in Hawaii in 2007. I get the sense that he’s going to offer me insights into his Hollywood rockstar game, and I hope to share insights about the super smooth, invisible romantic game that has bought me surplus success around the world in the last five years.

Whatever happens, for the students on these programs, it will be a new experience that’s never been available before in the history of Real Social Dynamics.

It’s that empathy and invisible game that I’ve been focusing on for the past few weeks here in Asia as I’ve been mixing it up with Asian girls who are the most sexual girls on the planet, but at the same time the most **seemingly** introverted. Which brings me to the topic of this blog; empathy and the magical, all-powerful STATEMENT OF EMPATHY, a tool that everyone needs to know... and something that I think is stupidly overlooked by anyone looking to learn superhuman cold approach pickup skills.

The problem in question here is; as you become more and more confident, and more and more unique can you relate back to girls who see you as a guy with abnormally advanced social-skills? Also, if you know that girls NATURALLY like you when you’re confident and NATURALLY like you when you’re physical and leading her, then how do you help girls embrace that they NATURALLY like your physicality, and that *you* like t escalate physically as well.

It’s all explained in this video...



In a short summary; you need a CLEAR AND OVERT STATEMENT OF EMPATHY THAT COMMUNICATES that you know exactly how you are being received, but you intend to keep on doing what you want to do anyway.

The statement of empathy by definition is this: You clearly tell the girls that you are totally aware of how she’s feels about you, but that you’re going to unapologetically continue to do what you’re doing anyway.

Girls, like you and all people, think and behave based on what social conditioning has trained them. So, when you approach them with more confidence or physical initiative than what the girl is used to – or socially conditioned to be used to – she gets aroused, to which her automatic socially conditioned response is going to be to test you. The tests are never anything more than something simple she’s said, or repeating something she’s heard before, she says out of automatic socially conditioned reaction.

Be sure that when a girl tests you she doesn’t emotionally mean what she’s saying, but she thinks she does, which is confusing to her. If a girl, or any person, is confused towards a new unfamiliar stimulus they simply evade or ‘flight’ the situation. In the context of you approaching a girl in a bar you can expect the girl is not going to engage you and just walk/scamper/run away.

So you need to actively reconcile her confusion between what she’s emotionally ok with, and what she’s socially conditioned to not be ok with.

Emotionally she likes that you’re a confident physically expressive guy, and that you’re different from the average guy, but her mind is trapped into automatically interpreting what you’re doing as unfamiliar and anxiety inducing. So she tests you.

You have to help the girl’s mind to understand you and what you’re doing by using a STATEMENT OF EMPATHY to help her line up what she’s thinking with what she’s feeling.

Once a girl, or any person, has congruence with what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling then they start to become comfortable with what’s going on and then start to embrace and relax toward you approach. With the removal of a girl’s anxiety towards you she becomes receptive and more compliant with the way you approach and interact with her.

So instead of the girl walking away, the statement of empathy will help the girl understand that you understand how she feels, making her more comfortable with you, allowing the set to go on.

The STATEMENT OF EMPATHY is a great response to all the generic, formality-tests girls give you when cold approaching. Unfortunately girls, and people, are passive thinkers and they usually respond automatically to unfamiliar situations with tests and scepticism, purely due to the fact that they’ve been conditioned to respond in negative and avoidant ways, even when their emotional response is telling them that the guy that’s just approached them is interesting and attractive.

Of course I’m assuming that you’re in cognitive, emotional and behavioural congruence with “I am enough” as I always do in writings.

As a guy doing cold approach pick up you need to be totally aware and expectant of these generic tests. Don’t hate girls for testing you; they’re more socially naive than you – the guy studying social dynamics and growth into high value online.

FOR EXAMPLE, during a cold approach interaction with a girl she will often give you sceptical looks and talk to you sarcastically... because that’s just how she’s conditioned. She’ll say things to you like “is this just a dare?!”, “you’re extremely confident and too full on!”, “you’re moving things forward way faster than I can handle!”, “you’re crazy!” amongst many others.

In pick-up you should always be humanistic with your approach, not systematic, you should be a guy who focuses first on the person in front of you and secondarily on the knowledge of social dynamics that helps you in your game. If you are humanistic in the way you approach girls then you should have a clear and open space in your head to interpret how you’re affecting the girl’s in front of you at all times. This is empathy.

Beware that you don’t let your empathy override your intentions. Don’t lets your awareness of a girls reactions influence you away from doing what you want to do, and how you want to express yourself in the interaction. I get lots of students saying “she gave me a mean look, so I should walk away”... GAY. All girls give you the ‘mean look’ during interactions, don’t worry about it.

Side note: but if you get 4 ignores in a row, then its time to walk away. This is called the four times rule.
When they give you standoffish reactions they’re testing you in a frame standoff that they hope you can beat them at, so you influence them, cause them to react to you, become aroused by you, become attracted to you and that’s how you get the girls to start complying with your advances, dates and physical leading forward.

Clearly verbalising that you are aware of exactly how the girls feels, even though you’re doing things on your terms – not based on the tests the girls give you – shows that you have a connection with the girls. That demonstration of empathy and connection is essential to creating a good emotional ‘bandwith’ between you and the girl that speed up the exchange of emotional communication between you and her, arousing her faster, making her more emotional..

Here are a couple of lines that you can use to show the girl that you are unapologetic, that you know how she feels, your 100% confident in what you’re doing and that you know exactly how she’s interpreting you.

“I know you think I’m crazy, I had an awesome week so I'm having as much of a crazy night possible.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you, I'm a really confident guy, sometimes it gets me into trouble, but that’s how I am.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if I was overwhelming when I came over just now, sorry I don’t wanna stop and spend too much time trying to plan what I do socially otherwise I wouldn’t be authentic with you.”

“I understand how you feel.”

“I’m a really physically expressive guy because I grew up in [insert whatever location you want here] so if that’s a bit overwhelming for you let me know to tone it down and I’ll do my best for you.”

If you want the girl to engage you she has to know for certain that you understand how she feels, otherwise you remain unfamiliar to her because she feels like she can’t relate to you, connect with you, and start to build a relationship with you.

As a guy going out there and acting with accelerated levels of confidence and social skills you will literally eclipse the girls you talk to and leave them thinking that you’re on some other level. The girl might like you, but if she thinking s you’re on some other level, and she can’t relate to you, then you have almost no chance to connect with her. Take the time to use the statement of empathy to connect with her from your position of influence to ensure that you breeze through her tests before she can give them to you. This will make it totally clear to the girl you’re totally aware of how she feels towards you.

Then continue to behave the ways you’ve learn from Real Social Dynamics that make you confident, stand out and naturally attractive.

Have fun and bring the Empathy...See you in America.

Alexander~
Executive Coach.

PS, Check out some of the other work I did in Singapore. I'll write an article about this soon; All about fun.



[Frustrated? Do a Bootcamp]