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6pac
 
Another interesting thing I noticed in myself why I failed to approach is that I don't make a clear decision in my head that I'm going to approach a girl, I refuse to make that decision, it's like I'm not willing to burn that bridge. I leave myself a way to back off and save my self-image and keep my ego pretty much undisturbed.

I leave myself an easy way out and then I can rationalize on whatever bullshit reasons after, I didn't really want it, there were too many people, wrong circumstances, girl was too young, too old, too ugly, too hot and everything else in between.

If the circumstances are comfortable and the girl fits that "golden average standard" (not too hot, not too ugly, not on phone, alone, etc.) then I might approach but if not then I might not [approach].

I guess it is unconscious defense mechanism to preserve my self image in my own eyes.

It goes like this: I see girl and I ASK my mind "are we gonna do it?" and of course the answer is "no" because it knows I'm not used to do it, it is not "normal" behaviour to me and it can come up with a million different reasons why not to do it. Instead I should COMMAND my mind and state "we are doing it, get ready and quick!".

It comes down to who's in control at the moment - your conscious self or your unconscious self. If I you don't have a unconscious habit to approach girls, it gonna say no and pass on the opportunity. So you have to stay conscious and make a conscious decision to go for it.

I don't know if this makes any sense. Also it's easier said than done, of course.
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#1

Waginator

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/10/2011 | Posts: 272

It makes sense. This reminds me of juliens article about how when he would go out and he was first starting out he would only approach girls who were alone or with one or two female friends. He wouldn't go near a girl down the street or in a car. He seemed to indicate that he was putting the girls on a pedastool and projecting all this value onto them. I just watched alexs video about how your game is not bad and how girls view us as being on the pedastool and that they see us as confident and calm and they get a bit intimidated and don't respond in a way that we like. Just today I emailed this girl and got a cliche response. I don't really think this girl could know me just by email...so I just say shit I took action and got a less than stellar response ooh well fuck it...at least I did take action. So lately when I'm out I don't really care if the approach goes well. I just express myself and the girl either likes me or not lol its funny actually cuz I know this shit is just a hobby. I can close a number I can get a same night lay blah blah blah. When you don't approach don't beat yourself up but also realize taking action means approaching and taking whatever comes.
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