6pac's Blog

That's how I felt yesterday infield, like working in office, dull and boring. I dragged myself out of the house to the streets to approach girls and talk, but it wasn't fun. It was frustrating and I struggled for a good hour till I made my 5 approaches, so I can get out of here.

Approach anxiety came out of the shadows again, I was in my head, thinking out the situations, caring about bullshit and making stupid rationalizations. Somehow I thought I'm already past the approaching issue and took it for granted. A day before I had a good day out and yesterday unconsciously (even consciously) I wanted to make it even better, I wanted better results than from the previous day and I was very outcome dependent. I was screening out the girls to approach, looking for those sets who'd go 'well'. Stupid stupid, this is not the way to go about this.

That results oriented thinking and caring about the outcome took all the fun from me and the entire session was a drag, painful one. Also I wanted to pee really bad but I wouldn't let myself until I accomplish my mission, so yeah, it was painful, physically.

The fact that I jacked off (twice, actually...) before going out didn't add additional motivation or desire to hit them girls hard either. It was weird, but the good thing is that I've approached them anyways. 5 approaches, one 2set, one number close. And girls I did approach were hot. If I consider this to be a bad day, then it is fucking awesome. Just compare this to my Sucker Shit post from last week and that's some huge progress right here.

I still suck a shit but my approaching muscle got a little bit stronger, I've developed some willpower to push myself, which is amazing really.

Quick field report [FR]. I get into the sloppy headspace from the beginning (kind of), but somehow I push myself to stop and talk to a pair of hot hot girls. They didn't look that hot from the distance but when I got into their faces close up - holy shit! I froze to be honest, I shook their hands, introduced myself and tried to stammer out some jokes, but my mind was all like 'you can't handle these girls, what you're gonna do, they're too  hot', damn bastard, fucked up my swagger. One was blonde with blue eyes, very sexy, the other had black hair and shiny white teeth, brown eyes, both hot bodies. Jeez, and it was me who ejected, I couldn't handle the pressure. Damn.

After this I was just choding around, my voice was stifled as fuck so other girls didn't hook and didn't stop, except for this one, she seemed legit from the distance but not so much up close. She's not that bad, but not my type either. She was into me though, so I took her number. Just for the drill, like a robot. I've already deleted it. I mean, she's fuckable for a one night stand but I don't want to play numbers game with her, especially when I haven't done anything with the library chick's number yet.

That's probably another reason why I felt so unmotivated yesterday, it seems kinda pointless if I can't follow up on my successes. I got this cool chick's number, she wants to meet me again and I can't go hang out with her because I've got a girlfriend at home. A number close is a dead end.

I must reframe my mind to have fun infield anyway. Today I'll go easy, don't expect any results, just approach 5 sets, one 2set, and have fun. What's the point otherwise? 

Peace out brothers, better dayz will come.
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