Computer geek bored with computers. Took me a while to figure out that humans are fun too!
Had two almost consecutive LTRs in last 5 years, now free, happy and enjoying peacefulness and celibacy.
My NLP trainer told me that whatever I get I try to implement and test. Which is true in most cases. In some I still got some anxiety to overcome. Constantly reprogramming myself to get to the core.
These are few notes from a workshop of an unnamed PUA company.
The workshop ended with an exercise building up high energy euphoric state and followed by hard sell of their bootcamp.
Shame on you guys.
- attraction -> investment
leadership - not pushy, take weight off by giving options leading to the desired result
preselection - if you are already with women other would respond more positively - people look to others to see what's hot, have female friends as social proof, talk with staff at places when u go there with a girl she would see that they like you
displays of excellence - come from the point of excellence, high value, knowing you're good at stuff will help you w/ confidence
social intelligence - be calibrated in a group, don't leave out anybody
ambition - when u wanna be, where you're going
you can't call yourself a driver if you drive only on the first gear
qualification - gradual escallation. don't freak out with querstions like "tell me sth interesting about you"
start with low pressure questions
comfort - the best way -give sth without wanting anything bac
- add value to their life; come from "how can I help this person?"
listen - don't think about next routine or what to say - that would be an investment in her
show genuine interest in what they do
be completely outcome independent
"what do i really want to know about that person"
if she feels she has a aconnection and invested in you you'll get a solid close
trivial questions leading to big qualifiers; people don't qualify
use pauses to not get into interview frame - pauses encourage to develop answers
don't neg on compliance
if you don't have job you'd do sth about that
if you don't have a place to live you'd do sth about that
if you don't have a choice with women why you'd not do sth about that
that seminar won't fix your life
"one of these days I'll be ready for that scary women out there"
McCoys 10 GBP guide to adult sevices in London
NO MORE MINGERS
there is always another level no matter where you are
when you read on pick-up you become an academic on pick-up
you don't know how to calibrate that stuff if you don't go out
where there is discomfort there is growth
3 fundamental ares of life 3Cs
1- condition - health, body, mind; what emotions do you experience on daily basis; do you look good, feel good; what do you feel when you wake up in the morning
2- calling(s) - whatever you chose to do with the time you're given; looking for passion is destructive; you have to do it in a way that fits your criteria
3- connections - any relationship with other human beings, everyone that you have privilege to ineract with
- if 1 & 2 is not too goot it makes much harder to be good with 3
- you have to have these 3 areas handled
- if you have problem with connections it impacts condition and calling
- if connections are not right it poisons everything else
- get it sorted
quality is not an accident
to be better with people you need to meet people
state change move - kinestetical anchor (vide NLP) to put you in state
there are only 2 options you can take: you can either wait or you can create
- you are either waiting for opportunity or creating it
- there are 2 types of people: waiters & creators
pain of regret is stronger than pain of rejection.
- creators always know.
- waiters regret that they don't now the answer
what am i going to do in this moment. i gonna wait or create?
do you want to die unfulfilled and unsatisfied?
COMFORT IS A FUCKING NINJA OF NOT TAKING ACTION
COMFORT IS A MOTHER OF INACTION
IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
there is always a next level
we assume that we have time
we don't, it's limited
there is nothing in 15 minutes, your only moment of power is NOW
IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO HANDLE THAT ARE YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS
you get nothing when you wait
you can't put whipped cream on a turd to make it better
rules of mindset:
* first reactions don't count - you have to plow through everything; you have to have balls to push through
- she will go off her way to affect you - because she wants to see what you're made of
* it's numbers hame - it's about practice; rejection gives you a reference point; rejection keeps you grow
you are never confident and ready enough!
