DukeD's Blog

DukeD
 
So my head's spinning from last night. I need some sort of centering. And who better to do it than HBRevenge? Let's recap. This goddess of a woman keeps coming over and listening to my philosophizing ass wax poetic about all the great and horrible things that make my head spin on this journey to self-actualization. Then she goes for the chitchat which is generally much shorter but no less of a mindfuck. Then we snuggle and conclude our little tete-a-tete with far too much platonicity for how well we get each other. Whatever. Until I start a band, we're not hooking up :). She helps me keep my head straight.

So we got into this conversation on physical attractiveness since I've heard from all sorts of directions (as of late) that I'm intense and intimidating. Weird. All of the sudden she tells me that I am an attractive guy with great style. WTF? As a litmus test I asked about PUADarkroom and she said the same thing. Hrm... Whatever. That lightened my step a bit and now my head is all in the clouds and shit.

Tyler says: What if you just felt that way all the time? More to follow.

Off to the Terrace with a couple of girls that are off the radar. Dead night, so I only opened one chick, a hairdresser with a bit too much manufactured feist for me. Turns out she's a tool magnet and here they come. All the sudden it was Grand Chodetral station all up in my area and I had to have mundane logical conversations about dirt bikes and the logistics of selling weed. FML. Almost #closed for the fuck of it, but then decided against it. My luck her tweeker ass would actually call me back and I'd have to deal with her bullshit.

Onward, Ho.
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DukeD
 
Here's where it all ramps up. Day 166 is the beginning of the next phase of development for me (since I'm so behind on blogging, I'm about 2 weeks ahead of this entry... and the end results are unfolding as I type)
Yesterday, BMetric invited me over to come snuggle. BMetric and I had this conversation about how much she needed to stay away from someone who isn't into a long term thing. She invited me over anyway, so I packed a backpack, complete with toothbrush.

We went to sunset and BMetric is being cold and protective. Maybe I should be explaining what I'm trying to do with my life in such vivid detail. She faked like we didn't have plans and I told her she owed me.

For some reason, though... BLadyLike decided to come over. Let's explain.
This girl is so not my blueprint woman that it's not even funny. You know when you first start out a relationship, you try to find all the similarities so that you can fake like you're so compatible? These similarities don't exist. While she's cute naked, our value structures don't align... our goals aren't compatible, and our outlook on people is diametrically opposed.

But, in classic pickup fare... I employed "Don't think... just go." She comes over.

Fuckin' hilarious. I stripped down to my boxers and she asked me if she could farmville on facebook on my computer.

Here I lay, snuggling as I often do, minding my own business... when some pickup artist bullshit hits me from the inside. Escalate, push, go, beat LMR, CLOSE. Compelled by too much forum reading, I said; "We have to fix this shirt problem". Bam. topless chick in my bed, snuggling. I'm content.

Light caressing and messing around ensues, but it could be considered sweet and snuggly, and not ForTheLoveOfGodFuckMe. But then she found my buttons. The ones around my hips and behind my ear that make my spine flex. This chick wants to get laid bad.

I'm the one who provides LMR. Recalling the conversation I had last night, I mention something about finding the guy of her dreams and how I'm not it, etc. I really don't want to fuck this chick under false pretenses. She knows what I am... and it's definitely not relationship material at this juncture. She climbed on top of me and with us both breathing heavy she fucked it all up.

She said; "I won't get hurt. Promise." I knew that look. The one that says she's trying to convince herself as much as she's trying to convince me. The look in her eyes that say I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm a big girl and I want to make you think I do.

I was so over it. Again; most of you might close this chick, but fuck, man... It doesn't feel right. I'm not waiting for Ms. Right or anything... but I still hold sex in this important, emotional frame that requires it to be something connected, intimate, and necessarily a choice thing. I don't want to take advantage of anybody, and so even though pickup tends to blow right through this part, I'm not convinced the community quite knows what they're doing when it comes to this stuff.

