Aaron's Blog

 
Salutations RSD Nation—just dropping in to share a mind-blowing passage from my reading. It's an excerpt from a translation of the Gesar Epic, a vast body of literature that recounts the struggles and adventures of the legendary 12th century King of Ling in Eastern Tibet. This particular translation is by Douglas J. Penick (2009), titled Crossing on a Bridge of Light. Within its pages, I found this profound connection to game, and to personal expression in general (italicized emphasis added):

Suffering is an endless chain of cause and effect. Liberation is spontaneous, awake.
Because the awakened state is the natural state, There is no separation or non-separation.
Because wisdom is spontaneous presence,
There is no obstruction or absence of obstruction.
Because compassion is the natural way of acting,
There is no hesitation and no certainty.*
Surrender completely to the world of phenomena: Love is the gateway and the offering.
This is the light of freedom.

Holy shit. Literally.

Cheers,
Aaron
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What's up everyone—your boy Aaron back with some more reflections on the relationship between attraction and self-actualization. This blog outlines one very excellent interaction I had with a turbo-hot waitress.

AN EXAMPLE OF "THE SELF IS ALWAYS SHINING THROUGH"

It was about a week ago. Maybe two. I step to this little Greek restaurant in Honolulu; it is one of my favorite places, been there nearly one hundred times. In fact, I had already been talking to another one of the waitresses in this place!—but that is another story. Upon entering the restaurant on this particular day, I did the same thing I would always do now. I say "What's up" to the waitress in a loud, friendly voice from the door; then "It's just me," the same volume, in a rapport-breaking tonality, still smiling, and beaming with positive energy. This is the mode that I now take all the time with attractive women. It works like magic.

I sit down alone in a table that can seat six. I love this spot, as it is the only place in the restaurant that can access the wireless internet from the bar next door. This is key when you are eating alone and have your laptop handy. As I sat down, the waitress had started to move to seat me elsewhere, but accepted (and became ATTRACTED) by the fact that I sat myself down. I noticed this, and said "Is it cool to sit here? I mean, if a big group comes, I can move." Again, it is all about tonality. My voice is playful and FUN yet still rapport-breaking. Strong eye contact. She giggles. "It's fine. I don't think any big groups will come in." I say, "Cool. Hey, did you just start working here? I have never seen you." She says "No, I have been here since the beginning of the semester." She giggles again. As she turns around I notice how gorgeous her body is. And her thong protruding from her jeans. Wow.

She serves my gyro. I say "Wow. That was fast." She smiles and giggles and walks away. I eat and look at something on my laptop. At some point she comes over and asks how it is. I am chewing at the moment, so I meet her eyes, smile, give a thumbs up, and keep chewing. She giggles again. Her thong flashes once again. Damn.

I ask for a straw at some point for my water. I say "Sorry I was unable to speak for a moment." She giggles. This is what gets me. I didn't say anything particularly funny—but it was the way I said it. I am playful, positive, confident, and AUTHENTIC in my interaction. This is what she sensed from me and why she thought it was cute and funny. After I was finished, I walked up to the register, chatted about how it was a slow night, and then said "You should give me your number." After a slight pause, she says "Ok. I could do that." I flirt a bit more, then peaced out, number in hand, feeling fresh like Tiger Woods.



REFLECTIONS

To me, what was most excellent about this particular engagement is the fact that I didn't try WHATSOEVER. I acted completely normal: confident, collected, enjoying life, slightly playful, and doing what I like to call "SMILING WITH MY EYES." This is something I will get into in more detail in another post, but I attribute most of my success with first impressions and general positive social exchanges to this quality. I was alert enough to tell she liked me. The giggles. The thong flashes. Smiles. And in the end, I went for the number.

