Alaix1985's Blog

 
Okay, heres the "sit" i met this girl at the bar/club last weekend. It seemed on, i had her smiling and there was some early kino. i kept going up and talking getting some laughter and than would leave. i did this about three times. however, on the last as i was talking to her friends, she turned her back to me, almost as though she was telling me "your not paying attention to me" and i looked at her, than back to the friend, the friend gave me a weird look, same one on my face. I know this was a shit test of sorts. so i poked her side and said something like "hey whats up" got some more converstion, than split immediately. im not sure how i should have handled this test, i know i could have done a better job. anyways. as my buzz was wearing off, and my money was depleted, i started to lose state rapidly, than i decided to bail. however, as i was in my car, i kept hearing ozzie in my head saying "close" so i went back in the club, with this determination on my face, walked up to the girl and got her number. i wasnt going to lose this one. so i know its not a full on makeout, but its still something.

any thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated.
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#1
Trentman

Trentman

Member

Join Date: 03/26/2011 | Posts: 92

 No suggestions sorry but props for going back and closing :)
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#2
The Struggler

The Struggler

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/21/2011 | Posts: 129

Ditto on the going back bro.


Would I be right in thinking you're asking this question because you want to know how to 'best handle the situation', rather than asking, because you wanted 'this specific girl'?

Assuming you care about 'the situation' (not the girl) a couple of things you 'might' want to mull over as food for thought are...

If you 'respond' to her shit test, isn't she leading you, not you leading her?
But, if you feel you must have a tool/strategy to deal with shit tests, rather than 'ask' what's wrong, or make fluff conversation (where it's obvious that your responding to her shit test) wouldn't it be better to call her on that shit?
I don't mean start cursing and stuff, I mean control the frame, lead; be masculine.

Example:
* Explain how you know what she's doing (pouting to 'seek attention' etc.) -- shows social savy, implies you can read her like a book (this is big, for a number of reasons).
* Express that you 'kind' of like her, but you're not sure (you don't know her well enough yet) -- flips the situation on its head, she now has to react to you, not you chasing her (which was she was trying to achieve with the shit test)
* That you'd like to hang out some more but...
* The pouting school girl shit isn't acceptable. This is a social place. Your being social. You have friends and people you want to talk to -- You should only really say her behaviour isn't acceptable (in a firm but fair way), if you start giving 'reasons' then you qualifying yourself to her (seeking 'her' approval of 'your' reasons).
* Let her know if she breaks the rules, that you'll walk away and actually do so if she carrys on -- you can always game her another day (if she's that special). In all likelyhood she'll come up to you being all shy or appologetic.


Alternatively, if you don't feel like you must deal with the shit test; carry on gaming other women, which subcommunicates a lot of things:
* That you have options -- abundance mentality vs. scarcity
* That you won't pander or chase after her like an AFC -- chasing, in most forms, is a DLV, to her, and creates a frame where you act/feel like an AFC or Chode.
* It can create a strong jealousy affect
etc.

If you want to talk to her, hitter back up, but do it for your own reasons at a time of your choosing (not hers).

In a nutshell strive to be the leader, not the lead.

[Hope there's something in there that's helpful to you.]
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