If you’re not sure what to ask her, this could be fatal for your first date. Most questions people ask on a first date lead to a dead end. But worry not. There is a way to use questions that will make her beg for more of you.
Most people use questions as a mean to keep the conversation going. That’s fine, but why not using them in a more constructive manner? I will share with you a simple, yet effective way of using questions as well as practical examples which you can use on your next date.
Use questions to change the direction of the conversation
Let’s say you love salsa and the current topic of the conversation is boring to you. Just say “Anyways… I wanted to ask you- have you tried salsa dancing?”. After she gives you an answer, you can start talking about salsa. Boom- the topic is changed to something that is actually interesting to you.
Many people think they need a smooth transition when they change the subject, so they don't seem strange. However, this isn’t true. You don’t need an elaborate way to do this and you certainly don’t need any excuse. It’s a date, not an office meeting! This means you can change subjects whenever you decide. A question is a perfect way to do this, because it’s softer than immediately starting to talk about the new subject.
As long as you express your authentic emotions towards the new topic, she’ll be drawn to it. When you express freely how you feel and what you think about something, she’ll notice that you have passion. This is far more important than the subject itself.
Use questions to communicate that you’re screening her
Questions are an awesome tool to assert the context of you screening her to see if she’s cool enough for you. Why would you do this? Girls are attracted to men that have standards.
On one hand, if you try to impress her in any way during the first date, this communicates that you don't believe you deserve her. This is BAD, because she'll lose attraction for you.
On the other hand, if you screen her to see if she’s cool enough for you, this will communicate that you’re the one who is choosing. She’ll become the one who’s chasing, while you sit there, enjoying the situation.
How do you accomplish this by using questions?
Ask her anything and once she answers, approve or disapprove her answer. Here’s an example:
You: “What did you eat before coming here?”
She: “Spaghetti Bolognese…”
You: “You eat carbohydrates for dinner!? This is the unhealthiest thing I can think of. (disapproving)”
You: “Good! I love spaghetti Bolognese. Did you cook them by yourself?” (approving. Notice that you ask another question to screen her again. If she answers positively you could approve again and vice versa)
Don’t overdo it, though. This technique is powerful, but it’s better to be honest when you approve or disapprove what she says. The problem comes when guys always try to relate to what the girl says, and always approve everything. Don’t be afraid to express negativity.
Use questions to relate with her on emotional level
Relating to her isn’t a bad thing, but you’ve got to do it right. This means it has to happen on the level of emotions, and not on the level of facts.
Most guys are very logical and they always think in terms of the content of the conversation. If you learn to notice the emotions she’s expressing when she talks, this will differentiate you from all the other guys.
Here’s an example:
You: “Tell me what do you really love doing?”
She: “I really love horse riding!!! But… now I have this injury… And now I can’t do it!"
Most guys would start to talk about horse riding, even if they don’t know anything about it. Or they will ask her about the specifics of the injury.
Here’s a better way to respond: ask yourself what emotions she’d expressed. The emotions were enjoyment (from horse riding) and sadness (because she can’t do it). So to relate to her, you could tell her a story about a time when you felt the same. Let’s say you love to play guitar, but you couldn’t take it on your last travel and you felt so sad that you couldn’t do it.
Hope that helps you guys.
Can you think of other good ways to use questions on a first date?
Share them in the comments bellow.
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