I realized a few months prior, when asking for the number of a gorgeous bank girl, that I felt PUMPED even when the number was denied. In the case with the bank teller, I was feeling AWESOME and very present, and was really attracted to this girl. And during the interaction I had to write my number down as part of the protocol, so I say "Since I am giving you my number, you should give me yours." She was completely BLOWN AWAY by my confidence. Once I said this, I just looked at her, and smiled. She bashfully declined, saying she had a boyfriend, and that if she didn't have a boyfriend, she would. I said, "That's cool. It was worth a try," and walk away smiling. I might have even said some random shit to make myself laugh. She was both amazed and attracted as I left. As I walked out of the grocery store where the bank was, this older woman says "HEY! You are the only person I have seen smiling ALL DAY!" My smile beams even brighter and I say, "Awesome! I hope it is contagious!" From this I realized that even when a woman turns down my request for her number, it pumps my state! So it really behooves us to ALWAYS GO FOR THE NUMBER. If you think about it, the girl can only be flattered. It ADDS VALUE to her day. And the more we become present and confident, and build the initial attraction, the more chances we have of receiving a positive response.

So, in conclusion: The social skills we cultivate through serious dedication and commitment ultimately become a natural and permanent part of who we are, and that is when we begin to RADIATE this aura that women can not help but be attracted to.
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From Tuesday, December 20 to Tuesday, December 27, 2011, I decided to go on my first seven-consecutive-night run of going out, and this blog entry includes some highlights and self-reflections. I have been inspired by Jeffy's article Advanced Keyboard Jockeying to keep consistent records of my adventures and experiences in "the game;" here goes my first report.

BREAKING THROUGH RESISTANCE:

After about four days I crossed the resistance threshold. Prior to this point, I felt unwilling to go out at times, especially on Day 4. I just wanted to stay home, read, and relax. But, heeding the advice of the RSD guys, I dragged myself out there anyways. I found that going out is like going to the gym in that way; once you force yourself into it, you feel better during the process, and afterwards you feel a sense of accomplishment for sticking to your goal. That, and because I challenged myself to go out seven nights in a row, I felt a commitment to achieve that. No other requirements were made; I simply had to go out every night. It became very easy—natural, in fact—to go out and start interacting with people after the fourth night. By adhering to this consistent schedule, I brought my comfort levels in the clubs and bars to an all-time high.

THE POWER OF SUGGESTION:

Something simultaneously tragic and amazing happened to my friend Colin on one of the earlier nights. He has never studied the "game," and is not into self-development per se, but he is a highly-intelligent and positive person, and because of this, I think, he is great with opening. After talking to several sets, he became interested in a girl who was in a set with another girl and a guy. I went in with Colin and talked with the guy for a bit, only to be distracted by a random Swedish blonde girl. At some point I left the set, talked to the blonde, then saw another girl I had talked to on the dance floor, and moved to talk to her. At that moment I was kind of all over the place—in hindsight I should have stuck with diverting the guy's attention for Colin for a while longer. In any case, here is where the interesting part comes in.

A few moments later I notice Colin sitting at the table, almost passed out, looking straight-up blasted. What happened? He was fine a minute ago—he was money, in fact! Opening up sets left and right. We eventually had to leave a bit earlier than we planned because he was so gone. Once he was up and walking, he and I got to talking about what had happened, tracing our steps back to the point he lost control. Apparently, while in the last set, the guy leaned over to him and said "These girls aren't into you dude." It was this moment, I believe, that crushed his confidence, and the effects of the alcohol, rather than fuel his aura of greatness, turned the comment into something deeply personal and hurtful. This one comment destroyed him! On our way home in the car, he asked me what would have been the best response. I told him he should have ignored it completely, like it wasn't even part of his reality to comprehend such a comment. After all, there are good responses to tests and tooling, but never a perfect one. It is better, I think, to transcend these kinds of remarks, absorb it, let it pass right by, and no one gets hurt.

Although this experience was unfortunate for my friend, it taught me several interesting things. One is that suggestion only has power if we let it. If Colin had not taken the comment seriously at all, he could have continued to game. Perhaps he would have left the set, or gotten blown out, but either way, he could have used the interaction to fuel his next approach. When it comes to tooling, we have to be careful of taking things to heart. The second is that alcohol follows our emotional state. I think the guy's comment touched on some deep, personal wound and the alcohol intensified the emotional pain that the remark recalled in his mind. As a result, he just wanted to sleep, to go completely unconscious and pretend the experience wasn't happening. Granted, he did drink quite a bit that night, but I believe it was this exact moment that shifted his "drunk" from happy, positive, friendly, and conscious, to depressed, confused, angry, and unconscious.

