Yesterday was raining even more than on previous day, super rainy. Sucks, really. To be honest I only did three approaches.
Let's call this week "keep it small week & play small ball game".
I also got scared and didn't approach a girl whom my dick really liked and would have appreciated a lot. Embarassed to tell you this doesn't happen that often in the day time, especially not when it's so obnoxiously raining. What an angel, she had that "blow job smile" and daisy eyes.
In the rain it sucks, because you can't evaluate most girls before approaching as they hide under their hoodies and umbrellas.
Also I choded out on the opportunity to go hit some night club, it was karaoke night. Students' party too. Should have gone. I had to wake up early today, so that was my rationalization, but damn, now I regret it.
And the [Sister Girl] I met two weeks ago found me on facebook and invited to be friends. I never gave her my last name or anything, fucking scary when you think about how little privacy one has these days, eh.
And I hope it's the last ever :) it's probably the most gay close possible.
It was showering all day. I was even thinking to hit the mall for some approaches, but because the mall sucks, I hit the streets anyway. All wet in 5 minutes, no umbrella, going raw. All girls are wet too. Some have umbrellas though. Still wet.
One girl frowns, another girl smiles, and this girl invites me under her umbrella. Umbrella Close! in addition to the lame facebook close.
She's really cute, so I state my interest right away, she seems surprised, but rolls along with it. Keeps telling me how strange it is to her. "Omg it's so strange, omg I don't know if I want to see you again, it's all so strange to me!"
Silly girl, she won't see me again. Simple as that, why worry and drama about it? But she gave me her facebook contacts.
Actually, I wanted to check her facebook profile out, but I forgot her last name, didn't write it down. All I remember that it was a one funny last name. Made me laugh when I heard it..
Approached a couple more girls, 5 or 6 in total and choded the rest of my rainy session.
What the fuck, seriously. This was supposed to be a [FR] post. It is not. Well, I went out allright and I've approached 4 different girls, but these approaches, well, they were lame, not that I was lame, I was cool as always, but the way handled my walk ups, that makes me vomit and tear my hairs out after the session, it's just I do not push anymore.
as if it's a fcking joke, no intent, no soul, no heart, no dick behind my approaches, their made of shitpaper. I approach and I eject, without even trying to push interaction in any way or direction. And *that* is LAME. Yesterday for the first time I felt like I'm wasting my time.
what the fck? My brain will need to realise one thing though, I will keep going out and wasting my time in this fashion. Whatever it takes. To hell with results, I (or whoever possesed me ]=)) don't even want them apparently, so it's all about the process.
Funny thing is, I've already been down this road before, so essentially all my inner resistance is futile in the end, I know I will break through it, sooner or later. I just hope it's going to be sooner rather than later.
Actually when I think about it, it's such a shame to waste my youth and wits NOT pimping, that I immediately start to blush. Maybe I'm a shy guy, but I have a different vision for myself, not-shy one. So what the hell. I will keep banging my head against the wall up until the point where I can finally explode, for better or for worse.
Quick evaluation of the past week and some of my goals for the next one. I think these weekly reviews are good way to keep track of what and how I'm doing, I like it, and I want to keep logging these every sunday/monday.
Last week was one big wave, awesome, going up, and then crashing down, not so awesome. It's all good, all are valuable experiences so I don't care anymore.
I approached around 20-25 girls last week, closed a couple of numbers and initiated a couple of insta-dates, proceeded with one day2. All of this in the first half of the week. Beast timez, yo!
Second half of the week was not so good. I got paranoid, success barriers and different fears came to the surface and I froze into one bitter chumpy dude, which - taking fancy words away - means I became passive.
Could be much worse so I'm not complaining.
> 5 days in field, cold approaching, process oriented, inducing F(to the)U(to the)N.
> Cut the damn sugar (how did I end up eating sugar anyway>?) .
> No money no honey - make a plan for $.
> Plan the trip to Asia.
> Read books.
> Move out from GF.
> Write write write [keep the blog].
> Talk more.
> Take a look at these goals during the week, not just at another weekly evaluating post.
The week started great but then, somewhere along the way I lost it, stopped moving forward and decided to stagnate. Yesterday was terrible, I had close to zero motivation to apprach girls, still got out of house and went to field.
I said 'hi' to four girls. One in shopping mall, others in da street.
I was walking so fast I almost injured my foot.
Emotional down ville. Apparently my mind can't take me living with one girl and approaching others at the same time very well. Pathetic financial situation I'm in doesn't help here either.