So I told her to get off me. I said "Look, I've seen this before. You're not thinking straight. This doesn't feel right. Snuggle me." **I can hear you guys cringing right now.**

She fuckin' flipped out. She came over to get laid, and when it became apparent that she wasn't going to, she freaked.
Wide open mouth, standing over my bed, she couldn't wrap her mind around it. "You're the first man to EVER turned me down. This is fucked up." "Shut up, snuggle me. Not now doesn't mean never. Come here." God, I sound like a girl.

Waking up in the morning, she smiles at me, thanks me for not banging the shit out of her. She doesn't even know, man. She's missing out. But what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
She said... "Now I have to do the walk of shame... but there's no shame." We both laughed about it... but there's now this weird sexual undertone because I'm holding the power in the power balance.

I'm not closing doors, that's not what I do. I like to have open options.
Let's review;
I'm a pickup artist.
I haven't closed since I started.
This chick came over to hit it.
I told her she didn't really want to.
I intentionally didn't close.

Why the hell am I doing this shit? And PUABrothello would say (paraphrasing Van Wilder)..
You have two outcomes: She's either not going to fuck you... and then I don't really see a need to ever call her again, or she's going to fuck you, in which case I don't really see a need to call her ever again.

I felt like a hypocrite.. that I was drunk as shit lat night and told her to find a man that's worthwhile... unfortunately, she thought that man was me. She was dead wrong. So I didn't fuck her. I'm all Deida-esque when it comes to connection an intimacy and blah blah blah, so if it doesn't feel right, I won't do it.

But then again... I just pulled an Argentino.... I got this girl to take her clothes off and just lie there and talk to me all night. FML. Can't I just kill the nagging voice in my head that realizes the younger girls are supid and just fuck them? Damn. I've got issues.  
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DukeD
 
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure." - Helen Keller

Over the past few months I've been hyper-empirical. I've been analytical...strategic... methodical. I finally let it all go, and I'm not sure that it's a good thing.

Even though I believe that control and security are fear-based illusions, I lost control.
Even though I believe is a Self-Hypnosis... I fell for it. Well fuck.

I started drinking in the last few days. I mean falling-over, being-loud and retarded drinking. I used to have so much responsibility... lately I've been throwing it all out the window.

HBMostLikely showed up, and I just ran mad over and over and over again. Kino-escalate, kino-escalate... She left early and so I walked her to her car. There we are, standing in the parking structure and doing that awkward hug, quick-kiss-on-the-cheek, hug again, pause thing... She put her hands on my shoulderblades and her cherry red lipstick glistened ever so slightly as her little micromovements prepped for the next emotional move.

One hand was on her neck, the other one pulling away from the last hug, and it happened. She triangular-gazed me. One-two-three, and all the forum jockeying came together in my head and gelled. What I was visualizing in that moment looked like a closeup of a lockpick finally dropping all the pins in the cinematic style that they did the opening intro to fight club.

It was my chance to pull the trigger. To live up to my masculine responsibility. To get the makeout with the one girl that could seriously rock my world.

CHODE MOMENT. The actual timespan was probably 2 seconds. I hesitated, and moved back ever so slightly, and what happened in those 2 seconds was quite possibly the most important thing that has happened in MostLikely and my relationship. I didn't do a damn thing for 2 seconds. She decided to quit waiting on my decisive process and lunged in to kiss me. She catches me halfway overlapped as I'm staggering backward.

OMG She kissed me. Total chode takeover. Somebody take me away from this. I could tell by the look in her eyes that something died right there (and in the days to come it only got worse) because of my inaction and hesitation. That was the testing moment that said; are you a man or not?

I lost my grip on reality for a moment. Staggered backwards. I literally lost my balance and almost fell over. At this point it wasn't the alcohol.She rocked my world.

I'm in love. Self-Hypnosis or not, it took control of my shit. I can't help it. I fell head over heels just like they say in storybooks. But I know... for some reason... I fucked it up. Maybe I can still recover.

After waiting for her to leave, I skipped back inside and slammed a massive fishbowl of a margarita and started freeflowing with reckless abandon. LadyLike started bitching about her ex-boytoy and so I started talking.

