Pick Up Girls; Natural Tim Interview with Alexander 

In spring of 2010, I had the pleasure to interview a colleague of mine at Real Social Dynamics; Natural Tim.

It was good to catch up with Tim amidst his new endeavours here in Melbourne. He’s been busy with some really interesting freedom business stuff that you can check out here: Freedom Business Blog.

His work is now focused on creating your own freedom business that allows you to travel around and live the life you want. He mostly focuses on creating a business that allows you to travel and party with girls; that thing that ever guy wants, and something that fits in very nicely with RSD.

Tim has coached full time with Real Social Dynamics from 2005 until 2009. He is now involved part time where he is available to coach bootcamps in summer each year in Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Tim is certainly one of the most experienced game coaches in the world, having travelled to four continents coaching thousands of students and picking up thousands of stunning girls.

But, the most significant thing about Tim, and the thing that makes him such a valuable resource to learn from, is his breakthrough understanding of natural game.

Around 2006 when real social dynamics was making the rocky transition from mainstream tactical game to more spontaneous ‘natural game’, Tim was in Europe where he was touring around teaching bootcamps in countries that didn’t speak his native language of English. 

Due to the difficulty in technical communication, Tim’s verbal (canned or traditional) game didn’t have the same effect as it did in places like the United Kingdom, Australia and the United States.

In what Tim called the "tour of doom", out of necessity he evolved beyond structured game and learned to communicate with gorgeous girls on a deeper emotional level. Without the clarity of verbal communication, he moved away from using what he ‘said’ to be attractive to girls, and evolved towards who he was and how he led the girl to be attractive on cold approach.

On returning to America and reuniting with Tyler, he shared his findings about natural game completely reshaping the Real Social Dynamics perception of game. This change lead to Tyler’s drafting of the blueprint.

In my opportunity to speak with Tim, I wanted to quiz him about two of the most important ideas in pick up, specifically ‘what is the definition of cool?’ and ‘how does it help you to get girls?’

His answers below.



When I asked Tim what makes a guy cool, here is his paraphrased response.

"...Cool is something that comes from a guy who is firm in his vision of what he wants to have as a style, in terms of style (physical and outer) and his vision of himself in terms of the ‘inner’. The voice inside..."

Tim talks about the idea of the way you internally perceive yourself and how that can lead to being cool.  He says that it all starts with the way you think about something and it grows from there. 

We also say that the idea of being cool is not something that you can label yourself as "just be cool", that is to say that a ‘cool person’ won’t even be self aware of their ‘coolness’ but rather it will something that other people project onto them. A cool person is self-forgetting, more concerned with their goals, influence and moving forward than they are concerned with getting people to acknowledge them in the way they want to be seen.

Tim’s response to the question ‘define cool’ is extremely vague – and he elaborates on the answer over the next few videos. But, the reason for the vagueness of his answer, is that ‘cool’ is such a subjective terminology and always relative to the context it’s talked about it.

Listening to Tim talk about cool. It’s clear that it’s not the sort of thing he spends his time worrying about, which is a testament to his answer ‘that, if you say your cool – you’re not.’ In the Example of Tim, as a peer and a guy who I’ve seen in field, and in general social situations, you reach the status of cool when it’s the furthest thing from your mind. 

This is the same as saying you’re indifferent or you trust that ‘you’ll be fine’ socially. Touching on the idea that
Tim goes into that you need to have an inner voice that talks to you in a positive and empowering way.

Other elements that Tim refers to as ‘making a guy cool’ is having both a distinct sense of self , in Tim’s words “distinct personality”, and you'll have a strong frame. That is, you have solid personal boundaries and you’re un-reactive to other people trying to mess with your sense of self. Only then can you become what people recognize as cool. 

The expectation theory that Tim talks about refers to the things you expect of yourself, and the standards you set and hold yourself to.

"Where do your self-expectations come from?" I ask Tim in the next video.



Tim references ‘having a vision for yourself’ as a standard to mould your self-expectations and give you that ‘distinct personality’ which leads to having the strong frame. At the same time, the standard will give you a strong frame to retain with personal boundaries.

I meet a lot of very negative guys in the field who are out to learn pick up, but getting nowhere because they have such a distinct negative thought filter. While guys like Tim and a small fraction of the population out there do have positive self expectations and positive self visions, the vast bigger majority have a very negative self image and almost no personal expectations.

To be able to coach better and offer more value to readers and students, I wanted to know “How do you develop the positive vision and the positive expectations if you don’t already have them?”

This brings us to the profoundly important point that ‘there are two people inside of you.’ And what we mean by this is that there are two ways to think about things, positively or negatively. There is an alpha male or a beta male, a Mr. Cool or Mr. Doom.

Obviously you want to tune into the voice that listens to the greatness that’s inside of you.

The biggest difference between your positive voice and your negative voice is that the negative voice is affected by the external environment and finds itself thinking pessimistically about the situations you’re in. The positive voice (Mr. Awesome) talks to you in an empowering way, to the point of delusion – “if there’s anyone in this club that can get that girl, it’s me.” 

You have two voices inside you, and you need to actively check the right voice into your game to help you navigate your situation. To quote Tim “we all have a Mr. Doom Voice, but you have to push the chode way back into the distance.”