I'm becoming a bitter man, fuck. Today, however as I write this post, I'm in a happy state, chill, slept it off I guess.
p.s. How did I spend Friday evening? In a grocery store! Take that..
More day game. It's calm. No loud music, no crazyness, no drama. It has somewhat of a medidative air about it.
I don't warm up, don't try to unstifle my voice, no singing in the car, nothing. Wonder how will I do without it.
I also lack intent big time. Why am I talking to this girl? Not to win, not to get her. Just for playing's sake, to get better social skills, not this girl.
I do several half assed approaches. Do one good approach from the heart, a girl is a cutie and I'm aggressive with her from beginning, walk with her, but then gradually become more and more passive and let her go about her way.
Do another good approach from the heart (at least opening), but halfway in stating my interest I realise I'm not interested, something about her face turns me off and it becomes very awkward. I guess this is something what a girl experiences when she's approached in a cool way, only to realize soon that dude is a chode.
I saw one girl I really liked, we had eye contact, but she was talking with her friend so I only said hi when we passed, she said hi back to me and smiled, but I choded away.
Funny, how it is sometimes, when I talk I lack interest, when I have interest I don't talk.
I wanted to brag about something, but I have nothing. Maybe that I haven't washed my hair for a week. Nah, I should just put an end to this post.
Yay, day game again! Pump my state up in the car singing Red Hot Chili Peppers songs and then, descend upon them streets like Zarathustra from the mountain.
Except my state gradually evaporates as I walk in the cold streets with cool wind blowing through. Poooof... No girls that I'd like to talk to. By the time I reach the main shopping street and Old Town, where those girls at, there's no state left to talk to them. I wander like a chode, bitter, saying hi to maybe three girls only.
My mind comes up with all kind of brilliant ideas, like 'you'll do it tomorrow', 'you'll do it when you move to a different city' etc etc. NO. Nein nein nein! Nicht, I have to do it today. To hell with personal jesus, sometimes you need to summon personal hitler, to kick your ass. Hot Blonde ahead.I'm not in state, fuck it, at least say 'hi' and hold eye contact. I do it and she stops! I pause, kind of confused, smiling at her, it's all funny, and it kinda wakes me up from lethargy and I proceed with direct introduction, 'hey, you seem really cool, i want to meet you bla bla, where you going, fine, cool, i'll walk with you'.
Bam, sounds mechanic by now, but I really mean it all. And we are walking together... to some pizzeria/cafe. I get a milkshake, it boosts my state and it's all good. I try to be relaxed and chill, but damn girl, she is hot, type of girl I used to be so intimidated by in my teenage years. Not a blonde by nature, but her eyes are light, which is perfect for her face.
I try to shoot the shit, but my vibe is too serious, can't really get myself into that fun bullshit talking mode, plus we're sitting across the table so I can't touch her in any way, my arms too short. The only state booster left is my milkshake which I finished already. Sucks to be me.
I'm kidding! I think it's all pimp moves, like, if that waiter chode knew that I only met this girl ten minutes ago, well, he just would not believe it probably. Instant date is badass, doesn't matter that it gets me nowhere :) .
Out in the street again, she doesn't want to give me her number, I push push push, but end up giving her mine, saying it's 9876543210 and she saves it! LOL. And then tries to call me! I stop laughing and say I gave a wrong number, show her the number she saved and she laughs and pretends to be pissed (maybe she is, I would be..), I give her the right number, hug her and tell her to call me. She probably won't, but I don't care.
It ended up to be a long set, so I have no time left and have to go home, but I'm in state now, so I approach two more girls. Quickly.
One was standing by the traffic light, it's one of the situations where it felt uncomfortable for me to approach, but I did it and it went well, the girl loved it. Traffic light approach - CHECK.
I had my day2 yesterday with a cool blondie chick, first day2 in a long while, and you know what? cold approaching is a LOT MORE FUN.
Maybe this day2 was boring, or maybe I was boring, or maybe it's because it was with the sun high up in the sky, I don't know, but first time with this girl was so much more fun. Maybe she's not the right girl for me (of course she's not, duh, i'm a playa for life yo!).
Anyway, we decide to meet up before I leave my hometown, she's late, so I've only have 40minutes to spend on this girl. And I don't know what or why I'm gonna do, there are many girls swirling in the streets (spriiiing!!) and I wish I'd rather spend these minutes cold approaching those others. 'cause deep down I know this is going nowhere, I'm not gonna lay her during our date and I know that this is probably the last time I see her. But fuck it, make decision to have fun anyway.