Unfortunately, when I'm drinking, I'm too honest. Too authentic, or so I thought. She asked me a shitload of questions and I kept answering. I was also drunk as shit, so I just spoke without filtering. I pulled some hardcore rapport shit, but it was all flowing with sincerity. I said some "You deserve better, stop settling for guys who can't make you cum... blah blah." shit. She cried about me saying something deep and meaningful, tried to mask it, and denies it to this day.

Perhaps it was the utter failure that I knew I had with MostLikely, perhaps it was God giving me another shot. Perhaps it was the Devil. At the end of an hour long conversation, She was just standing there and I gave her a kiss. Like RSDRyan says; "Don't kiss her... GIVE HER A KISS." I could see something flip over in her eyes, like when they enter the numbers into the little computer in season 1 of LOST, and everything resets.

This is going to be bullshit. She and I don't mesh... and she's a when she drinks. Whatever. She wants to come over on Thursday.

God, I'm drunk.
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DukeD
 
 So I got home at 4 last night... Since I had a lunch date with HBHouseOfWax, I had to borrow HBPlayette's car. She works at 7, so that means I have to drive her to work at 6:30am, so I didn't get much sleep. I got stood by HBImage up the night before, and went on a rampage. I decided to sleep in the car in Playette's parking lot, and then drive over around lunch time.

I woke up to a slew of text messages from Image, who was backwards-ly apologizing for not calling the night before. Waking up to an Apology could be awesome, if the control freak on the other end would actually say I'm sorry. She said she was at work. Funnily enough, Playette, Image, and EmoDir all work together, and I just so happened to be sleeping in her work parking lot. I drug her out for a 15 minute break and she just stood there without any real connection while we fluff-talked about bullshit.

I told her that the power struggle was getting old if I don't get to win sometime. I told her about Robert Greene's 48 Laws of power and said that she should read it. Her eyes got all excited and she lit up. She really does love this power trip shit, and, in related news... she's just not that into me, which is unfortunate. She sent me a picture in the afternoon of her with the book. Since then she's been texting Robert Greene quotes. Why did I contribute to her growth as a power game player? Whatever. She's got massive empty spots in her game, and like they say... leave 'em better than you found 'em, right?

HBHouseOfWax can't keep her word worth shit. I assumed she wasn't going to have lunch with me since she went home with that Kool-Aid man red-shirt chode the night before. So I txted 12 or so different girls to get them to meet me for lunch. Everyone was busy, but I called BMetric and she said she was coming, but she called and said she's bringing BLadyLike at the last minute.

This whole slotting new girls into the spaces the flakes leave is a great new practice. At least I don't have to focus on why I get stood up, because there's more feminine energy to deal with. At lunch, I was talking about HBImage, and BLadyLike showed me a whole new side. For the last 4 months, I explained, every time I saw LadyLike, I put her in the loud-obnoxious-drunk category. Everybody (especially Brothello) is telling me to hit it, but I don't see the appeal. Yeah sure, the binary system says yes... but then I'd have to put up with her attitude.

We spent the whole lunch getting to know each other better, and she pleasantly surprised me. I counted back to figure out why I didn't know she was so awesome and I figured out that I only see her when she's hammered. Which is alot. Whatever, she's cool now, and bitching about that drug dealer ex-boyfriend of hers.

I dragged the girls over to Starbucks and we randomly ran into HouseOfWax in the parking lot. She looked like last night wasn't good to her, and was wearing the same clothes. She threw her arms around me and said she should have gone home with me. Damn right, you should have. What did we learn?

HBMostLikely was supposed to come over that night for snuggletime, but she she forgot and made plans to hit up Howl at the Moon with PUAPerfectChem instead. After getting no sleep and I was so not about to go out to Universal City just to hear Chem whine about how he's not getting laid his unwillingness to adapt. Strangely enough, I'm totally fine with my boys taking my new girlfriend out of the city on a whim.

BLadyLike started txting me about random stuff, and it turned into an asynchronous 3 hour conversation.

Since I had a free night, I decided to do some living at my edge stuff via txt message. New mission for the day was to txt girls and relentlessly try to get them to come over until they solidly reject me or stop responding. I did this just to get over my fear of inviting girls over. So here it goes. 6 different girls and 2 hours later, I was solidly blown out, but I learned so much about myself and my willingness to take action, it was worth it.

