For the first time ever I’ve sat down, shown videos and unveiled the ideas in my head that have made me phenomenally successful at picking up girls.



Of course I don’t go around thinking “damn I’m good at picking up girls” for me it’s an afterthought, and for you eventually it will be too. But in the context of transferring what I now to other’s who seek to learn they idea’s that have given me astounding success, I took the time to acknowledge how far I’ve come with my social skills and pick up abilities. For myself, and the other instructors at Real Social Dynamics, it’s staggering.

My reflection lead me to realise that most students, NO – ALL STUDENTS, also undervalue themselves with unrealistic humility, hypnotised into them by social conditioning. When you undervalue yourself you feel approach anxiety and spend social situations acting like a retard being stuck deep inside your head.

Reflecting on my ideas and watching myself on video I noticed that I would continually say to myself things like “focus” and “follow my process”.

You, like me, lose focus of your abilities in the random variability of the social world and are left with a lack of direction that leaves you far less successful at picking up girls than you easily could be.

You, like me, are social conditioned on a daily basis. You are told to act more humble than you feel. On the inside you want to feel like the king, and congratulate youself – but social conditioning tells you to act as equals during the day. At night social conditioning doesn’t apply and you can engage your King Frame, your Natural Conditioning (NATURAL INSTINCTS METHOD), and behave exactly how you like. Or explore different ways of expressing yourself until you come into congruence with how you want to behave. One of the biggest battles is learning how to be honest and congruent with your masculine self. This is the growing, and personal development part of the game.But social conditioning tells you to durr around all day like a fucktard. Be passive and live without upsetting the order. Which is fine, but it doesn’t make you stand out and have fun and get girls when you’re having after work drinks with beautiful girls.

If you’re not getting results it’s because you’re durrrrng around like a fucktard... which can be fun when drunk with friends; sure.  But if I want to get results or grow you have to switch on. That doesn’t mean getting inside your head, but rather channelling your thoughts back to reality (not constructed social conditioning reality) and acknowledging some truths to yourself, reminding yourself to focus, and what to focus on.

Side note: once you internalise everything about picking up girls, then you can durr around because you’ve already established some kind of pick-up-competency. And when you’re during around you’re doing it as a naturally attractive alpha male, not a chode beta male who worries about other people. However, I really think that the only people who can durr as alpha males are the ones who’ve spent a good portion of their lives developing themselves with Real Social Dynamics, sports starts, inheritance kids, rock stars, freedom business owners, naturals and professional pick up coaches.

GIRLS ARE NOT GOING TO PICK THEMSLEVES UP.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DEVELOP CONGRUENCE AND REISTANCE TO SOCIAL PRESSURE MAGICALLY ON YOUR OWN. (Actually you will, once every few years when you are unlucky enough to non-voluntarily be forced into a position of great emotional discomfort like starting new jobs or death of people you care about. Until then, unless you’re taking focused initiative you won’t grow, you’ll decay.)

I realised that I’ve kind of unconsciously developed a pre-flight check list that I run through my head before I hit the club, bar, streets or party. I know it’s there, but it’s not really in the form of words, just some kind of emotional self acknowledgement impulses that ‘top up’ the way I think about myself and the social world and that realign me with the way the world ACTAULLY WORKS not the socially conditioned reality that everyone lives in slavery to.

While my check list will be slightly different to yours because our experience levels differ you’ll see that you eventually want to totally internalise all these pre-flight check list notions during your personal evolution of social growth. 

If you don’t yet get what I’m talking about take my ideas as they are. After all, you read articles by me Tyler, Brad, Jeffy and Ozzie to learn everything you can from the most experienced coaches in the industry. Take ideas as we present them, apply them, and watch as your experiences magically reveal what we meant in the first place. I bet you don’t do this already and: surprise-surprise, here you are frustrated again because you didn’t pay attention and apply what you've read when you were in field. 

That’s what this article is about, use your brain like and Alpha male, think for yourself and begin to train yourself with this pre-flight check list...everything you need to get your head right, and then bring you back to natural instincts congruence. You’ll become automatically attractive.

These things are all true, and bring you back to a state of relaxed arousal, not some kind of elaborate affirmations that pump you up and put you in some kind of volatile emotional state that risks collapse, a resulting bad mood and no fun or girls for you.