Which I actually do, I have fun, she has her fun, she doesn't admit that but she likes to be teased, she's a girl. She keeps saying how much she hates me, but you know what it really means. We just shoot the shit and part our ways.
Back to my bigger city, I go and hit the streets up right away. I feel good, there's very little approach anxiety/hesitation to approach left, I care little about anything, do couple of warm ups and hit on super attractive bird. She is so, sooo awesome. So friendly too, she greets me like she knows me (that's impossible, I'd remember her), so comfortable about this, like it happens to her all the time. So I ask, and she says, yeah, she gets approached by strangers two or three times a day. LOL, that's funny.
I walk with her to the bus stop, we talk, she's super chill and fun girl to hang with, hands down amazing. She has the sparkles in the eyes that I find so attractive, if you know what I mean, like she's genuinely happy person inside. Personally, I can't resist it.
The bus comes however, which she doesn't notice at first, but being a fool I am I ask 'isn't this your bus?' and she says 'oh, yeah, that's mine!' and runs to it. I chase her and catch her arm shouting 'hey girl, wait wait, give me your number girl', but she doesn't. I could have jumped on the bus with her and continue this adventure, but I was too slow at processing what is happening around me.
Next time! Push harder and be more adventurous, aye~!
I did 6 approaches in total, two of them from the heart, others were half-assed efforts. It was fun though, all good.
But I need to move to a different city, can't take this more seriously when my girlfriend lives here and can't leave my girlfriend yet. More on this next time.
If you read this and have any comments, or feedback, good or bad, you I know I really appreciate it. Peace!
New week, new field time. For the last fortnight I've been out 11 days out of 14, took a day off on Sunday and felt like god on rest. eLOheL. But starting monday I'm back at work. With a happy track in my mind.
It is comical and great for good attitude, though yesterday I was tuning 'love is in the air' :) but who cares.
I am out in streets, it'a beautiful day, sun is shining, I can finally get some Vitamin D and smell the spring (I live in damn Arctic Pole!) coming, not much females around, but you only need one at least, right? Warm up by asking directions, one two, then hit the main street and hit the main girl yo.
[Cool Blondie] Good looking blonde, blue eyes, hot body. Wow. Not the model type hottie, but girl next door type of hottie. My type. Lock her eyes, smile and "hey hi!", she stops and classical 'do I know you?' comes out of her mouth. *SIDE NOTE* Disregard this question at all times! It's not worth answering it, it's a stupid question and who answers stupid questions? yeah, only stupids* I just go "yeah, I saw you, and I just really want to meet you, my name is 6pac", handshake with eyes locked, "where do you go? cool, I'll walk with you". I guess it's standard, but I said it from the heart, really meant it.
Start walking and talking, connecting, teasing her. This girl is cool, just has that vibe. Ask what she's doing later, take her number and promise to call her later for a meet up.
[Drill Ground] Bam, several minutes later approach another one, from behind this girl looked even hotter than the cool blondie, but from the front not so much, she's nice though, definetely attractive, just not my type exactly. I open with the same "hey hi, I turned around, I saw you, I have to meet you know' you seem cool, nice and bla bla, only this time I don't really mean it. But she buys it, smiles all the time and basically loves it. I take her on an Insta Date for a walk to the lake. I am muthafuckin drill machine. I walk, talk and tease her and pump her state just for the drill. Take her number too at the end. She makes me call her phone, I don't want to do it, but oh well, I say "just don't call me for any reason" or some shit like that.
Then I open another girl, she freaks out, I walk with her but she's visibly shy and uncomfortable about the matter so fuck her. Eject. Some girls are not visually worth it, you know.
Walk back to my car and call the cool blondie up. She picks it up, her voice is so damn sexy on the phone, I love it. We agree to meet in fifteen minutes.
[Day1te] Awesome stuff, we go for a walk around the lake, it's a beautiful day out there, warm, I tease her hard, she tries to act upset about it, which I know she's not, I find it all cute though. I'm not physical with her, I'm not that physical during the day in general (limiting belief???), I hug her couple of times, take her by the hand and lead her to walk on ice, she squeeze my hand, good sign.
I have to say this girl is really cool, fun, healthy (none of that smoking bs etc.) and she looks good too. So I enjoy this walk. At the end we hug and kiss, peck on the lips only, no make out, and she runs away. Whatever, it's all good.
I also tried to contact [sister girl] from saturday night, but she doesn't respond my texts and doesn't pick up the phone. Deleted the shithole bar's bartender's number without ever contacting her. She's not for me.
I'm meeting cool blondie today. Let's see how cool is she.