first you do the thing you're scared of then you get the confidence
create not wait
it would be weird if you're not scared
how to act when you're scared? - change your state
outcome dependancy make decisions harder
get rid of reasons why outcome is important
you're not everyone's cup of tea and we're not trying to do that
not everyone has to like me [i'm not a green dollar not everybody has to like me]
if you put everything in motion you can't fail
RAMP to next level
R - Roadmap: where are you going? why are you here?; roadmap is necessary to get yout here, buy you need to knmow
where do you want to go?
you need to be connected to result
if you get disillusioned that means you're not connected or you've lost the connection
- possitive emotional connection with the goal
- negative connection with where you are
you have to be pissed off
don't allow saying "it's not that bad"
gym analogy to pick up
3 levels of confidence - surface, mid, core
waiters never get where they wanted and the convince themselves that is "not that bad"
M - Mentor; find someone who already done it
3 principles of finding mentor
1 - they should now the roadmap inside-outl be an expert
2 - person should be so hig up as it is possible to get
3 - proximity is power - the closer you are to that person the most of their believes and staff would soak up
total trust in the mentor
with the mentor you need only to show up and he tells you what to do
mentor will see what's wrong
A - Accountability; with it you would execute towards results; mentor can give you that;
If i would have a wingman I would do it - waiter attitude. creator - finds a source of accountability
most of people wouldn't hold you accountable, because they haven't got that area sorted
P - Peer group; I chose who influences my life. My peers are people who I proactively chose.
Good peer group:
You: "I pulled a hot girl last night"
PG: "ONLY ONE?!" ;)
it raises levels
they're better than you or they're as hungry as you
no-one makes to the top alone
the best approch is to get fully immersed to get quickly transformed
I landed after corporate party in a club with bunch of colleagues. Only one girl among us, welcome to IT corp ;) She's chatting with one dude. I tell her: sko dancing. She argues. No sko dancing. She argues more. I tell her: your weird. what's wrong with you. She says some bs. No sko dancing, grabbed her by hand lifted from the couch.
Rest of group chodes with their drinks. No. I can't let this happen. Sko dancing guys. No we don't want to. No? Grab first guy by his arm, lifted up, tossed him on the dancefloor. Four left. His friend. Three left. My buddy. Two left. Guys, can I politely ask you to join us? Some bs. I don't listen. Lift, toss. Done. Whole crew dancing. My state is massive, 4 glasses of wine, two shots of rum, red bull. Forcefully leading people to where I want them to be. Love it. One guy quietly goes back to the couch. No no no. I grab him. He tries to resist. My buddy grabs him. Tap tap on my shoulder. Bouncer: WTF? I tell him 'it's okay' I am smiling. He backs off. Cool. I bump into one chick, she looks stoned/very drunk. Pretty empty look in her eyes. One Indian dude dances with her. Like with a proper frame. I split their hands. Grab her right hand. Spin her around. Dude doesn't know what's up. Backs of. I spin her, I dance around her. She follows me everywhere. I don't say anything. I leave the girl. Come back to my people. Come back to the girl. She's in between that Indian guy and his buddy, they've their arms over her shoulders, I come from the back, lift their arms. Grab her shoulders turn her around. Grab her hand. Spin around. Here we go again. Buddy of the Indian guy gives me thumbs up. They back off. I don't give a damn about the chick, just amusing myself. Glorious. Chick has confusion on her face, empty eyes. I am getting bored. I look for the Indian guy. He jumps around on my left. I grab his hand. Her hand. I join their hands. They're sooo confused. I am leaving to my people.
I can have in-the-moment self-amusing fun and not care what people say. That's a bit alcohol driven. But I was still below the threshold after which I can't coordinate my movements.
I can lift 80kg man with one hand and throw him somewhere. Results of hitting gym regularly. Maybe I should moonlight there as a bouncer. Hehe.
I shared some material with a coworker - gesture of compassion, cause he was and is quite socially awkward.