I would write a message like "My bed would be better with you in it." (Thanks RSDRyan) and go to hit SEND and my fingers wouldn't move. I was thinking in my head... I barely know this girl, but we're down. If I send this message, it's going to change the whole landscape of our interaction. Nothing will ever be the same. Don't Think, Just GO. Well, stomped that limiting belief. What the hell? Do I just make up shit in my head to keep me from succeeding or what? The worst a girl does when I try to get her over to my house is stop responding. I'm used to that. I got mostly positive responses, actually. One said she totally would except she just took a soma and couldn't drive, which... btw, in the world of excuses was the coolest one.

LadyLike had been txting me for 3 hours, but wasn't part of my little mission. So after getting failcakes from the mission girls. I just told her to come over. "Right now?" "Yeah." "I'm in my PJ's." "Me too. We'll match. Come over. Bring cigarettes." "OK Be there soon. :)".
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DukeD
 
 I was excited all day for My Day2 at 8 with HBImage. She called around 6:45. She asked what we were doing, and I said she was driving but I'll figure it out. She said "I have to do my hair... etc... I'll be over soon". (If you ever saw Image's hair, you'd understand why it takes her so damn long to get out of the house) Sweet. 9:30 rolls around and she's not here yet. So I called her. No answer. WTF? Straight up STOOD UP. I get flaked on all the time, but never straight STOOD UP. I was livid pissed, mostly because HBImage is so damn important, between the power games and the matching my blueprint problem she has. Stood up. Oneitis.

FTOW, my head says. Get out of your house.

PUAZ called me and said "I've got 2 Israeli chicks coming over to P6. I need help man, can I get you to come out?". I was conflicted, but I told him to txt me later with more details. I knew HBPinkDot's birthday party was at the Terrace, so I picked up a birthday card and some smokes and rolled over there. When I rolled in, I was assaulted with mad amounts of women. It's like every woman I've ever hit on in the last 4 months was there, and they all thought I was awesome. Jaws dropped and guys just turned around and abandoned their approaches when they saw me Hugging, kissing, hi fiving every hot girl in the place. Like 20 of 'em. I gave PinkDot her card and opened a 4set. Went well, but they obviously loved their boyfriends, so I ejected.

I grabbed HBEnglish and danced for a second, and made my rounds to tell all the girls I was rolling to P6 to find more people and bring them back. When I got to P6, the game was stepped up a notch. Big buff guys in affliction shirts and killer game were knocking down HB's like a carnival shooting gallery. I felt comfortable, but my opening skills in that arena was just getting outplayed. Z said that the girls wanted to stay home, but wanted us to come over. I told him to go pull a tricycle and I would go back to the Terrace to clean up what was looking like a great night.

I went back to the Terrace and went on a cockblock rampage. I stole girls out of sets left and right, snuggled and pushed and kissed and hugged. I ran into BMetric and some chode that was trying to get up in it. 2 words later he cowered into the corner and I snagged Metric. HBTinyTot was there, watching with this guy with tats and a gay-as-hay fashion sense. Total peacocking, but I would later find out why. He's a PUA. Not just some guy that rolls with us and picks up girls with me. Like a full-blown, community-saturated PUA.

We'll call him PUAMMethodic. He said.. come here. I wanna make you my bartender. As he went on.. I saw all of the MM tactics playing out in front of me. It's like I was watching the show or something. He said to me; "You're the most social guy here. You're also one of the best looking. You could lose 20 lbs. tho."

Was he negging me?

He said "I'm sorry man, I just see potential. You're amazing. Here's what I do. I teach loveable losers how to be winners. I'm a coach. For social skills." Oh I get it. You're selling your bootcamps. Fine. I opened his girls and won them over. I dragged a couple of others into set and got the vibe flowing. He broke off to lock in BMetric in Attraction phase and I took over the set. His one mistake with Metric is he opened with "You could stand to lose 10 pounds or so." He backed it up and started his little cat-string thing, but he fucked up royally. You see, BMetric is a B, not an HB, so his neg theory wasn't getting the results he was looking for.

When you tell a girl she's fat... she better goddamn be a supermodel, or they won't fight to regain validation, they'll just think you're a prick. Anyway, He numberclosed me and said we totally need to hang out. No shit.