THE NIMBUS AND THE PHENOMENON OF PASSIVE DEBAUCHERY:

Jeff wrote a hilarious and interesting article in 2009 called Passive Debauchery; what happened to me on Day 6 was like a first-base version of his story. Marc and I met up with a girl whom Marc had met the night before. She invited us over for wine and pizza. After that, we went to an Irish bar to watch some live music. The music was excellent, but the vibe there was pretty chode; the only hot girl was the bar girl. At one point I sat next to her when she had finished her shift and had a cool conversation. Looking back, I should have gone for the number. Had great vibes going, but decided to do the "nice to meet you thing" and leave the interaction. Chode, I know. Anyway, back to the story. When I could no longer hold my urge to go into full pimp mode, I told Marc we had to hit up another club. Now, the pizza girl was our ride, and she told us she would call when she was leaving. Marc and I ventured off into the night, yet we found that the entire scene was dead. No one in sight at any of the clubs. So what did we do? That's right. We murdered a few karaoke songs. I did Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz and KILLED IT. We were feeling awesome. When the bar closed, we headed back to the Irish bar, and, to our surprise, the girl's car was gone. WTF? After a few attempts, Marc got through to the girl's phone, which was now being answered by the musician (who was playing the live music). He said they went to another place and to catch a cab. Now, even though it wasn't far to go (we actually took a cab back to his car first), we were not impressed that the girl didn't let us know she was leaving. Marc was quite upset, but I told him it didn't matter. Now we know what kind of person she is. Don't get all reactive about the whole thing. 

Standing outside of the next bar (also Irish), I met a group of people who had also come from the first place. Since I had given them a couple pieces of our leftover pizza, the guy bought me a hot dog. Man, that hit the spot. Marc met the girl and went to her car to collect his combustibles, only to find that she and her friends had dipped into the stash! Ouch. Double whammy. I told him look, don't sweat it, let's find other girls. He felt like leaving, but I insisted we have one more beer first. As we entered the club, they were playing Limp Bizkit's rendition of Faith—awesome! We sang it at the top of our lungs and were wyling out pretty hard. Some lady with her husband was intrigued and talked to us. It was getting late, and I just went and leaned on the bar to watch the band and have my beer. I felt great. Then it happened. This girl comes floating up to me, gets right close to my face. Naturally, I kissed her immediately. She wasn't a beautiful girl by any means, but not bad, and her body was nice. A solid 7, I'd say. We made out pretty intensely. When she backed away, I kept really firm and present eye contact. I just felt amazing, and I was just watching her, smiling. She kept saying "Oh my god!" and "You're f'ing fine!" and "Man, you are awesome." And all I was doing was relaxing, looking at her. I pulled her to an after hours club, then home. Score on Day 6. What did I do to get her?

On the one hand, it is partially a matter of just being out in the first place. Had I stayed home, that would not have happened. But more importantly, it was a matter of being present and letting the nimbus of self-awareness shine. What entranced her so much was my presence, my positive and confident state. I was unflinching in my eye contact and shooting off sparkly magic from my eyes, feeling totally awesome, and it made her very attracted. 

FINAL NOTES:

Got a solid number on Day 7. In total, I got around 3–4 numbers and 1 same night pull for the week. Since this experience, I am noticing even more attraction from girls during the day. I tend to notice this happening all of the time, but in recent days it is happening more than ever. And yes, it feels great to be making progress. My interactions with everyone are becoming more uninhibited and genuine, all day long. After two days off, I went out for New Year's Eve and experienced some MASSIVE success; I did things I have never imagined doing before. I will cover that night (last night) in my next blog.

Until next time, enjoy every moment. - A
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