So I have a job. That's a good news. Bad news? it is fucken soul destroying.
Why? Not even had I to give up on and postpone to the autumn my summer challenge, challenge of going out for 90 days straight, but I also am working 13 hours a day, seeing no women, by seeing I mean there is NO WOMEN for me to even look at, just zero feminine presence. And I live with three other dudes. My coworkers. They are all I see. And the work that I do.
Soul detroying, man. I haven't had a boner for a WEEK. Longest time ever since I was a little kid maybe.
I had one today, because I checked facebook, looked at first pic with some random girl I barely know, got massive boner and closed it forever. Seriously I don't even want those kind of distractions because my dick forgot about it all. LOL.
It's not that bad. It's just been one week of me working. And one week passed since I last approached some girl. It was super awesome!
It is awersome now too. I am building serious work ethics and making some good money for myself, so come autumn I can hit it up like never before. I mean I'm serious about this pick up shit. Seriously serious.
Am I rationalizing? Rationalizing that I have to work instead of going out? FUCK YOU. I am not.
Did I make a mistake taking this job? Maybe. I don't know, it might have been a mistake, it might have been the best possible decision for me at the moment.
I made decision to commit to this job, so that will I do. And if any girl cross my way, baby, it's game on, even if I'm dirty and smell like shit. Tomorrow I will probably have my first day off, so we'll see. I might happen to meet some girls.
Work hard, play hard.
It is a SHAME I failed on my summer callenge, but fuck it, let's stay positive, work HARD, and then I'm done, PLAY even harder.
Day before yesterday. Last set, I'm on my way to my car.
Hot angel face blondie. Waiting for someone. Perfect situation to approach, I still have hesitations, because she's very hot. Go in anyway.
"What are you waiting for?" my standard opener in these situations.
She smiles right away, and says she's waiting for two guys.
Okay," I say, "one of them has arrived, forget the other one, let's go with me" .
To my astonishment, she says "Okay and starts walking with me. What the fuck. But I'm glad. I say my name and shake hands. She tells me her name. Then she stops shocked. "Your name is different! You are not whom I've been waitng for!! OMG OMG" Now, I'm really confused, like w-h-a-t t-h-e- f-u-c-k....
So it turns out, she's waiting for a blind date!! Can you believe it! She was waiting for some chode guys (two of them!!!) to go on a blind date, and behold, met a cool guy like me. Must be destiny.
I tease her hard about the whole situation. And because she reacts very well, is friendly and laughing the whole time, and she's hoooooot, I get 'permission' to hit a crazy potent state. I know I know, external factor, but I'm still a newbie at this, so fuck it, I use hot girl's validation to hit the state hardcore.
Obviously she loves it. :) Gives away her number without a second thought and promises to meet with me the next day.
I am feeling like a motherfucking PIMP ! ...
... right until the moment she flakes on our meeting! LOL
Still not a pimp enough to pull a hot ass chick like that, feels good anyway. None of my friends or people I know can do that, so I'm still buzzing here x-X
Summer kicked in, and it is time again to review, evaluate and reevaluate my actions and goals.
Without further ado
o Summer Challenge. Main thing. I've started it and been going out cold approaching for 4 days in a row already. I wanted it to be smooth and beautiful but it's hard and ugly.
Just get it done. It's not gonna be easy though, mostly because of logistical issues, but I will give it my best shot.
o Loud Voice. My projection and tonality got slightly better in last week, which is really cool. Mainly because I am focusing my attention on using voice more than before. That's all it takes really - conscious efforts. Realizing the benefits of loud talking, realizing you've permission to loud talking and then remember to talk loud. Get a habit of talking loud.
I get much better compliance from people when talking loud, so it's worth my while to get it into my unconscious competence part of brain.
o Physical Supremacy. Even though I'm still down few pounds, I've regained my full previous pre-India strength. And being few pounds light is not a bad idea at all for my plan to run a marathon race later this year. Have to take care of my precious joints!
