I've consolidated the first few posts to my actual blog here, I'll make subsequent posts in separate blog posts.
Thanks for reading, leave your feedback! :)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My goal: 500 words every two days. I can't guarantee it will always be PUA, but I can guarantee that it will always be entertaining and insightful.
My story: I've always been interested in PUA and Social Psychology, though I have a tough time referring to the entire body of knowledge as 'PUA' or 'Social Psychology'. It seems to me at times that there are theories that don't belong under either. Regardless, my thirst for knowledge, and my love for women are what drive me in this adventure. I've modeled myself after the greatest seducers, Marilyn Monroe, Giacomo Casanova, the great Duke De Richelieu. These are all my inspirations, my superheros.
It seems to me that most people get into PUA after one single inciting incident, the straw that broke the camels back and forced them to type the dreaded "How to pick up women" in to Google. I'd like to note that as I'm typing this here, I'm chatting over text with my oneitis about how we're going to see the world. We'll call her 'Em' from here on out. I honestly don't remember how I heard of or found PUA. As long as I can remember really, I've known of it's existence. My recent re-involvement with it has to do with Em though. I met her over the summer, and at that point in my life I had temporarily picked up PUA again. I wasn't running game on her, I don't even think I was terribly attracted to her, she was just fun and exciting, and she asked me for my phone number. When she asked me, I remember being confused, and unsure of why she would want it. And it struck me, after I walked her to her car that night, that I had a chance with this girl.
And so that's how it happened. I re-learned PUA, I got back into that "I'm the shit" mindset. The confidence filled me and I had the girl. The second time I ever saw her, I spent the entire day with her, and had her back at my house, in my bed. We were laying there, staring into each other's eyes. We had never even spoke before the first couple days, and I asked her, "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" and she responded "I don't know." I should have kissed her right then, but I didn't. It was my first and probably fatal mistake with this girl. Fast forward-- she tells me she doesn't know if she's ready to be in a relationship yet. I 'respect' that, and never push the interaction. I don't know why, but I dropped PUA when I met her. I had fallen in love.
I know now that if I would've pushed the interaction I would have her. I learned something from her that will be essential for the rest of my life. Always pull the trigger. Always.
So maybe in the course of writing this first post I've finally determined what got me back into PUA. I'm always going to have the choice. The interaction, from now on, will be mine. I don't feel angry though. I don't know if I could ever be angry at her. I admire her as a person, but also as a seducer. She does what we do, excellently. Without trying she exhibits excellent body language, she's confident. She made me fall in love with her, and I can't do a thing about it, even though I know exactly what she's doing.
Anyways. That's Em. I'm still chasing her, but I'm making it a point to go out and meet other women. It isn't difficult for me. Approach anxiety is like.. a fuel to me. Running sets is fun, it isn't me being desperate. I genuinely enjoy women. I love them. Their nurturing nature, their caring, their social calibration. She knows I'm still chasing her too, and she's okay with it. She has a boyfriend right now. I'm always flirting with her, and she flirts back, and lingers and.. It's all there. Just the boyfriend is in the way. It will happen, I'm a different guy than when she friend zoned me. And she can see that.
I love fighting. More than PUA or anything else. Brazillian Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwon Do. I love it. The competition of the fight. The exhilaration, the intense physical exertion. But most of all, it's the requirement to be 'in the moment'. It's moving meditation. When you're fighting someone you can't think about the girl who got away, you can't think about how much money you have, or when you need to get school work done. All you can think of is the guy in front of you, and what move he's going to make, and what move you're going to make. Minutes fly like seconds. After a fight, it's exactly like what the original Tyler Durden intoned: "After a fight, everything got the volume turned down."
Friday, December 11, 2009
You do not give a !@#$!
"The number one rule is that you do not. Give a fuck. About what anyone thinks of you."
Tim, the charismatic Aussie of Real Social Dynamics, espouses this rule in his "Flawless Natural" set of DVD's.
And Tim's number one rule is absolutely correct. It's a quality that has helped me immensely. It allows you to have incredible amounts of fun, and it makes you instantly more attractive to the opposite sex. He supplies the viewer with plenty of examples of 'state changing exercises' and 'openers', but he also makes it sufficiently clear that in the end, all of these things that he does, are done for two reasons. One is self amusement. An example of this is a game called "Dickhold Chicken" in which the player grabs his crotch and runs at a group of women. Or another example, where he tells a woman it's her birthday! Or who could forget the famous "Cyclone".
These serve no purpose other than to prove that he literally give no fucks, and is willing to have a good time.
