From Tuesday, December 20 to Tuesday, December 27, 2011, I decided to go on my first seven-consecutive-night run of going out, and this blog entry includes some highlights and self-reflections. I have been inspired by Jeffy's article Advanced Keyboard Jockeying
to keep consistent records of my adventures and experiences in "the game;" here goes my first report.
BREAKING THROUGH RESISTANCE:
After about four days I crossed the resistance threshold. Prior to this point, I felt unwilling to go out at times, especially on Day 4. I just wanted to stay home, read, and relax. But, heeding the advice of the RSD guys, I dragged myself out there anyways. I found that going out is like going to the gym in that way; once you force yourself into it, you feel better during the process, and afterwards you feel a sense of accomplishment for sticking to your goal. That, and because I challenged myself to go out seven nights in a row, I felt a commitment to achieve that. No other requirements were made; I simply had to go out every night. It became very easy—natural, in fact—to go out and start interacting with people after the fourth night. By adhering to this consistent schedule, I brought my comfort levels in the clubs and bars to an all-time high.
THE POWER OF SUGGESTION:
Something simultaneously tragic and amazing happened to my friend Colin on one of the earlier nights. He has never studied the "game," and is not into self-development per se, but he is a highly-intelligent and positive person, and because of this, I think, he is great with opening. After talking to several sets, he became interested in a girl who was in a set with another girl and a guy. I went in with Colin and talked with the guy for a bit, only to be distracted by a random Swedish blonde girl. At some point I left the set, talked to the blonde, then saw another girl I had talked to on the dance floor, and moved to talk to her. At that moment I was kind of all over the place—in hindsight I should have stuck with diverting the guy's attention for Colin for a while longer. In any case, here is where the interesting part comes in.
A few moments later I notice Colin sitting at the table, almost passed out, looking straight-up blasted. What happened? He was fine a minute ago—he was money, in fact! Opening up sets left and right. We eventually had to leave a bit earlier than we planned because he was so gone. Once he was up and walking, he and I got to talking about what had happened, tracing our steps back to the point he lost control. Apparently, while in the last set, the guy leaned over to him and said "These girls aren't into you dude." It was this moment, I believe, that crushed his confidence, and the effects of the alcohol, rather than fuel his aura of greatness, turned the comment into something deeply personal and hurtful. This one comment destroyed him! On our way home in the car, he asked me what would have been the best response. I told him he should have ignored it completely, like it wasn't even part of his reality to comprehend such a comment. After all, there are good responses to tests and tooling, but never a perfect one. It is better, I think, to transcend these kinds of remarks, absorb it, let it pass right by, and no one gets hurt.
Although this experience was unfortunate for my friend, it taught me several interesting things. One is that suggestion only has power if we let it. If Colin had not taken the comment seriously at all, he could have continued to game. Perhaps he would have left the set, or gotten blown out, but either way, he could have used the interaction to fuel his next approach. When it comes to tooling, we have to be careful of taking things to heart. The second is that alcohol follows our emotional state. I think the guy's comment touched on some deep, personal wound and the alcohol intensified the emotional pain that the remark recalled in his mind. As a result, he just wanted to sleep, to go completely unconscious and pretend the experience wasn't happening. Granted, he did drink quite a bit that night, but I believe it was this exact moment that shifted his "drunk" from happy, positive, friendly, and conscious, to depressed, confused, angry, and unconscious.
THE NIMBUS AND THE PHENOMENON OF PASSIVE DEBAUCHERY:
Jeff wrote a hilarious and interesting article in 2009 called Passive Debauchery
; what happened to me on Day 6 was like a first-base version of his story. Marc and I met up with a girl whom Marc had met the night before. She invited us over for wine and pizza. After that, we went to an Irish bar to watch some live music. The music was excellent, but the vibe there was pretty chode; the only hot girl was the bar girl. At one point I sat next to her when she had finished her shift and had a cool conversation. Looking back, I should have gone for the number. Had great vibes going, but decided to do the "nice to meet you thing" and leave the interaction. Chode, I know. Anyway, back to the story. When I could no longer hold my urge to go into full pimp mode, I told Marc we had to hit up another club. Now, the pizza girl was our ride, and she told us she would call when she was leaving. Marc and I ventured off into the night, yet we found that the entire scene was dead. No one in sight at any of the clubs. So what did we do? That's right. We murdered a few karaoke songs. I did Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz and KILLED IT. We were feeling awesome. When the bar closed, we headed back to the Irish bar, and, to our surprise, the girl's car was gone. WTF? After a few attempts, Marc got through to the girl's phone, which was now being answered by the musician (who was playing the live music). He said they went to another place and to catch a cab. Now, even though it wasn't far to go (we actually took a cab back to his car first), we were not impressed that the girl didn't let us know she was leaving. Marc was quite upset, but I told him it didn't matter. Now we know what kind of person she is. Don't get all reactive about the whole thing.
Standing outside of the next bar (also Irish), I met a group of people who had also come from the first place. Since I had given them a couple pieces of our leftover pizza, the guy bought me a hot dog. Man, that hit the spot. Marc met the girl and went to her car to collect his combustibles, only to find that she and her friends had dipped into the stash! Ouch. Double whammy. I told him look, don't sweat it, let's find other girls. He felt like leaving, but I insisted we have one more beer first. As we entered the club, they were playing Limp Bizkit's rendition of Faith—awesome! We sang it at the top of our lungs and were wyling out pretty hard. Some lady with her husband was intrigued and talked to us. It was getting late, and I just went and leaned on the bar to watch the band and have my beer. I felt great. Then it happened. This girl comes floating up to me, gets right close to my face. Naturally, I kissed her immediately. She wasn't a beautiful girl by any means, but not bad, and her body was nice. A solid 7, I'd say. We made out pretty intensely. When she backed away, I kept really firm and present eye contact. I just felt amazing, and I was just watching her, smiling. She kept saying "Oh my god!" and "You're f'ing fine!" and "Man, you are awesome." And all I was doing was relaxing, looking at her. I pulled her to an after hours club, then home. Score on Day 6. What did I do to get her?
On the one hand, it is partially a matter of just being out in the first place. Had I stayed home, that would not have happened. But more importantly, it was a matter of being present and letting the nimbus of self-awareness shine. What entranced her so much was my presence, my positive and confident state. I was unflinching in my eye contact and shooting off sparkly magic from my eyes, feeling totally awesome, and it made her very attracted.
Got a solid number on Day 7. In total, I got around 3–4 numbers and 1 same night pull for the week. Since this experience, I am noticing even more attraction from girls during the day. I tend to notice this happening all of the time, but in recent days it is happening more than ever. And yes, it feels great to be making progress. My interactions with everyone are becoming more uninhibited and genuine, all day long. After two days off, I went out for New Year's Eve and experienced some MASSIVE success; I did things I have never imagined doing before. I will cover that night (last night) in my next blog.
Until next time, enjoy every moment. - A