Some nights are harder than others, Jeffy's email said today. That hit home because last night I was channeling the glorious essence of some high-ranking chode-diety after about midnight. I got off work and went home for a nap (going out every night has been taking its toll on the sleep-cycle, and it's not nice about it) and woke up to the influx of text messages that generally signal the Thursday night wind-up. On with the show.
I picked up my Austrian half-wing and called Chris, a new guy from work who just got divorced and wants to get in the action. We met up at the local pub for preparty and made nice with all the locals. Too bad they all had Y-chromosomes. TinyTot, a cutie I met at another bar a few weeks back, guestlisted us at the Canyon club so we rolled in for free, under the influence of a redbull and a bit of fiesta-inducing screaming at the top of our lungs.
I sent Chris from work off to the mall for some club-worthy gear, and he shows up in jeans and an Affliction knock-off shirt with red foil all over it, he remarkably fits in. Add that to his infectious smile, and he's ready to go. I jump into state with a few rebel-yell worthy noisemaking fits and about 8-too-many high-fives and we hit the patio.
BAM! three steps out the door, He gets opened by this girl who looks like she's been drinking since Monday, with the slurred opener;
UGIfIHaveOneMoreDrink: OHMYGOD Will you hug me?
UGIfIHaveOneMoreDrink: Thanks so much... you just... look EXACTLY like my friend who just died.
HalfWing and I are laughing our asses off. His first time in a club in 20 years and FitsIn gets opened in the first minute we're there. The look on his face was priceless, and that moment is a reminder of why we do this shit in the first place. Back inside, we tear up the dance floor. The crowd is a mix of the older rich girls from the dinner-and-a-show crowd and the I-got-here-early-and-my-drinks-havent-kicked-in younger group moving around aimlessly to the mediocre music.
the drinks kick in for HalfWing and he starts dancing around like a bull in a china shop. He opens two girls with boyfriends and starts knocking drinks over. I guess that's somewhere in the rapport phase? I'll have him do a tutorial for anyone who wants in on the new "Knock a girl's drink all over her boyfriend's shirt" method. FitsIn and I rock out on the dance floor and bring the state up a little bit. I have a few fleeting dancefloor encounters and roll outside.
Then the redbull crashes, and so does my state. I don't know if those events correlate. I don't know wtf happened, but I went from clap-happy dancecore into full blown terminal chodeilitis. Opened a 3set for a light and just stood there getting ignored hardcore. They wouldn't even make eye contact. *EJECT* Who took the gem out of my donut? I sat there, in observervational chode mode for awhile, and when I got back on the dancefloor, I couldn't even move to the beat anymore. I saw set after set and right action kept getting further and further away. I jump up in the air like an idiot, clap a lot, make a lot of noise, encroaching into a lot of other sets' space, but nothing shook the downward spiral of emotional blackness my ego was sending me into.
HalfWing opens 2 girls in close proximity and one walks off and the other one plops down next to me.
BImJustWaitingForMyFriends: ::Mundane conversation::
Me: ::ChodelinessEmbodied One-word low-energy answers::
BImJustWaitingForMyFriends: ::Make-out with other guy who shows up on the other side::
I stared at the ashtray and wondered to myself "WHERE THE HELL DID THIS LOW ENERGY GUY COME FROM?". Working through the chode moments is utter lame sauce, to say the least. I passed up set after set after set, with each pass sending me further back into my head with chodely frustration. What am I afraid of? It's not getting punched in the face
, it's not getting blown out. Could it be the unknown after the opening?
Back to the dancefloor, I just wanted to get out. HalfWing, on the other hand, opened 3 more sets and at one point I heard him say "So when are you gonna drop these boyfriends of yours and get with ME?", followed by a bunch of giggling and hyperphysical 3-way dance antics. Sooo far out of my reality at that point.
Tonight, though... different story. I'm gonna go take a nap. I'll [url=http://www.rsdnation.com/kevinnj®/blog/you-want-game-you-got-game-just-look-within]find a pic of myself and draw all over it[/url] - realize that maybe I AM valuable just being me.
And maybe lay off the redbull.