Few weeks later, he insulted my good girl-friend and myself. He tried to turn the whole thing into joke (not quite funny) and well he got removed from mine and her reality. Lately, like months later, he surfaced in a discussion with other people and she said "It was quite weird. He came to me and was talking about 'lots of seduction tapes' he [she points at me] has and some other random stuff". I had to make an effort not to burst into laughter at this point.
Moral: #1 rule of fight club, and when you forget #2 rule of fight club and shit happens it is so outside of the reality that it does not matter at all.
I'm from eastern Europe, salsa is a quite different culture for me, well for where I come from, so the cuban stereotype doesn't work for me like for you danniel.vm ;) Anyway now it is a part of having good fun.
I left primary school with a belief put on by my music teacher that I can't feel the rhythm right. It took me a while to get the whole dancing thing sorted out in my head. Honestly, first dance classes really pissed me off. Sucked big time. After a while it went to unconscious competence. I am still beginner, though, but the most of the fancy figures you'd do your partner doesn't know what do you expect from her to do anyway.
Good fun night: Pumped up state with a hot chick spinning with you. Pure honey.
Oh, and BTW: salsa classes are like speed dating squared: you're not in the loud club pick-up frenzy frame, you're not in approach-stranger-in-public-space or speed-dating-awkwardness frames neither, your instructor makes you switch partners quickly (so you won't be stuck with that clingy fatty), there are some hotties from time to time, you've got the approaching sorted out, no openers needed, you're already in physical contact. So GTFO of here to your nearest salsa school! :D
That Thursday workshop changed things. like really changed. thanks go to guys I've been with - opening all those chicks throughout the whole evening whils having you as wingmen skewed my attitude big time. kudos! I am more playful, laid back. Cool.
Tonight was really weird. I took a girl I know, her boyfriend and one other dude to a salsa place tonight. Her boyfriend didn't want to dance, so naturally I took care of the lass ;) Awesome sexy dancing. Gods, I had to remind myself that I can't escalate this because of that dude. Great fun, pure physical dancing, I loved it. DHVing on these two other guys, couldn't help it: dance or GTFO. just couldn't make it more sexual, it just wouldn't be right. could though easily happen. awesome. could have hit on other girls in this place, but it's more about enioyment of being present and its worth rather than whole pick-up shit.
Salsa, bachata, merengue. Learn it guys. Even if you don't use it, it would give you completely different perspective on the dancefloor, on how you move, on your body's capabilities. That's pure gold.
London workshop rocked! Papa said some really inspiring stuff! Good fun on Leicester Sq opening random sets. Hugging girls and stuff. Didn't know how to escalate though. Word of advice from Ozzie - briefly: be physical from the very first seconds of interaction. And I was using the CLAW OF DESTINY later in the club. Great field experience with the crew from Brighton. Kudos guys! Still got to learn lots lots lots. But hey I am just starting :) Things to work on: approach more, CLAW more, cut the logical shit and work on girls emotions - that really sucked yesterday I ran out of stuff to say and chicks were losing interest.
Observations: some hotties from Finland, Austria and Sweden, are ...well... smokin hotties! :)
EDIT: And haha I opened a first family set ever! Cute spanish chick with her parents. Her dad wasn't terribly happy. LOL
Last night was like on a shooting range. Meet up with colleagues, started to chat with an East European girl, friend of one of the colleagues. Bang! Middle of my sentence she talks to somebody else. We're getting to club early. People are slowly filling the place. English girl dancing beside me, I turn her around, say hello. Too strong. Bang. Done. Cute girl, seems to be Polish (like half of the club, ask her where she's from. Got answer "from England" (but in Polish), don't know what to say and her friend says something I don't understand. Ask her to repeat. Still no clue, not even what language was that! Lost them. Other cutie. I move forward to her. Bang, boyfriend. Great.
Was fun though. I had to push myself to actually approach. So, got my comfort zone a bit more spacious now ;)
I find it hard to get what people are saying when I talk with them in the club. It's too loud and I can't focus on words and lose them. Dunno why.