Another fantastic point he brings up is that.. if you can't open a set with "Hey guys, what's up, my name's Tim, you guys looked like a cool group and I had to meet you." you're doing something terribly wrong. All this structured routine stuff, you need to move away from it as fast as you can! Instead of studying routines, study what makes the routines work. When you use a routine, and find it works, understand what it does to a woman, so you can play it on the fly. Study humour, and widen your vocabulary. Understand how to take a conversation down multiple threads, rather than repeatedly asking questions and stacking routines. Learn how to use key words in a sentence, and be able to make statements about them. For example, "I'm here doing some Christmas shopping for my Mother." What are the key words there? Christmas, shopping, mother. You can logically move down any of those threads from that sentence.
"Oh yeah! That reminds me, I really need to get on shopping for my sister. Hey. How adventurous are you on a scale from 1 to 257? 4? Good enough, let's go find something for my sister!"
And aside from that shameless plug for Tim and his Flawless Natural set of DVD's (which I think are absolutely fantastic) I'm brought to the subject of this post. Fun.
I am tired of the term 'sarging.' When I go out, yeah, I sometimes go out with the intention of opening sets, and practicing the different stages of my game. That mindset seriously hinders my success. It all seems like a chore after I choose that I'm going to go out and 'work' on these certain skills. I started out like any guy, throwing "Who lies more" and "Jealous girlfriend" at anything that moved, but I'm trying to move away from that. Situational openers, and direct openers serve me far better. Speaking of direct openers, I'm going to throw another shameless plug for Keychain, the #3 PUA of the RSD SuperConference. Find him at Adventures of Keychain. Some of my favorite articles are: The Daygame Primer, and The Approach Habit. Check 'em out.
Go out there. Have a great time. Don't give a fuck what people think about you. Run up to sets and dance around like a monkey. Don't think of negs as a calculated shot to lower their value, go out and tease girls for the silly things they do. Enjoy yourselves, you're meeting beautiful women. This is a social interaction for chrissake.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I hurt from the hair down
As I was driving back from Brazillian Jiu Jitsu training this afternoon I began to think of the effects of exercise on the human body. I nursed my shoulders and my abdomen as I pulled my badass Silver 1995 Pontiac Grand Am on to the highway, heading towards my home. I was in pain, but I felt great. I felt masculine. A PUA friend of mine named Locke tends to describe this feeling as 'bulletproof'. I specifically remember walking out of the studio, grinning, and bouncing. I was in such a great state, and I wonder what that type mental and emotional state would do for my seduction skills.
It is my understanding that there has been significant amounts of research on the effects of exercise and adrenaline on the human body. One such book, which I unfortunately have not read quite yet, is titled "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain". It was suggested to me when I brought this subject up to my High School Human Biology teacher, years ago. His suggestion is sufficient to merit it's mention in this article.
Not to get terribly off base, but as I was bouncing around the RSD forums as I write this (So sue me, I get sidetracked.) I came across a quote from Tyler Durden, the RSD instructor, not the Brad Pitt one.
"Most of them just look like silly retards having a fun time --which strangely, is ultimately what girls are attracted to." - Tyler D
This quote touches back upon my previous post, and the importance of going out and having a good time.
And back to exercise: "The research is convincingly clear that physical activity can help to bring about both short and long term reductions in stress, enhancement of coping mechanisms, reduction in anxiety, depression and hostility, and increased general well-being and self-concept." (Len Kravitz, Ph.D) Kravitz, in his article, summarizes many of the various effects of exercise on the human body, including many that aren't necessarily beneficial to seduction, such as the effects of exercise on bone mineral density or infection.
I'm proud to note that the section of the writing dedicated to the effects of exercise on mental and emotional health is by far the longest. "Regular physical exercise stimulates the central nervous system which increases the transport of oxygen to the brain as well as cerebral metabolic activity of various neurotransmitters including dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, and acetylcholine." This further proves the beneficial effects of exercise on the human body. As we consult Wikipedia (I'm too lazy to look up another article, but if you're interested in disputing my definitions, please feel free.) we see that dopamine is closely related to the regulation of pleasure in the brain, and serotonin is tied in with mood as well. Norepinephrine is a key in seduction, as it is an underlining trigger to the flight-or-fight response, which in turn results in many physical changes that cause attraction in females. This includes the dilation of pupils and the general increase of blood flow to skeletal muscles due to an elevated heart rate finally resulting in an increase in muscle tone. Lastly, the neurotransmitter acetylcholine plays an important role in both the central nervous system and peripheral nervous system. In the CNS, acetylcholine "has a variety of effects upon plasticity, arousal and reward." (Wikipedia) While in the PNS it takes part in the actual activation of muscles.
The increase of blood flow to the brain (elevated heart rate not only due to exercise but due to the chemicals and hormones released post-workout) provides the brain with excess amounts of oxygen to work with, causing the mind to be 'sharper' and cognitive abilities to generally improve.
All of these factors play directly into PUA.
Still don't want to hit the gym?