I went back inside and saw HBHouseOfWax surrounded by chodes. I dove straight in and snuggled, leaving random koolaid-man red-shirt wearing chode standing there with his damn mouth open. I fully expected the AMOG introduction and flag-setting, but he just stood there. With his mouth open, waiting for me to leave so he could resume his horrible game. HouseOfWax was drunk as shit, so I confirmed our lunch date tomorrow, told her to ride with me to Denny's, and leave the surrounding chodes behind. She said she would. But if her word's as good as her bond, her bond couldn't put my coffee mug together, Billy Mays style.

In the parking structure, I saw koolaid man chode pinning her up against his buddy's truck. She was laughing, so I figured he was doing fine. BNoPhoto said she needed a ride, so I was waiting for her but she apparently got snagged in the 2am desperate chode-frenzy too. So off to Denny's.

MostLikely was there. I snuggled her and got mad social proof, bounced back and forth between her, LadyLike, Metric, and TinyTot... running jealousy plotline style game. The two girls that showed up with MMethodic watched, fascinated. When MMethodic and his new little sister, TinyTot (if you read my blogs regularly, you'll know how important she is) went outside, I pulled her out from under him. It was kind of like a PUA battle, but totally unintentional. I was just ON. Like the burning fire in my crushed heart took over and I just didn't give a fuck anymore. It was even more intense because of the other PUA there. TinyTot got caught up too. She kept snuggling and leaving, snuggling and leaving, then she bit my neck. All that relational wiring fired off in my head and I told her to stop it. Don't start what you can't finish, girl. She kissed me instead. I've lost a lot of respect for her since she had been blowing me off for the last month unless there was another high-value girl present, so I went back inside.

Metric decided she was leaving, and I told her she was a great snuggler, and that I should come over this week to keep her up. She got all excited and told me to do so. Awesome. By that time, I had forgotten about getting stood up by Image.
Home. Sleep. See you guys tomorrow.
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DukeD
 
 I hit up HBImage and she said date tomorrow... We'll see if she doesn't flake this time.
I went out with the roommates to Sunset Terrace and it was on. I told PUAHalfWing to stay the hell away from HBMostLikely since I didn't want to have blow him out in front of everybody. I don't believe in calling 'dibs', but when HalfWing gets drunk... God help us all.

I pretty much stuck to the girls I know tonight. There was only like.. 20 of them. I opened 3 sets and got blown out of all of them. My girls were hyper attentive though... and coyly fighting each other to get my attention. That's all well and good, ladies... but I'm still functionally celibate. Somebody help me fix this problem.

I told HalfWing that his mission is to kiss some girl he hasn't met yet. Then he spent all his time trying to escalate MostLikely, which is the only no-no I gave him. What a dick. No matter. I set up an opening to go to BMetric's place later this week and put the foot in the door with HBRevenge again. BLadyLike came over, drunk as shit, told me she just broke up with her boyfriend. Then she put her tongue in my mouth. Tastes like vodka-redbull. But I know where this is going... she's gonna be all over me, then puke in about 15 minutes and be a drunk-beligerant person for the next hour. So I told her she shouldn't start what she can't finish, and that I needed some sort of trust, and that she couldn't give me that because she has trust issues. Anything to get this chick off me. She just pushed harder. 3 more times. 3 more times.

I drove to Denny's, taking MostLikely with me. She kissed me a whole bunch, but at times like that, my internal voice is saying; 'Why do you only kiss me when you're drunk?' I should probably figure out why that bothers me.

Off to Denny's to close it all out, and POW. BMetric's ex shows up being lame and abusive. PUAMythical, PUAHalfWing and I were standing there staring at each other wondering if this guy is thinking about what he's doing. Important practical information: Half-wing's 6'4". I'm a 220lb BJJ/MMA Competitor. Mythical's practically a terrorist (no. seriously.). This guy would look like the front row of a Gwar concert if he crossed the invisible tripwire between me and HalfWing to get to BMetric. HBMostLikely (god, I love her) stood up and told the guy to fuck off, and I could see Mythical's body tense up like a friggin' rattlesnake. I stared him down to keep him from opening his mouth. Metric's ex decided it was a good idea to leave (God must have mercy to some people), and we went back inside. Even though confrontation was avoided, the body language from the 3 of us spoke louder than anything that could have been said.