Eating well too, so it's all good. It's going to be a summer of good eating, lots of sun and barefooting (strengthens hamstrings and tendons, helps to prevent common injuries!) as much as possible for me.
o $ income / business. On hold. For the period of summer my focus will be on performing well at work and doing everything in my power to get the social edge. Hopefully, I'll get paid, I'll get bitches, then I turn my focus on my business dreams.
o Get a Job. Done. Got a well-paying job. Next goal is perform great at it, and develop strong work ethics. And, as the old saying goes, 'Be Happy in Your Work!'
o Contribution. I'm trying to contribute in small ways that I can. I'm recycling garbage, delivered some food to poor and homeless, trying to help people online (projects like couchsurfing.org), helped my grandma in a farm, saved a bird, and providing RSD Nation with blog posts and field reports :)) That is all good, keep it on.
o 10 Days Mental Challenge. I have completed Tony Robbins' positivity challenge and continue on with focusing on solutions as opposed to the problems and to what's positive as opposed to what's negative. And I feel great.
Let's get those emotions handled and working for me not against me. Emotional Mastery FWD!
That is all y'all! In conclusion, it's nothing less than awesome this life, and it is only up to me to live it fully. Bang it on, PIMP IT '_'
Yo yo, I'm about to document days #2 and #3, so read it up, yo .
Aye. It was in my province town, so I had little selection of girls to choose from, nonetheless I did approach some very hot chicks, I've approached the hottest girls I've seen that day. PROPS!
Bang. On day #2 it was raining, but hell or high water as they say, first set - a cute mini skirt with umbrella. "Can I join you under the umbrella? No, she says :) Despite that, she did like me and was very willing to chat with me. Didn't go on insta date though, boyfriend.
I dunno, maybe, maybe not, in any case I see it as a very good sign if a girl says she has a boyfriend, it means I come off as a dangerous man who can fuck her or at least a danger of intimacy or romance, and some fag boy who can go shopping together. Aye!
She was cute. Did 4 approaches overall. They didn't go well, but what I liked about them that I took a risk and made efforts to push it, abusing their personal spaces with my voice. That is good.
Chang. Day #3. It's sunday. Streets are e.m.p.t.y. Like, zero people, zero girls. I decide to take a walk anyway, just for the fun of it. Walked for two ours and met three girls. :) But! - all quality girls, all very sexy girls.
Approached a 2set, two hot girls. One very hot, another very cute :) it's always uncomfortable for me to approach 2sets, and I don't really know yet how to handle two girls at once yet. So, I give myself huge respect for my actions. They're friendly and giggling, obviously liking me to an extent, but I just don't know how to escalate. Oh, actually they didn't want to talk to me initially, but I insisted and started walking with them and soon they cracked open. Handshakes, no problem. Still insisted that they want to talk alone, haven't seen each other for a long time and bla bla bla. Bullshit. So I stick. Try to arrange a meeting in the evening with the hotter one, but she says she has a boyfriend (again!! whoohoo). I think she lies, but they both hold this frame, and eventually I leave.
That was FUN. All that matters. Approach is my criteria for success.
Cool. I met one more hot chick on my way home. Big TITS! I mean - wow, and she's lean, it looks like a miracle, really, I'm not lying, it was awesome. Like witnessing some great anomaly in nature :)
Anyway, she was shocked but highly flattered, very cool girl, hot body (did I mention boobies?!?!) and beautiful green eyes. Got her number.
Well, ALMOST :D got a handjob and a wet pussy, but still was left with nothing but my dick. However I love good looking titles.
I actually planned to meet with my friends and have some friendly beers and somehow incorporate this girl into our company cause she was very eager to meet me. She's my good female friend, we know each other since junior school. And to be honest I've been jerking off to her mental and internet image on several occassions, since I was about 12 years old. She's a heroine of my hand sessions. Yup. Creepy, right. I've never really hit on her before though, just kept everything in the friends zone. By the way, she's the same cockblocking from one of my night outs.
Anyway. Because my friend wasn't picking up his phone all day, we end up meeting alone. I invite her over to my place. I am cooking my dinner and it's shitty weather outside.
We smash some beers, followed up by some liquor on top, and watch a movie under the blanket. This is crazy by the way, after I tease her a little, she starts hitting me several times. WTF? I was about to throw her out at one time, but as we got physically close, I got hard and let her be.
I was a bit drunk, so I escalated whenever I had a hard dick and stopped whenever I didn't have one. Smooth organic escalation according to my natural desires.
