6pac's Blog

I guess it's time to introduce myself. RSD style.

I am 24 yrs old male, I've been around with 8 girls (yeah bro, I counted just now!). Including my current girlfriend, we've been together for 4 years. 4 fucking years. I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know what I am thinking now. There hasn't been a year I haven't tried to run away from her. Last week I broke up with her, and we are still living together in her parents' house!

My life is pretty fucked up. Ain't got no bitches, ain't got no money, ain't got no job, ain't got no car, ain't got no college degree, ain't got no real skill in life really. Pretty miserable. I've been asleep for a very long time, so long I don't know if I will wake up again. Of course I've got plenty of things I am grateful for in my life too, and in general I am a happy person, probably I am the most positive person I personally know. Just too satisfied and too lazy.

I have that curse of  a seed in my mind thinking "I'm special and things will happen anyway", which tends to be so popular nowadays. It is like a mental cancer, which I'm gradually getting rid of but it's still there, the fucker. I'm soft whiny-ass cry baby and I hate myself for that.

I've been in this game thing for more than five years now, ever since the spring of 2006, when I first stumbled upon David and downloaded his ebook. It changed my perspective on life forever. I even landed my first girlfriend ever that spring. I was still in high school and she was my classmate. She had another boyfriend too. He lived in another town and she cheated him with me. She was pretty hot and smart, she also used drugs, but it was all good, I felt as cool as never before. However I was too chode to properly fuck her anyway. I was afraid. The fear would freeze me up and when you're frozen, you can't get your dick hard. That was really embarassing.

I blew quite a few girls away because of that problem until I finally got over it and became comfortable enough in my own skin to offer girls a hard dick. That shit is embarassing. My score number too, could be bigger if I were more dick friendly myself. But I got over it, all is fine, I carry out erection all the time now.

In year 2007 I took a weekend workshop. Not with RSD though, it was another company, but it was quite good, they preached natural game too. I practiced routine based canny game for some nine months(after reading The Game and studying the archives of all those notorious characters in the book)  but haven't got ANY success (except some flaky phone numbers) with it. So natural game really liberated me and then was the time that my life got better for realz. I scored a couple of girls, I even pulled a drunk girl from a night club to the hotel during the workshop! The instructor said I'm gonna be the shit, "deadly" dangerous in a couple of years.

What he didn't know though, that I was a dabbler, soft lazy-ass bitch. So, sure enough, when I started dating my current girlfriend and we really hit it off, I stopped approaching other girls. I got emotionally addicted to that one girl. And she was a fine girl, beautiful ass, cute, funny, feminine and I just loved her energy. But that wasn't why I did this whole game pick up thing, I still didn't have this area of my life handled so it also was an easy way out to feel good and content about myself. I am naturally introverted person, so I enjoyed staying at home with his girl and just having sex in a bed and then going to sleep.

Tyler, where was your video Crawling Out of Neediness When You're First Dating back then, huh???
(just kidding, I can only blame my own weak ass)

Needless to say my progress stopped and now, four years later I'm at the same level I was back then. Interesting thing, how people get used to the comfort and just fall asleep, pretending everything is fine. Yeah, sure my inner game got better and all that shit. And I also jerked off to herds of different girls on the internet. Good stuff. I've even got a couple of one night stands here and there, when I was out of country. Cheating. At the same time, using my girlfriend as an excuse not to approach other girls even if I really wanted to. Playing games with myself. Like a little without integrity.

So here I am, all sad with an underdeveloped self. Trying to convince myself that it's never to late to start heading the right direction. Crying for attention and a hard kick in the ass.
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