Finally the sun is out in Sweden! So I’m sitting in McDonald's with colorful Australian board shorts and writing articles, but also thinking about summit in Vegas. The idea of summit is detracting from my living in the moment. It’s a pleasant fantasy -- so it’s ok.
Summit is something that I like, something that I personally like. That ‘like’ of summit is an expression of my personality.
Having ‘personality’ IS your natural game content. It doesn’t actually matter what the fact or content is. It just matters that you have content. Of course, avoid being overly rude or offensive in the things you say. Remember that if what you do can’t be comprehended by your recipients, you won’t be comprehended by your recipients. Have empathy. Be responsive.
It’s worth pointing out that any expression of personality that falls into the category of ‘social faux pas’ is an extremely arousing topic of conversation or natural expression content.
Personality and having personality is an observer’s way to tell if you are an alpha male or a beta male. If you are an alpha male, you are attractive. If you are beta, you have no chance*. The distinct difference is that alpha males think for themselves and therefore have infinite potential to continually express themselves and arouse the girls or people they interact with. People react to alpha males, making them high value. People don’t react to beta males, making them lower value.
People with personality offer value. Those with no personality take value, usually in the case of liking other peoples' personalities, opinions and ideas better than their own.
This isn’t about the differences in alpha male and beta male psychology; it’s about developing a personality and finding avenues to express it.
If you’re lacking in personality, it might be from too much self help, entrenched bad habits from being a beta male all your life or because you have never been in a position of independence or authority. Several of these reasons used to be true for me and it’s true for a lot people looking to transform themself into a more attractive person.
I meet guys in the community with NO personality. Poor cardboard cut-outs of people who are like the death eaters from Harry Potter -- no opinions of their own, no personal boundaries, no stories, no open mindedness. These guys are truly a burden to spend time with – it’s like they are dead on the inside.
Then there is another category of people who use others' personalities as their own. Sometime I’ll coach a guy or talk to a guy after a workshop and everything that we talk about he will mention things like ‘that’s what Tucker Max does’, or ‘Tyler said this’ or ‘Anthony Robbins recommends this’. These are crutches for a lack of personality. Beware of falling into this pattern.
But if you don’t know how to walk, crutches are a good means by which to transition from total disability to ability. Then eventually towards Olympic athleticism.
Now, in having a personality you have to remember it’s usually a logically meaningless thing – it’s illogical. It’s like a party; there is no point. It’s simply a fun thing. Girls are arousal junkies – that’s why they like to party. Girls are arousal junkies – that why they like personality.
That said, your personality is a fluid and changing thing. You can express yourself in any way at any time. Lie or tell the truth. They are both just different forms of expression that serve to arouse and offer value, not only for your audience and interactions but also a creative expression for yourself.
Think of people – the social world – ‘as a verbal canvas upon which to express yourself’. If you’re stifled, it’s ugly and bleak. But if you’re authentic and variable in your expression, then your personality is a beautiful work of art. Something that you will be proud of and something that others will be drawn to and admire.
If you are worried about your changing forms of expression being a fluctuating and therefore weak reality don’t stress. The base of your reality comes from your nature which is composed of biological, evolutionary and physiological things that are set in stone (or deoxyribonucleic acid). Stone that gives you a rock-solid underlying strength of reality. That natural self is PRESENT, POSITIVE-DOMINANT and A MAN OF ACTION.
If you want to be assured that your expressions are congruent with who you are, ensure they are either coming from a place of presence, positivity, dominance or actions/initiative and you can be sure that you are expressing ‘from the right place’.
That also means that virtually any form of personality expression can also be attractive. For example, the most passive and positive smalltown Church folk can have attractive personalities to women. While ruthless, murdering, drug dealers can also have attractive personalities. Point is: anyone can do it.
So how can you tap into your personality? Find out about yourself. In the field, the more you talk to other people, the more you realize you are the fixed variable between everyone you meet and so the more you learn about yourself. Also, with each relationship you form the longer that relationship lasts and the more you emotionally invest into that relationship (with a guy or a girl – friends or lovers) the more you learn about yourself. So, when learning natural instincts aim to gather experiences and durations of interactions to make the fastest personal development progress.
Admittedly, while you learn you will travel along a certain maturity curve and continually come closer and closer into congruence with PRESENCE, POSITIVE-DOMINACE and BEING A MAN OF ACTION. So keep an eye out for that.
As an example, Oceans’ 11-13 are great movies to see cases of multiple dudes with different personalities, but are all still attractive. This is due to the fact that expression is the common denominator driving attraction, not other more superficial attributes.
But to save you some significant time in terms of field experience and long interactions, stop and think about yourself. Interview yourself. Have you ever had someone interview you and just because they took the time to ask the searching questions you learned some deeper answers about yourself.
Some ‘come to think of it…I am…’ moments.
FOR EACH READER HERE IS AN EXERCISE – TAKE FIVE MINUTES OR FIVE DAYS. In fact it's probably good if you do it once quickly within five minutes then carry the exercise around with you for a week thinking about it.
Now, I could have chosen any number of questions or any other list of questions but these sort of questions explore topics that touch people on a very, personal level.
Notice as well that the questions below are more ‘future and hypothetical’ oriented. This gives you open content that can be explored and expressed, leading to deeper and longer interactions. Future and hypothetical topics are far superior compared to closed content ‘past and literal’ topics where the answers are definite and have far, less potential to arouse.
Notice as well that the content isn’t all rainbows and flowers -- the other side of your personality is your personal boundaries. Having boundaries fortifies your reality and value. A combination of ‘likes and dislikes’ gives you the essential ‘full range of emotions' you need to be arousing.
Copy the questions below, press respond to this post and answer these very personal questions to tap into your personality. If you have issues with this, you have discovered a blindspot in your ability to naturally and attractively express yourself and I would professionally recommend you spend some time soul searching and developing yourself. This was something I had to do to become a guy who could offer value.
1. If you had an extra hour in the day what would you do with it?
2. Why that?
3. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
4. Why that?
5. If you could invite 4 people to dinner who would they be?
6. Why them?
7. If you could travel to any place in the world where would it be?
8. Why that place?
9. What is your dream job?
11. What is you most important personal boundary that MUST NOT BE CROSSED?
13. Who inspired/s you?
14. How did they inspire you?
15. How would you like to influence the world?
16. Why that mode, and why that level of influence?
17. If you were only allowed to own one CD which would it be?
19. What makes you the most emotionally upset?
21. If you could fight anyone who would it be?
22. Why them?
23. Which charity are you most interested in supporting?
25. If you could be famous or infamous for anything what reason would it be?
27. What are two of your idiosyncrasies?
28. What are two idiosyncrasies of other people that piss you off?
29. How to love to relax?
*Unless you’re rich and you’re in Amsterdam and the girl is shrouded in red light.