What happened next was amazing. Remember that old "Protector of loved ones" attraction switch? It fired off like an EMP. Anything missing a Y chromosome in a 20 foot radius was affected. HalfWing, Mythical and I were all of the sudden playing the game at another level. You could feel the responsiveness in the room.

I drove Gerr and MostLikely back to their cars. Mythical took HalfWing in his Jeep, assumed home. I dropped Gerr off at her car and started walking MostLikely to hers, hoping to kiss her passionately at the goodnight stage. Lo and behold what's that sound? Screeching tires. I knew that sound. That's what happens when Mythical drives. I'm right in the middle rushing rapport talk and he whips around the corner trying to nearly miss us walking and snapped into the spot. HalfWing jumped out and tries to grab us both for the goodbye. 
Thanks for the cockblock, guys. You're HORRIBLE wingmen. Remind me to beat your asses later. Goodnight.

Day 163 commences.
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DukeD
 
How many blowouts do I need to get before it stops hurting? Jesus. I'm seriously going to start a counter for every blowout that I get and when I hit 1000, I'm going to re-evaluate how crushed I feel. I chalked up 5 tonight. I danced the friggin' night away, ran into PUABrothello's new primary, BAnimalistic. I cockblocked a few chodes from the girls in my dance circle, and generally made an environment of excellence.

There's this guy on the dancefloor every week that I think is losing weight by club dancing. His moves are very superstar-ish and he owns the friggin dancefloor. the last 3 weeks, I go out there and dance in the middle of the floor with him before everybody gets there. I get a lot of proximity, but I don't know how to open these girls. Whatever. Maybe I don't need to.

Wierd note... this PUA guy from a couple of weeks ago stopped me to get my number. He's like... Hey give me your number. You're cool. We gotta go sarging sometime. I said... I've done this 9 times tonight.. but you're the first guy.

The fun starts at Denny's. Brothello gets a drunk txt from Animalistic that says; "Any cute guy friends? My other friend wants some company." PUAUrgeToRun looked at me and asked me if I wanna rock-paper-scissors for it. I told him his dry spell was longer than mine, so he needed to handle it. I handed him 2 condoms (I can't believe my wings go out unprepared) and wished him. I also might have threatened to beat his ass if he didn't close.

They've been making fun of me not closing for two weeks now. It's getting rediculous. What... like I don't know how?
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DukeD
 
I had this chick from chem class over in the context of studying. She I.D.'d herself as hyper-monogamous relationship girl and I expressed how that wasn't going to work out at all. So we studied chem. I started rambling about pickup and different things, and she got all hyper interested. at the end of a 6 hour long conversation... she was 1)All about me. and 2)Staying as far away from me as she could. The more she asked questions, the more I explained... as raw as I do here... with the benefit of body language and vocal tonality.

MostLikely txt'd me and so I just told her to get dressed so she could go out with me tonight. She blew off 2 other people so I walked the chem girl down to her car and ran into MostLikely on the way up. I dragged her out to Westwood in hopes of sharing the Diddy Riese experience with her. Instead of that, we stopped at this badass little taco place and just talked forever. I kept kino-ing.. then forgetting to do so... then kino-ing... then forgetting. It had this whole on-off-on dynamic that I just kept doing sporadically.

I'd be talking... and my brain would go "Uh... dumbass! Touch her!". So I would just do it. But in the middle of the conversation, we'd always separate because I talk with my hands. Then I'd have to reinitiate again. It was very weird... but I just kept acting on my own intention, even though the intention kept changing up. Whatever. She went along with it.