I didn't give a shit about outcome. The girl is very cute and have a nice tiny tight body, but I had a blowjob this late morning from my gf, then a long doggy session, then in the afternoon I masturbated, and then alcohol doesn't really add up to 'get laid or die trying' attitude either. So I don't give a fuck. Figurately I'd give if she takes it, cause I want those reference experiences! What a NERD, right.
It was funny. She's giving me a hand job in the bed and I start fingering her and then she gets uptight, uncomfortable and overall childish and virgin like (she was wet and enjoying it). So I say "we can stop, if you don't wanna do it". "Ok, let's stop". "Will you escort me home?" "Yeah, sure" "I want to go home" "Okay" "Now" "Okay, in five minutes"
Dealing with bullshit like a boss. So we just continue to lay in bed, I do nothing, lose erection, and just lay there. Couple minutes later she starts jerking my dick off again. And gets me hard again, hence organically I escalate again. Again and again, until she finally jumps out of bed and leaves. Totally cool. I get dressed and escort her home. Holding 'nothing happened, we just friends' frame.
She even asked, "what are we gonna be from now on?" me "friends, of course, nothing happened". What else??
So yeah, I've either lost a friend or added some benefits to a friend. It's up to her.
That was strangely pleasant, she said. I go home and catch on some sleep.
In the morning I get all pissed off, because I found a cold sore/blister on my lip aka Herpes Labialis. Apparently, once you get the virus, it stays within your system for life! So much for being healthy motherfucker.
Damn it! She also has a bf, with whom she lives together. Whore! Nah, it's allright, I'm not judging. It could be worse.
Walking back home alone, on the empty quiet streets, I'm feeling a little empty and a little of guilt. Thinking how it's all meaningless and it's only up to me to make the most out of my life and having fun is essential because essentially nothing else really matters. Dadadda.
Pimping is not for faint-hearted. One has to develop a strong emotional foundation to be good at this.
Indeed it does. However not exactly how I envisioned it, but WHATEVER, it has to be done in any way, nice or ugly, irrelevant.
First off - I won't be going to London after all. Shame as it is, but I got a much better job elsewhere, money-wise, and I took the opportunity. In my situation right now, it is sad, but money comes first, I'm just sick and tired of living on other people's shoulders, like some fucking dweeb, I want to pay off all my debts and just straight myself out financially, so I can at least can have the food I want on my plate, not some junk but quality food, afford different kinds of trainings, like martial arts and (maybe one day) RSD Bootcamp, and most of all just leave my old lazy self behind.
NEW IDENTITY! I am, as of this moment and forward - a hard-working productive man. A lazy boy must die.
Of course it's not gonna happen overnight. I know better. But over the period of this summer I believe I can set myself on the right path, IF I work at it. If I stick to this new identity, I'll make different decisions, better decisions some % more than before. I'll take right action some % more than before. I'll pimp some % harder than before.
And it's already GREAT, even if that "some % is only 0.01%, I don't care.
I mean, I feel good right now, I feel like I am a pretty cool and decent mothefucker right now, if I can improve on that by at least 1% - A to W to the E etc - mofackin AWESOME and huge props to me.
So yeah, I sold my summer. And for a couple of days I meditated on this idea and felt like sedated and strangely strange and melancholic. I even forgot completely about my summer challenge intentions.
Actually, I just rememberd that it is summer already only a couple of hours ago. It was like, fuck, I was asleep. Time to wake up!
And went straight to the mall. Delivered some food to the poor and homeless on my way (contribution!). That's a good deed. And went for cold approaches.
Did 3 of them. That is cool, even if I intended to do 5 approaches. My action taking process sucked. Kinda. I approached three very cute girls. One of them went really well and she liked me right off the bat but I was too much of a to escalate on that.
Why was I too much of a pussy? Maybe because I was asleep for last few days and didn't go out to cold approach, and had no social momentum and habit to open strangers going on me. Yeah, probably that. Definetely that.
Good news it is easily fixable. MOMENTUM. That is the answer.
Next day I will hit harder. And it will be awesome.
Today was one of those "busy" days. It's all bullshit fucking excuse of course, but I really felt like I have no time left for going out. Bullshit. Tyler said, everyone can go out for at least 20 minutes a day. WORDS of WISDOM.
WOW. What an epiphany, I know. But really, most of the excuses to not go out is petty bullshit. So I look at my watch and go predator mode for twenty minutes. Streets of my province town aren't safe these days.