To test the validly of Tim’s point, I propose that there is always a battle between the positive voice and the negative voice as to which of these two consciences drives your behavior. Tim’s response is that there is no option (which is true in his reality), but for so many guys they find it so hard to conjure up a positive voice and all the good flow on repercussions that come from using it.

Which brings us to the point of discipline. 

You have a choice, do you want to pay attention to the good self talk, or ignore it? It’s the same as sticking to a diet plan or a savings plan. It’s about making hard choices. Being a guy who can make hard choices of discipline and stick to them, is the exact essence of an alpha male and everything you need to make you a naturally attractive guy.

But how do you develop that discipline? We discuss it next.



Straight onto part four…



The way you are as a guy is the way the girl is going to instantly sense you. The way you approach the girl is the way the girl can expect to have a life with you. If you’re not a fun guy when you’re approaching, then the girl can expect that you’re not a fun guy on a date or relationship. If you are a fun guy with a strong sense of self and a good reality, then the girl can expect to get good feeling from you on date and in the future.

If you dont yet have the mental discipline to project yourself attractively when you approach, don’t worry. You’ll see clear opportunities on a day-to-day basis where you have the choice to make  a positive alpha-male decision or negative beta-male decisions. 

The decision making alpha-mindset needs to be something that applies to you as a whole, not just to one certain context of your life. It’s much easier to be an overall decisive disciplined person than it is to micromanage different parts of your life.

That way, when you do get into the pickup context it’s automatic that you’re an alpha guy and attractive and your mindset shows through in the form of your behavior and the way you run and retain interactions.

Discipline driven decisions range from easy choices like ‘not skipping work’ to much harder choices like ‘breaking off a relationship because you are staying it more for a sense of security more than you actually enjoy the person’s company.’ 

What you want to do is train yourself so that you think the right way all the time, so this way you can automatically continue to think and behave the right way when you’re infield approaching girls. The girls you approach will sense that you are the alpha male type of guy immediately.

Decision making processes like ‘I should go over there and start expressing myself instead of standing behind my drink’ or ‘I should go out on a limb and escalate instead of being happy with a boring nice interaction.’

Eventually, both in your personal life and in your pickup life you’ll take interactions as far as they can go at that time. You’ll have girls thinking about you the right way all the time. Eventually pickup stops being a stressful grind, and you start to get the really cool ‘whoosh’ effect that Tim spoke about in the flawless natural. 

That’s when you start to experience real natural game.

Though, you should listen to the positive voice that tells you that from the beginning!



“So in conclusion, it’s all a basketball game. YOU’RE THE COACH, check the right guy into the game.”

So many past students’ personal transformations are a testament to this metaphor of behavioral control.
“At any point you can make a decision and be alpha male, and be instantly recognized as making the right decision.”

While you might not get this totally right at first, if you can just make the mindset shift, then people are going to instantly begin to receive you better.

While you might not ‘get it’ just yet, it will be clear to the people around you that ‘you’re on the right track.’ When people can see you moving in the right direction, as Tim says here, you can get away with a lot during the times of transformation into a better guy. You will get the benefit of the doubt when people go to interpret you and the intentions behind your behavior.

Instead of girls thinking ‘even though he said cool things, he’s not a cool guy – good bye’ people will begin to think ‘he really fucked up, and was so awkward and nervous, but I loved the way he went for it – he can have another chance.’ This will lead your transformation and much better pickup results.

Transformation from average chode to naturally attractive guy is what we describe as changing your congruence.

In the context of self actualization and pickup behaviors, you want to focus on three channels: your mindset,
your emotions, and your behaviors.

Usually, if you read this, then you consciously change your mindset. When you consciously change your mindset, then you change the way you behave. Those new behaviors will lead to new experiences, from which you will begin to feel differently about those experiences.

When you have totally made the shift from Mr. Chode to Mr. Awesome, your mindset, behavior,s and emotions will eventually reshape and re-align, and that is when the game will start to play itself for you. 

You can then enjoy the rewards of a new and enhanced naturally attractive self. The example that Tim and I hope to show you in this video and the other video’s on his website www.freedombusinessblog.com/alexattitude, and my channel www.youtube.com/RSDalexander

So that concludes the Natural Tim Interview. The most important thing to learn from these videos is that Tim doesn’t even consider himself cool; he’s too busy becoming a better person and seeking to have a good time, which is exactly what makes him cool. So for the readers and watchers, continue to work on yourself and look for new and fun experiences.

And of course, notice the way he conducts himself here. Even now years from  the filming of transformations and the Flawless Natural he’s still as expressive, chilled, positiv,e and self assured as ever.
The kind of vibe that you can get from all RSD instructors, especially Tim, is not something you can interpret in micro-calibrations or by studying sub-communications. His vibe is something you can only get from seeing how he ‘is’. A great why to get a better idea of his vibe is to watch some of these interview videos without the sound on.

For the latest example of how Tim has evolved since this interview in 2010 is on his new website; Freedom Busines Blog.

Like I said at the start of the interview, in all my travels I rank this guy as one of the two best sources I am yet to still learn from.

Hope you’ve enjoyed it!

Check out more Tim here: Freedom Business Blog, www.flawlessnatural.com and www.naturaltim.com.

Alexander~
Executive CoachReal Social Dynamics.
[Frustrated? Do a Bootcamp]