I dragged her back to my place, where she fell in love with my pet rats. I was thinking... I'm getting cockblocked by my pets. Great. She had to work at six, so she told me to make sure she was out by 12. She went to the bathroom, and so I laid down on the couch and at 11:55 I said... You owe me five minutes. Come cuddle. Not even flinching, she sprawled out over me and we had some surface level conversation about medical insurance, all the while having a completely different conversation on another level at the same time. It was weird again.. I felt like this was the point I should kiss her. Then I felt like it was the wrong time. The whole interaction of the night was a little staccato. At 12:25 she threatened to sleep over. I got up and walked her down to her car. I told her to bring clothes next time, pointed at my cheek, got the kiss, snuggle, hug, then I sent her away.

It was a wholly weird experience. I kept fluxing from chill guy mode, to boyfriend mode, to PUA mode, and back again. She just went along with the ride, seemingly enjoying herself. My pua side knows that if I don't close her soon... she's gonna get bored. My boyfriend side is what keeps her around.. and the chill guy side fills in the spots. Ozzie's voice fills my head; "CLOSE."

But I can't be inauthentic. If it doesn't feel right... why would I pull the trigger? Developing this sensitivity between being a and knowing the right timing of things is a pain in the ass. Whatever. Next time we go out... she's getting more physical escalation, less everything else.  
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DukeD
 
 Off to the club. I don't know what the hell took over me, but maybe the bounceback from the weekend of doom was possessing my soul. I had BPlaysWithDolls come pick me up since HalfWing's been being a sleepyhead. She was all depressed over PUAMagnum's using their "open relationship" status to date other girls and was looking for some comfort. Fine. Come over.

We went to the club and sat down, then I called HBMostLikelyToShare and told her to meet us. She showed up and we chitchatted about random stuff. A whole flood of girls came in. Blowout, blowout... Then 3 girls showed up. One of them was BIndustryStandard, so I naturally started pushing hard and met her friend BTooSimilar.

I sat down and locked MostLikely in. I told her that she is now my girlfriend and there was nothing she could do about it. We started talking about all of the rules and compatibility quirks we'd have to deal with, and it turned into a 2 hour conversation, compliance building the whole time. The other girls went in and out, but we agreed to carry on an open relationship, so we could wing for each other at the club. I explained how none of my new girlfriends can handle me making out with random chicks at the club and she said it wasn't gonna be a problem.

We'll see about that.

IndustryStandard came by and I told her she was cute and had a crush on her since I met her. She couldn't take a compliment and I was getting MostLikely to pump some validation into the mix. One of the chodes in Industry's crew took a liking to PlaysWithDolls, so she finally quit glaring at me, distracted by the awesome chodeliness. I finally got sick of Industry talking bad about herself, so I got up and told her to close her eyes. I gave her a kiss. (not kissed her.. GAVE her a kiss) She opened up all shocked and I stayed in. She said; Do it like a man... don't play games.... *close.

Watching MostLikely out of my periph... she didn't flinch. Nice.

Industry decided to leave... but was obviously moved by the gesture. She gave me a long explanation of how much she missed me, and we HAVE to hang out. Kiss, hug, snuggle... bye! Prompted by her exit, TooSimilar came over. I pulled her down onto my lap and fluff talked deeper into UsVsTheWorld type of talk. I explained that everybody had a problem living in the moment and just letting things organically happen. That we should be able to share moments fully with people without getting judged. That she was an open minded person that totally gets me and how weird it was to find someone so awesome. this was all authentic, btw, but I've used those lines before. #Close. FbClose.

Some chode who worked with MostLikely come in AMOGging hard. He kept sneaking in when I was distracted and trying to isolate her. Twice I dragged her off to the dancefloor to avoid the noid. And twice he pulled some I'm better than you glaring assgrabbing trying to discourage my advances. He didn't know I already locked this one. He pulled the "I stole your glasses and am wearing them, so you have to come talk to me", and the "who is this guy" look everytime I showed up. No matter. I went in hard, introduced myself, and then introduced MostLikely. Do you know MostLikely? Oh shit, I didn't know you guys met. Nice. Oh, I don't mean to cockblock, bro, sorry. Go for it! I kept calling him out on his movements while she kept eyerolling.

