Last night I was supposed to have dinner and catch up on Family Guy and It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia with my buddy Nick, then head out to the bar down the street for club night where there is always a nice mix and nice ratio of girls to guys.
Well the two people I was supposed to go with crapped out on me and I am usually very uncomfortable going myself...something I am working on since no one should be dependent on a wingman for them to go out and try to meet women.
Well at first I decided to be a and just go play poker with some of my friends where there would be no women and no potential to have a unique social experience. But when I got there, they had invited this person I can't fucking stand being around. A dude who makes my skin crawl just by being in his presence. So I made conversation for like ten minutes and then took off, heading straight for the bar I was going to go to in the first place.
I figured since my "home base" was going to be filled with someone that makes me feel uncomfortable, I might as well feel uncomfortable in a bar where I have the potential to meet women and at the very least have a unique social experience.
I got to the bar and didn't have to pay cover or show id since I'm considered a regular now since I started a regular routine of going out towards the end of this past summer. I take a look around and although the bar is crowded, the overall quality of good looking chicks was definitely not what it has been in recent weeks.
But I didn't use that as an excuse to turn around and run home. Since I have good rapport with the bouncers and bartenders I decided to take a seat at the bar, make some conversation with the people I knew, and do some writing. Writing is one of my passions in life, writing poetry is one of the things that kept my head above water while I was depressed in high school and is something I have done consistently even after I came out of my depression.
So I had a whiskey sour, pulled out my small notepad, and started writing. I figured since I was suffering from approach anxiety, had no wingman, and there were barely any interesting girls I was even interested in I would try to do something that would make me stand out from the rest of the guys, live in my own reality by doing something I wanted to do, and do something I haven't done in all of my years of writing...write some prosocial poetry as opposed to antisocial poetry.
I ended up having the two hottest girls working in the bar being pulled into my tractor beam and repeatedly checking on me with one of them even looking at something I wrote and writing one of her own. I had a group of girls and guys buy me a shot, got a drink given to me for free by a male bartender, but my personal highlight was getting BLOWN OUT!
Hahaha, I can't not laugh when I think about it. There was this HB8.5 with a giant rack, black hair, and a few visible tatoos. She was with an ugly female friend and a male friend who may or may not have been her boyfriend. Watching how they interacted with each other inspired me to write something about them. When I approached and tried giving it to them they yelled at me "WE DON'T WANT IT!! WE DON'T WANT IT!!"
Oh my god it was so hilarious. At first it felt like I got punched in the stomach by Brock Lesnar, but I just put my head down and kept writing. Then after a minute or two I put my head up, took a deep breath, and realized that it DIDN'T FUCKING MATTER if those bitches blew me out! Who cares?! They were the only ones around me who weren't fascinated with me and what I was doing. And the next time I get blown out it won't feel that bad and eventually I won't feel anything at all...which is great and is gonna help me so much in the long run.
And it all started by doing what...GOING OUT...HAVING FUN...and maybe not being my best self, but definitely being a better self than what I intended on being earlier in the night.
And the next time I go out by myself will be even better.
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