About me:



Happy Memorial Day!

It's my last week here in the Unites States. Went to my first Hollywood party with Tyler last week. It was freaking Amazing. Gorgeous girls everywhere. Hollywod parties are by far the best I've ever been to. Stretched Escalade Limousines, dozens of girls in cocktail dresses and high high heels. And the best thing is because Hollywood is so edgy everyone has AWESOME social skills. From my point of view it was awesome to go somewhere where EVERYONE was socially advanced. It's fucken hard to get into those parties... but if you can ever figure your way into one.. holy shit... it's awesome. Hooked up with MULTIPLE five star girls that I though were stunning. Tyler... I want to live in LA. Please? Please?

Anyway... My last week here in the Unites States Of America! 

I'm Running a Bootcamp in Atlanta with Tyler AKA dexter from RSD this weekend. Go there, do the hotseat and learn from two of the most committed game coaches in the world right now! email Support@realsocialdynamics.com to get on the program. No more Alexander in America for a loooooooong time.

Oh... and by the way... My hotseat will commence in November. If your interested email Support@realsocialdynamics.com for preliminary info about the cites and dates I'll be running it. Your chance to see the game I've been lovingly talking about here is almost now.

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And now an article and video, all the way from Harvard, where I bought a sweater, so I can finally appear to have actually graduated from Harvard, which I've been telling girls for years.

 

You are training to be high value.

I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but after reading this article you’ll never be motivated to approach a girl again... or should I say, a girl will never motivate you to approach her ever again.

I’m terribly sorry. 

Think of it this way; have you ever had a crush on a girl? Yes I’m sure you have. Think of that girl’s name. On a scale of one to ten recall how frustrating having that crush was. The feelings of inferiority and helplessness the crush on that girl gave you. Maybe you spent nights tossing and turning, ‘doing your head in’ (Australian for ‘losing your mind’) thinking about why you aren’t good enough to approach her, or date her, or spend time with her the way you so would so dearly love to, if only you had the chance.

Maybe you became so motivated towards this girl you had a crush on that you did something extreme, like made a huge effort and put your heart on the line by sending her flowers, declaring your love, or working up all your confidence just to talk to her and ask her out – only to be ignored, rejected and heartbroken. Devastated that the girl you had a crush on didn’t reciprocate your extreme feelings. She rightfully put you into your place as a fucking chode. Evidence from reality that you suck, you can’t get a girl like her. All you can do is sit around thinking about what could have never been. Thinking about how much of a loser you must be. Or maybe your crush on this girl drove you to do something even more desperate after your initial failure or rejection. 

Maybe you became obsessive towards the girl and embarrassed yourself further, wasting time and money and thought and emotion, only to get nowhere with the girl you have a crush on, breaking your bank and breaking your heart. Finally you acknowledging to yourself that you have no hope.

On a scale of one to ten how intense were those emotions that your version of these events made you feel? Nine or ten out of ten?

Now think, on a scale of one to ten, how hot was that girl you had a crush on, compared to Miranda Kerr or Rosie
Huntington-Whitely? The lead Victoria’s Secret girls and the Star from Transformers 3.

Think about it. Maybe a 7-8? In some cases just a 6 out of ten. How can you get emotions that are disproportionately intense for a girl – who you don’t even intimately know?

Think of the point in time when your frustrated negative emotions for the girl you had a crush on became the most intense. Re-live those fucked up emotions... go back to your teenage/collage years. 

Here’s the reality check. Think of the same time you first laid eyes on that girl. Try to think of the very first time the photons from the physical world bounced off her body and onto your retina for you to form your first perception of that girl. 

At that point in time, how strong were your emotions for that girl, who I’m sure, was aesthetically attractive? Maybe you can’t even remember the very first time you laid eyes on her. Which is strange considering how intensely frustrated she eventually made you. 

My guess is that when you first saw the girl, you noticed that she was statistically attractive, BUT YOU FELT NOTHING TOWARDS HER. 

Did you approach her when you first saw her? I’m guessing no, probably because you didn’t know anything about cold approach pick up. But if you went on to eventually have all these intense crush emotions why didn’t you approach this girl in the first place?