PUAGotItMade txted MostLikely and said he was gonna show up. I love this guy, but now he's in my way. I tried to help him out for the last 2 weeks with MostLikely, but he's missed his window. My turn. She's all distressed since he told her to back off... so I was all; Ok, reverse-jealousy-plotline time. He showed up I drug her in, holding hands and snuggling, and dumped her on him. He rolled off and said he was going to open a 3set in the corner. I let him do his thing, and kept being hardcore kino with MostLikely. Everybody wins. If he bites... he gets MostLikely and I'll clean up the 3set. If he doesn't, I get MostLikely and he goes about his logistics.

"Are you bitches hitting on my boyfriend?"

Meet&Greet the 3set... and MostLikely's grabbing me harder. She can't stand losing, I guess. These antics close out the night with GotItMade bouncing to Dennys with his new friends and leaving me to cleanup. Fine with me. You're my new girlfriend. We're gonna have all these great dates. I've got to take you to this place. You've got to show me that. No Way! That sounds awesome! We're totally going there. The Amog kid came back with the end of the night push. He puts his arm around her and mine was already there, so he recoiled. I stepped off and was like "Oh man! sorry bro... go ahead. I don't want to get in the way of love" Straight face.. ROFLing inside. She kept giving me help me faces and he was obviously trying to pull her home. I hooked her arm-in-arm and told her it was time to leave. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back in. I puckered up and motioned for her to come back. Kiss Close. Chode ejected all pissed off and I walked her to her car.

She went home. I hopped in the car with PlaysWithDolls and she came home with me to snuggle the night away. I must have done something wrong because she was cold all night. Well... maybe it's since I basically ignored her at the club. Whatever. Her energy is still fun to sleep next to.

Kiss Close, Number Close, New girlfriend, Where was this fire last night?
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DukeD
 
This weekends realizations made me desperate. Desperate to try something new, something crazy. Something totally out of character. Time to calibrate a relentless push for glory. I drank 30 oz of margarita and PUACaveman (who works with HBImage) set me to flight with great news about Image's latest ramblings. My heart's a-flutter.

HBTinyTot showed up and I told her she'd better stay away from me tonight, in those boots. I spent a bit of time on it, running hard kino and blowing out random chode-of-destiny who I swear was about to hit me in the back of the head. He stormed out superpissed and I went back to being me.  I rocked the dancefloor, acting a fool. I did something wrong though, TinyTot got super cold all of the sudden. She shifted hardcore, and the look on her face was saying... wait: you're serious. I thought this was all a joke (I've been getting that alot lately). She freezed me out and I channelled EVM and retaliated. Way too reactive, but when I'm breaking down my own reality that hard... I react in wierd ways.

MostLikely showed up and I ran down the rapport path. That might work, but she's the kind of girl that is an expert at this stuff and keeps saying what people want to hear. Set up another Day2 (Day3 now?) and she took off, had to work at 6.

BPoetAngel showed up with her brother, AMOGCupCheck and this other guy who keeps showing up. A little how do you all know each other reveals that he's her ex-boyfriend, just broke up 4 days ago. I started running game hard, and he got all uppity. He blew out my boy HalfWing really hard and I backed out so we all didn't have a bad night. I know CupCheck and Poet's ex would get all fight-or-flight when threatened, and I like this club. We've definitely created some haters by being us. Yay! we have haters! We must be some kind of successful.

I opened this cute club girl on the dancefloor, but sacrificed her to CupCheck when he showed up. He seems happy. Maybe he'll stop being a prick. Probably not. Opened another girl and she fully put the stopsign hand in my face and said she was meeting this guy for a dance-off here. I said "Whoah, I wouldn't want to cockblock..." and the guy rolled in. Turns out it was one of my auxillary wingmen; PUALegendsOfTheFall, so I let it go.

The whole night was a wierd energy. I didn't know if it was my hyper-escalating attitude, or if I was just taking out the weekend's frustration on the crowd. It must have had something to do with my own stuff, but it all just felt really wierd. I think most of my escalation stuff is taking people who know me by surprise, plus it's not entirely authentic since I don't really want to escalate anybody but Image. I don't know what's up... but I've got to get out of this dark place in my head. Whatever I was projecting was seriously turning everything hostile. On the other hand, I'm on my way to becoming a real sexual threat. I've never had girls straight freeze me out before. Am I failing new tests? Whatever. I'm off to bed.
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