There's No Reason Why I'm Not Enough 

This truth is my most sacred and important idea that governs all aspects of my social behaviour. If I am in the same venue as these people and girls then I am not significantly better than them or significantly worse than them. My value to them already exists and simply grows as I spend more time with them. Regardless of what kind of initial reactions I get, or the misinformed socially conditioned ideas that these people live by, it doesn’t change the fact that I am the same status as whoever I interact with. There is no possible way I can become anxious or stifled from attempts to defend myself from this person, or attempt to impress myself to this person. “There is no reason why I’m not enough” is my go-to truth-firmation that gives me relaxation.

Nobody Will Amuse Me Except For My Initiatives

The game will never play itself, though it’s possible that MAYBE once in an eon a girl might do all the work for me, the reality is, that as a high value guy, a girl is going to test me all the way through the interaction EVEN WHEN SHE WANTS TO HOOK UP WITH ME. My fun only comes from the initiatives I create, the approaches I do, the games I play and the social boundaries I push. Other’s jokes are not as funny as my initiatives, things people say are not as interesting as my initiatives, being lead is not as fun as being the leader, ‘playing it safe is dull’ compared to amusing myself with social ventures. If I am going to something I will do it on my terms, if the initiative is active approaching or deliberate chilling and relaxing. I won’t waste my time searching for my mood in external sources because it can never be found.

These girls are not going to harass themselves

It’s doesn’t matter what kind of status, clothing, connections or money I have, girls will not push an interaction forward with me (from cold approach, note to self, become LMFAO). Even when they like me they’ll only do as much to get my attention and try to inspire me to chase/harass them. They intrinsically like the attention and arousal that comes from me chasing and harassing them. Because I am a guy in congruence with ‘there is no reason why I’m not enough’ and ‘unapologetic’ they seek my harassment as a great source of arousal even if they don’t appear to ‘like’ it.

Party-talk -Say what you're thinking (Get ya WAFFLE on)

I have to face the fact that it will take some kind of effort for the inception effect to wash over me before I’ll find myself in the dreamscape of good expression and empathy. I have to take responsibility for getting into a social mood by party talking. That is, any thought that comes into my head I must verbalise it, even if it is a negative though, I must frame it as an amusing negative though and express it to the world, my friends and the girls I’m talking to. I can trust that if I do this I’ll relax, then unwind and find the ultimate mood of RELAXED AROUSAL and my social expressivity on the night will be well underway. And I’ll only get better. I don’t have to worry about momentum and losing momentum, once I am expressive only once I go to sleep will my good mood shut down.

Girls seek arousal, I seek influence

I know that girls are built to be attracted to guys and I am built to be attracted to girls. I know that I am built with a desire to meet girls, and have trained myself to be comfortable to do so, so I see it as my responsibility to use my ability to create new social connections and interactions for myself and those less able than myself. If I use my willpower to take initiative then I will start to feel influential, fulfilled and good, I know that my influence and good feeling translates to the girls becoming aroused by me, and me transferring a state of good feelings to them. Even though I don’t feel this at the start of the night I trust (almost know) that everything will work itself out properly if I create initiative.

My Goal is to have Relaxed-Arousal.

If I want to be able to arouse girls and attract them, then I know that I need to be able to express myself in a way that directly causes their arousal. I know that I can’t cause arousal unless I have control over my own emotions; a monopoly. I know that when I enter a social situation I might be inside of my head and a little bit stressed, so I honour the two hour rule and unwind. Until all the stress fades away and I have nothing to worry about. I want to become so worry free that I am bored. And once I hit this boredom them I know I need to take action’s that interest and amuse me in order to stimulate and amuse myself. If I am stimulated and amused, I know that I will cause others to be aroused as an automatic by product of my behaviour. Relaxed Arousal makes me naturally attractive.

IF IT CAN BE DONE, I'M THE ONE THAT CAN DO IT 

In terms of ‘results from approaching and picking up girls: I have all the potential to get results but not of the expectation on myself. I have to face the fact that what I'm doing here is cold approach pick up, there are limits to what I can control from cold approaches. I’m not a rock star, I’m a ‘no-body’ to the girl when I approach her, trying to do the very difficult thing of creating something out of nothing. Yet, if it can be done, I can do it. If I can’t do it, after following all the processes I know to work and that have served me in the past, then it almost certainly couldn’t be done by anyone from cold approach in that time and place. I’m aware that this is a delusional belief system, but I’m also aware that delusional social beliefs come true... as that is the nature of the social world.