Field Report. Not many bitches, ahem, girls are out, it's normal, and I don't put my headphones on, so no soundtrack - I have to draw state from within, haha. Allright.
First cool girl I see, I say 'hello' and she ignores me and keeps walking by me, that pisses me off to be honest, so I say 'hello!' again, this time in a different tonality. Verbally I said 'hello' but I really meant 'you better stop right now', in all of BR's glory. ANd she stopped, shocked but smiling, and turned towards me. Wow. Tonality is huge.
It's probably my main sticking point right now, tonality. If I could get myself to project my voice like this every time... One day motherfuckers, one day I'll show you :) However, most of the times I don't do it, basically because I am what Julien called "Permission Boy in his last article, at the moment. I've to admit that, I'm looking for external permissions way too often. But all in good time, as they say.
So yeah, that was huge lesson here for me, power of tonality, amazing.
Next girl I talk to looks very young, and I ask for how ols is she, and she's under 18, so fuck off, I'm screening hard now :D
The third was the best (momentum?). Cool chick, cool dressed, beautiful body, very cute. She's down to meet me right off, stopped to talk t me no questions, she's from out of town, and I'm leaving today as well, so I try to arrange a day2 next week, tue or wed, and she's cool, down for it. Awesome we vibe a little, let her enter her number in my cell, very smooth, nice n' easy, I take her by the hand and pull her in for hug. That feels good.
Another lesson, I'm very effective at getting numbers. If I talk to a girl for longer than a minute, I almost always end up getting a number, talk about high batting average! LOL. Not that it's a big deal, but I just want to praise myself. Another thing is that I don't follow up on those numbers, most of them are solid numbers but I don't set up day2s. For one reason (logistics) or another (gf). Whatever, I'll push it thru.
So that was my 20mins session, very fun, very awesome, cold approach pick up is amazing, I'm outta here, peace!
It helps. To approach a girl. From behind. :) actually, whenever in doubt, just focus all your attention on the girl's ass. Good well-rounded sexy ass that is. You can forget momentum and entitlement issues, good ass is more important. When i was about to chode away, i did exactly that, it gave me a nice attitude and i approached this sweet girl with super friendly yet sexy vibe. It went well, round-ass bitches like me. That's my quick mobile version of field report. Damn good booty! However, the real lesson from field today is - approaching girls from behind = gambling. Sexy back does not mean adequate (to the ass) face. Sometimes girls have very incongruent faces (to their asses), so you never know what your gonna get. Sometimes gambling can be the most fun thing to do, and a lot of times, good ass is enough and nothing else matters. God, do i love good bottom [lines] !
After a few days of chilling (seemed like a year lol) I went out for "sarging" today. And it was strange at first, the breaks you take affects your habit to approach, at least in the beginning. It takes a little bit more time to warm up and mentally prepare for approaching girls, a little bit more "approach anxiety" than usual.
Mind tries to play its tricks "it's not you; take it easy, bro; think about the children, whatever crap". It's funny. Blasting some rap tunes into your ears helps big time, and you forget about it, and go for it. Slowly, confronting those hostile vicious girls, hahaha.
First few sets didn't hook, though they giggled, but I was a bit of a pussy. :)
Last couple sets hooked nicely though, too bad one of them has a boyfriend. But she was hooked alright, said that it was very brave approach I did, and I'm like "lol, no way, clawing you from behind would have been brave (I stalked her from behind ^_^)" she laughs. She was okay, but looked WAY much better from behind. That's probably the biggest disadvantage of approaching girls from behind - you never know what you're gonna get :)
It was the most intimidating approach today, only because she looked so sexy from behind, then I saw her face and I relaxed. But she's nice, really nice, I had a hard on, wheee.
Last one was a number close. However... she's only 16. Dammit, again!
I'm getting a bad habit to take underage girls' numbers. Bad. But she's very fine, hot hot. I hold her hand and I feel she's blushing and shakin' a little bit. Then I hug her and let go. Take a number.
Age of consent in my country is 16. So I guess it's not that wrong, and I'm not some old creepy man, I look like a teenager myself :) am I rationalizing here?
ABUNDANCE mentality! There are plenty of grown girls (well, in my province not that many).
Okay, main point is - that was fun. Girls are fun.
P.S. I'm on my 7th or 8th day of TR's Mental Challenge, awesome!