Because it natural to feel NOTHING when you first see a girl. She won’t instantly give you some massive rush of emotions. Sure you might notice that she’s attractive, but it won’t be anything deeper than an aesthetic noticing.
It was only over some time that you developed any emotions towards that girl. It’s only after seeing her at school, or college, or work day after day for a few weeks that the chode feeling of ‘the crush’ built up inside of you.It takes a few weeks for you to see past her initial imperfections, or start to notice her personality and expressiveness that your emotions start to warm up towards her.

That’s right, a few weeks for your crush, or any girl for that matter, to emotionally motivate you one little bit. But by that stage it’s too late, you’ve already putting her on a pedestal, living in emotional reaction to her and projecting things onto her dreamt up from your imagination. Not traits of the girl herself. 

So, now that you realise that it will take a few weeks for any girl to emotionally motivate you how the fuck can you be motivated to cold-approach a girl in a bar? There really is no point. 

Think of the last time you were in field and you saw a gorgeous girl, and you thought ‘I know I could approach, but I’m just not that motivated, I just don’t really care enough to go over there and make it happen – even though she’s really hot.’

And I know that you probably **could** go over there and do a really good job of running an interaction where you talked plenty, stayed in set and established physical rapport. 

I know, because I feel exactly the same way at first. I don’t give a shit about a single girl in the bar I see. Ever.(Unless I think she’s Swedish, in that case I want to practise speaking Swedish with her, because I really like their culture for some unbeknownst reason.)

Why have you been approaching then? I’m SURE it’s because you went out to expand your comfort zone, work on your game and prove something to yourself – validate yourself or prove to yourself that you can fuck more girls.Are you fucking kidding? How’s that going for you?!? Inconsistent and shit I bet.

That is some of the most sociopathic reasons I’ve I can image to start an interaction with a person. 

Alas, I used to think exactly the same way. Until I got into the headspace that I could approach any girl and do a pretty good job, but I just didn’t have the motivation in my heart for some reason, because these girls were meaningless to me at the first instance of seeing them.

But UNDERSTAND how awesome this realisation is? This is your first taste of high value. Exactly what you want to get out of this pick-up industry. This kind of realisation can only come with some field experience. So if you’ve had it congratulate yourself. 

Just think... If you don’t care about any girl, as hot or as gorgeous as she is upon first laying eyes on her that is the perfect frame for cold approach.

Once you get this, you can approach any girl of any hotness, carefree and indifferent to the outcome of the interaction. 

These are emotional traits of an abundant guy. Stop and think about it and smile. You are getting a sense of a high-value frame. You are the buyer, the one deciding if other’s have value to you or not.Stop and soak up this idea. Enjoy it, acknowledge it and make this feeling your own - because it’s exactly what you want to internalise. 

You are training to become automatically high-value. The way you want to eventually feel is that you value your own time, option and intentions over anybody else’s. Not because you are selfish, but because as an alpha male with a strong reality and the king of your own world you value other people, but not as much as you value yourself.Unfortunately this means that people, including gorgeous girls you approach, wont measure up to the standards you have for yourself, especially in the first moments of meeting them. 

Girls are out there LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO THINKS THIS WAY, strong in himself and never satisfied. HERE IS THE BIT THAT’S GOING TO HELP YOU GET BETTER AT COLD APPROACH PICK UP.Once you start to feel these feelings it comes with a weird plateau of sticking points. Its a classive step in the transition from low-value to high-value.

Once you get to the point where you know you could approach, but you don’t really find the motivation, you start to have new kinds of issues with the girls that you approach. You often think that they’re immature, or attention seekers, insecure, boring, or aesthetically imperfect.

REALISE THAT YOU HAVE BECOME WHAT YOU WANTED TO TRANSFORM INTO: HIGH-VALUE. 
Now that you’re high-value expect all these things. And, your newfound value will actually bring out a girl’s boring, immature, insecure, attention seeking side. In the same way that high-value people used to make you self-conscious, now you’re the one making girls self-conscious just by approaching, staying in set and initiating physical rapport.