This looks scary, but I've done this before 1000 times, so I trust this time will be easier

I can pretty much expect that every time I go into a social situation I might get some initial nerves, it makes no logical sense but I can’t help it. I know I’ve been in this situation before and survived, I know that I’ve spoken with girls many times before and I survived, and I guess I will survive this time as well. It doesn’t feel like it now, but it makes sense that due to past experience and expansion of my comfort zone this time, becoming comfortable in this environment should come to me easier. 

Side note: what I actually think is ‘I’ve slept with beautiful girls before, so sleeping with another one won’t be some kind of insurmountable task, even though it might feel that way and the girl is acting as though it will be. It takes the pressure off myself and reminds myself of my life experience makes the situation I’m in look easy by comparison.

*FOCUS*

I have so much energy, enthusiasm, emotional acuity and experience. If I don’t focus these things then I will waste my potential and get completely off track. It’s easy to get off track in the complicated social world. I must remind myself to focus. Focus on the principles and skills that have worked for myself and others hundreds of times before. “I am enough, arousal not attraction, IOI is quiet and attentive; Talk, Tests, Touch”. Bare them in mind and allow them to shape my energy, enthusiasm, emotional acuity and experience. Without focus I’m wasting my ability as human being.

Sidenote: sometimes, fuck focus, go out get drunk and embrace wasting time and having fun.I'm within the range of guy that she would be attracted to.

When I see a really beautiful girl I need to remind myself that I am in the range of guys that she would be attracted to.

I groom myself properly, I go to the gym, eat well and frequent social environments. Any beautiful girl has been involved with numerous guys in her past that range in the way they look and their social standing. I can be sure that I would be within the range of types of guys she has been attracted to in the past. As a guy I could potentially be attracted to several different types of girls, I know that she, as a girl, has potential to be attracted to several different types of guys... even if she thinks she only like a certain ‘type’ of guy. There is no reason why it can’t work out between me and this girl.

In the beginning, I'm not going to be warmed up

At the start of this social night I am going to suck. I know how brilliant I can be when I’m relaxed and aroused, but I’m not relaxed-aroused yet. I know that my brilliance will come to me if I honour the natural instinct method and I simply have to endure sucking before I get good. I remember that my ability to endure sucking while I warm up takes me to a place of social skills that no-one else has the will power or wisdom to access. And that’s what’s going to make me stand out in the eyes of any girl that I meet on this night and make me naturally attractive and allow me to pick up these girls with ease.

In the beginning, she's not going to be warmed up

I know that the girls are much more nervous than me by nature and from a lack of commitment to social training and experience. Early on in the night I know that they’re been very socially stifled and defensive because they haven’t yet relaxed or warmed up. That’s to be expected, and I shouldn’t be frustrated at them for their natural flightiness. I know that my realisation that it takes them time to warm up will allow me to be patient with them and get through to them when they are in a cold social state, so that once they’ve warmed up they’ll be very enthusiastic towards me and that’s going to help me connect and get great results with hot girls.

It's a DIRTY JOB but somebody's gotta do it.

I know that girls have sex. I know that girls want to have sex. And I know that the girls I approach have sex with guys just like me. In fact girls are a little frustrated by the fact that they can’t enjoy more sex with guys who can be cool about having sex with them. I know that ‘there is no reason why I’m not enough’ and that I’m on the same level as these girls and they’re on the same level as me. I can have sex with these girls if I do something that they want a guy to do for them, be patient with them and their insecurities and fears and make them comfortable with me. Eventually they’ll go into a bed and sleep that night, so if I'm comfortable enough with the girl to hang out with her until that stage it’s going to get me very close to having sex with her. If I can’t hook up with the girl that night then I will certainly stand out as a guy who could go that far with her, and lead us to dating during the week. It’s a tough job to keep cool under the so called ‘pressure’ of a beautiful girl for an extended period of time, and a tough job to endure the non-compliance tests that she’ll throw at me, but I can handle it. And I’ll handle it for her sake, so that she can have sex with a guy who’s cool and make it an enjoyable experience for her as well.

~

All those ideas occur to me in an instant as some kind of mental noise I hear in my mind when I remind myself to focus. I literally say ‘I need to focus’ and it refreshed the process in my mind and gives power and meaning to my efforts, enthusiasm, social acuity and empathy.

Take notes on this pre flight check list and be amazed at how you feel after running these ideas through your head at the beginning of your night. 

Your goal is relaxed arousal.

Alexander~
Executive Coach

[Frustrated? Not getting results? Do a Bootcamp]