Welcome to the burdens of high value. Haha, in this realm of personal evolution other people simply can’t inspire you as much as you inspire yourself. Boo-hoo.

How then, once you’re in this headspace, can you actually find any motivation to approach, stay in set and remain patient to immature, imperfect, boring girls?

The answer is the same thing that motivates every man. Not ‘getting the girl in order to prove to yourself that you’re good at pick up’. The answer is INFLUENCE.

You have to suck it up and accept the burdens of high-value. Get over the sadness of never having a crush again and turn you attention to influence.

So now, imagine this: when you approach you realise the gorgeous girls you approach don’t have anything that you can’t get for yourself. You don’t care how they act towards you because you are truly above it. If they appear to love you and dote on you it’s funny and cute. If they appear to hate you and ‘act mean’ to you you’re above it and you find it funny and cute. Funny and cute, because you realise that these gorgeous girls can’t validate you in anyway, nor can they diminish your self-image in any way. 

Congratulate yourself, you’re emotionally bulletproof. You are enough.

Focus instead on the way you influence them. Know that they love arousal – living in reaction of high-value and becoming emotionally compelled by it. They way your ‘chode crush’ self used to. Influence them by lightly teasing them and watching them get all pissy at you – but becoming more engaged in you. Compliment their personality, and watch their egos inflate and their eyes widen as they feel validated by a stronger sense of reality than their own. Give them emotion and arousal as a fun gift, something that they can only get and enjoy from a guy of high-value.

As an alpha male high-value guy it’s the most amazing feeling to watch as a girl falls under your influence and you give her a rich experience of a range of emotions that excites her and makes her heart race. It’s like you don’t even care if she eventually has sex with you or not, because you’ve already got what you wanted out of the interaction, good intentioned arousing influence over her.

How do you think this dynamics makes the girl feel towards you? You don’t want validation from sex with her, you’re truly emotional indifferent toward her, and all that motivates you is to turn her on and watch her react.By the way, this isn’t being ‘reaction seeking’ (we talk about it on Bootcamp) it’s called ‘being influence seeking’, the same actions, but from a place of high-value and giving, not low-value and taking.

Realise the fulfilment of influence seeking helps you get past all the intermediate game sticking points. Influence seeking allows you to be patient with a gorgeous girl’s immaturity. Influencing the girl helps you to spend enough time with her to see past her aesthetic imperfections, which all girls (people) have.

The longer you hold an influencing frame the more you get to know a girl, and through her reactions to you, you start to see the charming and innocent side of who she really is. It’s always so exciting when you start to get to know a girl beyond her ‘bitchy’ persona that she projects out of defensiveness in the bar.

Importantly, being influence seeking from a place of high-value that you’ve evolved into helps you accept that even thought girls might be less mature, interesting, funny or as secure as you, they are absolutely gorgeous and sweet in the way the start to look to you for reassurance, excitement and their source of a good time. When you get through to that side of a girl she usually becomes confident and fun and affectionate. Translated into the context of cold approach pick up, this is when you start to get laid. This is when cold approach pick-up can start to work phenomenally well.

And just like with the girls you used to get a crush on, because you have a newfound patience, you spend more time with the girl and you can start to form emotions for her. Not desperate, needy emotions; emotions of influence, leadership and fulfilment. 

Time is your ally.

This is called the man-in-her-life frame.

So next time you’re about to leave set, because you think the set is going nowhere, or because the girls is imperfect, because she’s less confident  than you or because she’s more awkward than you, stop and give yourself a reality check. You are what you always wanted to become; high-value. Stop expecting any kind of validation from the girl, and stop taking any of her negativity seriously. Turn your attention to the things that will motivate you and propel your sets further towards connection and intimacy. Influence her with a full range of emotion. Enjoy influence while she enjoys arousal. Enjoy picking-up girls.

It’s how you go from being intermediately good at pick up, to becoming very good at pick up. 

Have fun, and enjoy your newfound motivation towards girls and the fun and affection that comes with it.

You are high-value now. 

Alexander~ 

Executive Coach.

[Check my where I’ll be next to find out when I’m doing a Bootcamp in your part of the world]

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